When your parents agree to watch your children, this is a convenient arrangement in every respect, but in order for it to work best for all parties, it is important to have some basic rules so that your parents don’t feel like substitute parents or like they are “working for you.” If you stop asking for their help and start demanding it, if you want them to follow all your rules, and if you involve your partner in arguments between you and your parents, you should reconsider your behavior and read the following tips for maintaining a relationship with grandparents who care for their grandkids.

1. Don’t take your parents for granted

Within our family unit, we tend to forget that those around us are people with needs and limitations of their own, just like us. This is even truer when our parents become caregivers to our children. Although grandchildren sometimes seem to be a source of happiness and enjoyable pastime for your parents, remember that they have other interests. Don’t assume that your parents are always available for you or want to help all the time. Ask for help and don’t demand it, and know when you should hold back and not burden them, even considering their age limitations.

If your parents took care of your children all week, you might want to reconsider asking them to babysit Saturday night. Despite the grinding routine, it must be remembered that our parents also need their own free time, a listening ear and someone who would like to spend time with them talking about things that concern them. Look for shared time with your parents where you can recharge them with energy and build up your relationship.

2. Be a little laxer on your rules

Every parent has rules and methods when raising their children; some don’t want their children to watch television, some don’t want them eating candy, and some schedule tutors immediately after the kids come home from school. Whatever your rules are, when your children are under your parents care for a long time, you may need to be a bit more flexible with your rules.

Keep in mind that your parents can’t meet all your conditions and expectations and might even choose to break your rules, whether it’s because that’s what they’re used to, or maybe because they want to spoil and treat their grandkids. As long as your parents do not do something that compromises your child’s physical and mental well-being, think your rules over, and decide which one you can be more flexible with, and which ones you aren’t budging on.

3. Offer payment for special expenses

Even if in most cases your parents won’t ask for compensation for taking care of your children, remember that they have additional expenses on the days they take care of and spend time with your little ones. If grandparents take the grandchildren for a meal at a restaurant, for a day at the mall, or to the zoo, the experience usually involves quite a bit of an expense. Offer to pay them back, or even leave some money with them beforehand. Even if the offer is rejected by your parents, be sure to offer them money from time to time to show them that their help isn’t expected or taken for granted.

4. Say thank you and buy them a gift

Your parents don’t take care of their grandchildren in order to receive a gift. They do so for a variety of reasons related to helping you and just loving and wanting to spend time with their family. Despite all this, all of us, old and young, need recognition and reinforcement. Thank your parents and don’t take their help for granted, even if they’re guilty of doing so themselves. Buy them a nice gift and write a thank you card to remind them of your appreciation of their dedication and help. In order to repay your parents in another way, try to help them in areas where they have difficulty as in small renovations or house maintenance.

5. Don’t involve your partner in arguments with your parents

It is natural and common for you to have occasional disagreements with your parents about issues related to the care and education of your kids, and it’s even recommended that you have an open conversation with them about the issues that concern you, but be sure to do so without involving your partner. Your parents may feel uncomfortable or even attacked, in the presence of a more distant person like your spouse, even if they like and get along with them. If you can’t overcome the problem alone, you can lean on your partner for support, but first, try to talk to your parents privately and remember that they have only good intentions for you and their grandchildren.

6. Encourage your child to respect your parents

Do you come across situations where your children are cheeky to your parents? Do they demand instead of ask, treat your parents with contempt and perhaps maybe even curse them out? Just before you scold them, ask yourself whether your children are just copying the nature of the relationship they have seen between you and your parents. Remember that personal example is the main way children learn about relationships.

Beyond setting a personal example, make sure to praise and thank your parents in front of your children; you can tell them for example how Grandpa once managed to fix the car during a family trip or how Grandma sewed you the most beautiful costume in school. Beyond that, it is important that you teach your child how to deal respectably with arguments and disagreements in general, and with their grandparents in particular.

7. Clean up after yourself

After a whole day in the company of children, everyone’s house looks completely different – toys everywhere, puzzles scattered all over the floor, half-eaten candy and dirty dishes all over the place. It may be that in your home this doesn’t really bother you, but when your children spend time with your parents, it isn’t fair to leave their home messy. Make sure that the kids clean up the mess they made, and do it yourself if your child is too young to do It themselves.

8. Make your home accessible to parents

Technology has become a part of our lives whether we like it or not. Even those who are deterred by innovations have to adapt to a new era and can even finally discover that they like the new possibilities. Many of our parents have a smartphone and a Facebook account and get along very well.

However, it is worth remembering that each device and software has its own complex operating system. When your parents come to your home to watch your children, let them feel comfortable and give them access to all the tools you have in your home. Be sure to explain to your parents how to operate all electronic devices putting special emphasis on the TV, computer, microwave and other appliances that they will most likely want to use.

9. Don’t have your parents cook and clean

You may never have asked your parents to fold your laundry or cook dinner. They just see a pile of clothes on the sofa in the living room and fold it on their own. But what starts out as a small initiative can become an abysmal routine in which most household chores, including cleaning, cooking, children’s showers and even homework help, are done by your parents. In some cases, your parents also drive your kids to afterschool activities.

