Iceberg!!!
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here.”
The astonished Chinese man replied, “It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese”.
“Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, “You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.”
Shocked, Spielberg replies, “It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.”
The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same.”
Badmouthology!!!!
An American tourist asked a boat guy in Zanzibar, “Do you know Biology, Psychology, Geography, Geology or Criminology?”
The boat guy said, “No. I don’t know any of these.”
The tourist then said, “What the hell do you know on the face of this Earth?
You will die of illiteracy!”
The boatman said nothing.. After a while the boat developed a fault and started sinking. The boatman then asked the tourist, “Do you know Swimology and Escapology from Crocodiology?”
The tourist said, “No!”
The boatman replied, “Well, today you will Drownology and Crocodiology will eat your buttology. I will not Helpology and you will Dieology because of your Badmouthology.”
Obedient Daddy!!!!!
A father of five came to home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present.
`Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?’ he enquired.
There was a silence, and then a chorus of voices: `you play with it, Daddy!’
5 Ways You Can Be Happier at Work Right Now
No matter how passionate you are about your business, the stress, long hours, and a myriad of worries can leave you feeling unhappy at work. According to a June 2012 report by the Conference Board, an independent business membership and research association, only 47% of Americans are satisfied with their jobs.
“We spend way too much time at work to not be happy,” says Beth Thomas, author of Powered by Happy: How to Get and Stay Happy at Work (Sourcebooks, 2010). Being unhappy at work can not only affect your mood, but your productivity and your company’s bottom line.
Bring joy into your job and improve your company’s success with these tips:
1. Stay rooted in the present. “Many of our negative thoughts come from worrying about situations that may never happen,” says Thomas. While entrepreneurs often have to make contingency plans, constantly thinking about the worst case scenario can place undue stress on your body and mind and drain it of resources that are better used in more productive ways.
“The best way to deal with negative thoughts is to separate fiction from fact,” says Thomas. So, the next time you find yourself facing a negative thought, analyze the situation and ask whether you’re reacting to a real or imagined situation.
2. Engage in positive thinking. Shifting negative thoughts to positive ones can help to improve your mood and mindset. “Every time a negative thought comes into your head, stop and think about a positive one,” says Thomas. Do this for a few weeks and you’ll quickly notice that you’re creating a new habit that will enhance your happiness not only at work, but in your daily life.
3. Help others. Whether getting involved in philanthropic activities or helping your staff improve in their jobs, Thomas says charity is the secret to lasting happiness. “Happiness at work isn’t about what you alone achieve. It’s not about helping yourself look better, but about making everyone on your team perform better,” says Thomas.
Setting up an employee mentoring program where senior staff members assist junior staff, or getting your staff involved in a philanthropic activity such as a local food drive or a charity cycling event can improve the happiness of everyone in the office.
4.Take a break. While entrepreneurs are often motivated by positive stress, the kind that pushes us to do more, it’s important to recognize when your mind and body need a break. “Even if you like your job, stress can weigh you down and make you unhappy,” says Thomas. Schedule a few days off or find an outlet after work or on the weekend to have fun, rest your mind and rejuvenate yourself.
5. Keep a gratitude journal. Happiness doesn’t come from getting something you don’t have, but recognizing and appreciating what you do have. Write down five things you’re grateful for each day before you start work, or before you leave the office at the end of the day, to retrain your brain to focus on the positive.
source::::: yahoo india net
Natarajan
Diwali: Celebration of five days
The festival Diwali is a five day celebration and it starts with ‘Dhanteras’. This day holds important significance for the business community because of the customary buying of precious metals like gold and silver on this very day. It is an auspicious day when Hindus purchase gold, silver and utensils and it is believed to be a sign of good luck.
The second day of Diwali is known as ‘Naraka Chaturdasi’. On this day Lord Krishna defeated the demon Narakasur and made the world free from his terror.
The third day of Diwali is the worship of Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth. This day signifies welcoming of wealth, health and prosperity. On this day Lakshmi Pooja is performed and people lit earthen diyas and candles all over their house and burn firecrackers to keep away evils.
The fourth day of Diwali marks ‘Kartika Shudda Padyami’. And, the fifth day ends with ‘Bhai Dooj’ which signifies the bonding between brother and sister.
Diwali is celebrated grandly in the Northern part of India. All the buildings, shops, houses and streets are illuminated with clay lamps, electric bulbs and candles. They have a tradition to gift their near and dear ones with silver coins, sweets and dry fruits. Interestingly, in places like Punjab, Haryana and Delhi, people play cards in Diwali. In South India, Diwali celebration starts with cleaning the house and putting kolam (rangoli). Everywhere in India, bursting firecrackers is the main attraction.
However, in the eastern part of India in West Bengal, Kali Pooja is another important draw of Bengal soon after the grand celebration of Durga Pooja. West Bengal celebrates Kali Pooja which coincides with the Diwali Festival with the same enthusiasm. The only evident difference is that while rest of India worships Goddess Lakshmi on this day, Goddess Kali is the chief deity for the occasion in West Bengal. This is celebrated on the eve of Amavasya of Kartik month as per Hindu calendar which is on the month of October/ November.
Wrapping up:
Firecrackers, sweets, earthen diyas and rangoli are the known flavours of Diwali celebration. It is a celebration of lights. India celebrates this festival with great joy and belief. It is a time that reunites family, friends and relatives. Happy Diwali!
source::::: unknown….
Natarajan
Very Good ones for all walks of life !!!!
Death asked Life :
Why does everyone love you and hate me.
