Jokes for the Day …” You Forgot your Wheelchair again …” !!!

A man got really drunk one night in his local pub. The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home. The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave but fell over straight away. He tried to stand up again but only fell over again. He thought if only he could get outside and get some fresh air he’d be grand. So he crawled outside then tried to stand up and fell over again. In the end after falling over lots more he decided to crawl home. When he got back to his house he pulled himself up using the door handle but as soon as he let go he fell over again. He had to crawl up the stairs and managed to fall over onto the bed and fell asleep. When he finally woke up the next morning his wife asked him what he was doing at the pub last night. He denied it but she said, “I know you were there…” he maintained his innocence until “…the barman rang to say you forgot your wheelchair again….”   

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One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, “Tonight I’m the designated  Decoy !!!….
……………………………..
There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, “Hey, you look familiar.
Are you from around here?” The man answers, “Yeah, I live down the street.”
“No kidding?” says the first man, “Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where did you go to high school?”
“Oh I went to Francis Lewis over on Utopia. Graduated in ’66.
How ’bout you?”
“Get out. I went to Francis Lewis. And I graduated in ’66, too.” “Where’d you go to college?”
“Beloit, in Wisconsin.”
“No way! I went to Beloit too. What dorm?”
“Kevin Sullivan dorm.”
“Sullivan? You’re not going to believe this . . .”
Joe the bartender walks over, and the first guy says, “Joe, you won’t believe it in a million years. This guy went to the same
high school as me, graduated the same year I did, and went to the same college. We were even in the same dorm. Isn’t that amazing?”
Joe looks at them both and says, “Yeah, that’s just plain amazing.”
A third man comes in and says, “Hey Joe. What’s new?” Joe says, “Not much. The Johnson twins are drunk again

source::::joke a day.com

natarajan

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