You may think that your parents are just doing these things to kill time, but no one actually wants to do these menial tasks, especially considering that your parents have to clean up their own home. Just let your parents know that that isn’t something they have to do, and to just enjoy the time with their grandchildren.

Once your kids get older and you no longer need your parents to watch them, they’ll be teenagers managing their own schedules. In order to maintain the relationship between them and keep it deep, mutual and ongoing, make sure that it isn’t based solely on supervision and fulfillment of tasks.

Encourage your children to get off their phones and talk to their grandparents, take an interest in them, discover more of their life story and family heritage. On the other hand, encourage your parents to play with their grandchildren and open up to them not only as grandparents but as human beings. You will find that even when your children grow up and get older, they’ll still want to visit their grandparents and the bond between them will accompany them for the rest of their lives.

Source….www.ba-ba mail.com
Natarajan
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Will Chennai be able to save a 300 year old Plaque connecting it to its Armenian Past …?

The plaque is the last living relic of the Marmalong, the first ever bridge built over the Adyar river in 1726 by Armenian trader Coja Petrus Uscan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you take a walk across the busy roads of Saidapet in Chennai, chances are that you would cross what is perhaps one of the oldest living relics that connects the city to its Armenian past.

To the uninitiated, it may look like an unremarkable slab of stone on a pale green crumbling wall. However, this ordinary looking slab of stone is in fact a 300-year-old plaque that belonged on the pillars of one of oldest bridges in the city.

Marmalong Bridge, the first ever bridge across the Adyar river, was commissioned in 1726 by Coja Petrus Uscan, an immensely wealthy Armenian trader. Uscan, who had decided to settle in Madras after coming to the city in 1724, paid 30,000 pagodas from his own money to build the bridge and another 1,500 pagodas for its upkeep.

“Uscan was immensely respected and perhaps was even one of the only non-British allowed to stay in Fort St George or the White town. A devout believer in St Thomas, Uscan wanted more people to visit the Saint Thomas Mount, and therefore removed the two impediments – the river and the lack of steps – by building the bridge as well as 160 steps to the mount. This was the initial purpose of the bridge. But all that soon changed as the Marmalong Bridge became crucial to the expansion of the city, especially towards the South,” says Chennai-based novelist and historian Venkatesh Ramakrishnan.

Mount Road came after the bridge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Mount Road, around which the city developed, came 60 years after the Marmalong bridge.

Named after Mambalam, one of the villages near the Adyar, the Marmalong Bridge perhaps laid the foundation stone for the city as it led to the emergence of the Mount Road, around which Chennai developed.

“It was only natural that a road followed after a bridge was built. The British built the Mount Road in the 1800s, around which the city grew. So, in a sense, the bridge led to the city’s birth and is very close to its heart,” Venkatesh adds.

However, the Marmalong only lives in our memories today. Where the arched bridge of Uscan once stood, a concrete replacement called the Maraimalai Adigal Bridge now exists. There are no traces of this Adyar-Armenian connect but for the last living relic – the plaque commemorating Uscan’s construction of the bridge.

With inscriptions in three ancient languages – Persian, Armenian and Latin, the Uscan plaque was established in memory of the great nation of Armenia and is a tribute to the people who helped build the city.

“The Armenian inscriptions are on the lower portion of the plaque. It can’t be read because the writing has faded with time and neglect,” according to Venkatesh.

Crusade to preserve the plaque

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The neglected plaque stands near the Saidapet Metro construction site. 

Displaced from its original site, the plaque faces the perils of urbanisation and is further threatened by the metro rail work that is underway.

Years of neglect and development in the area has buried the stone in layers of debris. In fact, the bottom of the stone has disappeared under the ground as the road levels have been rising every year due to re-carpeting, Venkatesh laments.

With the construction of the Saidapet Metro station underway, historians who are fighting to save the plague urge the CMRL to give the stone a place of honor in the metro station.

Highlighting the importance of preserving such relics, Venkatesh says, “The Armenians have contributed immensely to this city. I believe it is important to preserve all traces to this link. It is really unfortunate that while the Uscan stone stands neglected, another plaque at the Fourbeck Bridge is preserved by the Architectural Society of India,” he said.

A dedicated group of Chennai historians have launched a Facebook page “Retrieve Uscan Stone” to draw attention to the issue and save the plaque.

“The Saidapet Metro work is too close to the plaque. We have been urging the officials to move the relic to a better place, may be a museum or a memorial site. We just don’t want to lose a precious piece of the city’s history,” Venkatesh says hopefully.

Source….https://www.thenewsminute.com

Natarajan

 

This Pilot Loves Nothing Better Than Flying with Birds…!!!

Birds of a feather flock together, and these birds are no exception as they take to the skies with a microlight pilot that they believe to be their mother. Christian Moullec, as this breathtaking video shows, has an extraordinary relationship with birds and loves nothing more than to share his passion with others. Since 1995, Moullec has dedicated his life to raising orphaned geese and helping birds on the brink of extinction. See him in action here:

Source….www.ba-ba mail.com

Natarajan