Life replied :
Because I am a beautiful Lie and you are a painful Truth
Temple is a 6 letter word
Church is a 6 letter word
Mosque is also a 6 letter word
Geeta is a 5 letter word
Bible is a 5 letter word
Quran is also a 5 letter word
A Lovely Logic for a beautiful Life:
Never try to maintain relations in your life
Just try to maintain life in your relations
Always welcome the problems
Because problems give you dual advice
First, you know how to solve it
Second, you know how to avoid it in future
3 stages of Life:
Teen Age – Has time & energy – But no Money
Working Age – Has Money & Energy – But No Time
Old Age – Has Money & Time – But No Energy
We are very good Lawyers for our mistakes
Very good Judges for other’s mistakes
World always say – Find good people and leave bad ones.
But I say, Find the good in people and ignore the bad in them
Because No one is born perfect
A fantastic sentence written on every Japanese bus stop.
Only buses will stop here – Not your time
So Keep walking towards your goal
Negative Thinkers focus on Problems
Positive thinkers focus on Solutions
Never hold your head high with pride or ego.
Even the winner of a gold medal gets his medal only when he bows his head down
Define TODAY
This is an Opportunity to Do A work better than Yesterday
African Saying:
If you want to walk quick, walk alone
If you want to walk far, walk together
Confident Quote:
I have not failed.
My success is just postponed.
source::::: unknown…. input from one of my friends….a good stuff for a Golden Laugh !!!!!!!!
Natarajan
Secret to a 50 year long marriage!
At a convention center London, they have weekly husband’s marriage seminars.
At the session last week, one guest asked Popatbhai, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Popatbhai replied to the assembled husbands, ‘Well, I’ve tried to treat her nice, spend money on her, but best of all is, I took her to Bombay, India for the 25th anniversary!’
The guest responded, “Popat bhai, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?”
Popatbhai proudly replied, “I’m going back to Bombay to pick her up.”
===================================================================
source:::: input from one of my friends… nice joke to read and laugh… also to share with your friends ..
Natarajan
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked ‘Is my time up?’
God said, ‘No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.’
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well
make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an
ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, ‘I thought you said I had
another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?’
(You’ll love this!!!)
God replied: ‘I didn’t recognize you’
Source:::: Input from one of my friends…what a nice way to say THANK YOU to your friend!!!…I am sure you will appreciate the sentiments expressed in this small poem and share it with your friends and well wishers
Just smile and say… THANK YOU ….to all your friends …
Natarajan
Dear Lord,
I know you’re watching over me
And I’m feeling truly blessed
For no matter what I pray for
You always know what’s best!
I have a circle of E-mail friends,
Who mean the world to me;
Some days I ‘send’ and ‘send,’
At other times, I let them be !!!
I am so blessed to have these friends,
With whom I’ve grown so close;
So this little poem I dedicate to them,
Because to me they are the ‘Most’!
When I see each name download,
And view the message they’ve sent;
I know they’ve thought of me that day,
And ‘well wishes’ were their intent.
AND to YOU, my friends, I would like to say,
Thank you for being a part;
Of all my daily contacts,
This comes right from my heart..
God Bless YOU, is my prayer today,
I’m honored to call You ‘Friend’;
I pray the Lord will keep YOU Cheerful
Until we MEET AND GREET again!!!!!!!!!
Natarajan
source::::unknown…. input from one of my friends…. these slogans bring instant smile on your face and makes you to spread your smile in the surroundings!!!!!…..just read and smile!!!!!
Natarajan
Sign on a railway station at Patna : **
Aana free, jaana free, ** **
pakde gaye to khana free.** *
———————————————————————————————————-
Sign at a famous beauty parlour in Bombay : ** **
Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here. ** **She may be your grandmother! ** **
—————————————————————————————————————
Sign on a bulletin board: ** **
Success is relative ** **
More success means more relatives. ** **
———————————————————————————————————–
Sign at a barber’s saloon in Juhu, Bombay : ** **
We need your heads to run our business.** *
————————————————————————–
A traffic slogan: ** **
Don’t let your kids drive if they are not old enough – or else they might never be…..** *
*THE BEST ONE : * *
**It’s God’s responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations. **
It’s our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and God.** **- Indian Armed Forces*
source::::unknown….input from one of my friends…. have a hearty laugh and share the jokes …
Natarajan
>> On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
>>
>> One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?”
>>
>> The tower responded, “Who is calling?”
>>
>> The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?”
>>
>> The tower replied, “It makes a lot of difference.. . If it is a commercial flight, it is 3 o’clock . If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to “Happy Hour.”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
>>
>> “Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
>>
>> “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. “Yours is.”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
>> “Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon and I’ll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.”
>>
>> Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, “What do you want?”
>>
>> “Nothing important, sir,” the airman replied, “I’m just here to hook up your telephone.”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
>> Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”
>> Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer!
>> Now let’s try it again!” Do you have change for a dollar?”
>> Soldier: “No, SIR!”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
>> A: He’ll tell you.
>>
>>
>> Q: What’s the difference between God and fighter pilots?
>> A: God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.
>>
>>
>> Q: What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
>> A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
>>
>> The General shouted, “Hey, don’t put that stuff on me! My wife will think I’ve been in a whore-house! ”
>>
>> The Chief turned to his barber and said, “Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whore-house smells like.”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> “Well,” snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, “I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and pee on my grave.”
>>
>> “Not me, Chief!” the Seaman replied. “Once I get out of the Navy, I’m never going to stand in a queue again!”
Take off with Natarajan 