Many people will have a heavy heart having heard the sad news that comedy legend, Jerry Lewis, has passed away at the age of 91. Although he fell in and out of favor with his adoring public throughout his career, there’s no denying that he was both immensely talented and incredibly generous – he ran a Labor Day telethon each year from 1966 to 2010 in order to raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, raising some $2.5 billion in the process. Enjoy 12 of the most famous sketches and songs from his career below:
A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in…
Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. “Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!”
The wife, startled at her husband’s violent reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter.
You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!”
The wife, concerned by the status of her husband’s mental state, forgets about the butter and goes running to the eggs.
“WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY??? Where are we going to get the butter? They’re going to stick! HURRY!”
The wife runs to the fridge.
“CAREFUL about the eggs! CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, don’t you know how to cook? Are you insane? Turn the DAMN EGGS”
At this point, the wife starts crying, since she has no idea what to do.
She gasps “What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs.”
The husband simply smiles and remarks “I just wanted to show you what it feels like while I’m driving with you in the car” and leaves.
Margaret was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertaker’s to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black suit, but he’d see what he could arrange. The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she managed to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.
She said to the undertaker “Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?”
“Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit,” the undertaker replied.
The wife smiled at the man.
He continued, “After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads.”
United State Air Force has a high security, super secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?”
One afternoon, a Cessna landed at this “secret” base. The aircraft was immediately impounded & the pilot was interrogated.
The pilot’s story was that – he took off from Vegas, got lost & spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel.
The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot & held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost & wasn’t a spy.
They re fueled his airplane, threatened him that if he lands again he would spend the rest of his life in prison, and let him go.
The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force personnel, the same Cessna landed there again.
Once again, the security personnel surrounded the plane… only this time there were two people in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out & said:
“Do anything you want – to me, but my wife is in the plane & you have to tell her … where I was last night!”
😁😋Wife is a LIC employee. She went to a portrait painter to get her painting done. She asked him to add a ten lakh necklace to her neck on the portrait (though she was not wearing it).. The painter asked why she wanted it in her picture. She replied.. “if I die, my husband will marry again. The new wife will see this picture and will search for this necklace. They both will fight and that’s when my soul will find real peace 😝”
This is called ~
Jeevan anand policy….
“zindagi ke saath bhi, zindagi ke baad bhi”!!
All time classic👇
A newly married couple was walking through a garden, suddenly a dog ran towards them.They both knew it will bite them..
The husband lifted his wife and let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart
The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little while and ran away.
The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.
But his wife shouted
“I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs, this is the first time I am seeing someone trying to throw his wife at a dog”!!
Moral : A Wife is a Wife
No One ELSE Can MIS-UNDERSTAND a Husband Better, than a Wife.
Swami Unknownananda 😀