Author: Natarajan

குரல் எல்லாம் ….குறள் …..

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ஆத்மார்த்தமான வாழ்வை இரண்டடியில் சொல்லிய வித்தகனே திருவள்ளுவர். இவர், உலகுக்கு அளித்த நெறிமுறைகளை பின்பற்றுவோர், வாழ்வில் சோடை போவதில்லை. உலகமே
மெச்சும் மனிதராகவும், சக மனிதர்களிடமிருந்து தனித்துவமிக்கவர்களாகவும் உள்ளனர்.

இவ்வரிசையில், நெற்றியில் பளிச்சிடும் விபூதியும், சாந்தமான புன்னகை, அமைதி தவழும் முகம் என முகவரி கொண்ட ஹரிகிருஷ்ணனும் இடம் பிடித்துள்ளார். வள்ளுவன் எழுதிய 1330 திருக்குறளையும், தடங்கலின்றி சொல்லி கேட்போரை திக்கு முக்காட செய்கிறார். மனதின் ஏட்டில் பதித்து விட்டு, யார் எம்முனையில் இருந்து கேட்டாலும், கேட்போரை குறள் மழையால் நனைய வைக்கிறார்.இவர், அவிநாசி அருகே தெக்கலூர் – வெள்ளாண்டிபாளையத்தை சேர்ந்தவர். அப்பகுதியில் உள்ள அரசு பள்ளியில் ஏழாம் வகுப்பு படித்து வருகிறார். பாடப்புத்தகம், திருக்குறளின் மீது அதீத நாட்டத்தை செலுத்தி வருகிறார். ஐந்தாம் வகுப்பு படிக்கும் போதே, திருக்குறள் ஒப்புவித்தலில் உள்ள திறமையை உணர்ந்து, துவக்கப்பள்ளி ஆசிரியைகளும், பெற்றோரும் ஊக்குவித்துள்ளனர். இன்று 1,330 குறள்களையும் சரசரவென சொல்லும்மளவுக்கு, திருக்குறளை தன்வசப்படுத்தியுள்ளார்.

ஹரியின் பெற்றோர்களான சண்முகசுந்தரம், ரேணுகா தேவி இருவரும் விசைத்தறி கூடம் நடத்தி வருகின்றனர். “ச்சடக்.. ச்சடக்…’ என்றே தறியின் சத்தத்தையே கேட்டுப்பழகிய அவர்களுக்கு, மகன் கூறும் குறள், காதோரம் தித்திப்பை ஏற்படுத்துகின்றன. டிவி, நண்பர்களுடன் வீண் அரட்டை மற்றும் விளையாட்டுகளில் சிக்கவில்லை. அமுத தமிழின் மீதே முழு ஆர்வத்தையும் செலுத்தி வருகிறார்.

திருக்குறள் மீதான ஆர்வம் குறித்து, ஹரி கிருஷ்ணனிடம் பேசியதிலிருந்து…: ஐந்தாம் வகுப்பு படிக்கும் போதே, 50 குறள்களை கடகடவென ஒப்புவித்தேன். ஆசிரியர்களும், அப்பா, அம்மாவும் பாராட்டினர். அதற்குப்பின் வந்த விடுமுறை நாட்களில் மற்ற குறள்களை படிக்க ஆரம்பித்தேன். முதலில் கஷ்டமாக இருந்த குறள், போகப்போக இஷ்டமானது. பல மேடைகளில் பரிசு வாங்கினாலும், நான் படிக்கும் பள்ளியில் 1,330 குறள்களையும் சொல்லி பாராட்டு வாங்கியதை என்னால் மறக்க முடியாது. தற்போது திருக்குறள் தெளிவுரை படித்து வருகிறேன். இந்தாண்டு முடிவில், குறளுடன் தெளிவுரையும் கூறுவேன். எண், ஆரம்ப மற்றும் இறுதி வார்த்தை, உதடு ஒட்டி, ஒட்டமாமல் வரும் குறள் என எம்முனையில் கேட்டாலும் சொல்வேன்.எண்ணிய எண்ணியாங்கு எய்துப எண்ணியார்திண்ணிய ராகப் பெறின்.”எண்ணத்தை அடைகாத்து வெற்றி காணும் மன உறுதி வாய்க்கப் பெற்றோர், நினைத்ததை நினைத்தபடியே அடைவர்,’ என்ற பொருள்படும் என்ற 666வது குறள்தான் அப்துல்கலாமுக்கு பிடிக்குமாம்; அதே குறள் தனக்கும் ரொம்பவே இஷ்டம்’, என திருக்குறள் போல சுருக்கமாக முடித்து கொண்டார். ஹரி… திருக்குறளில் சொல்வதெல்லாம் சரி தான்…!

source:::’:”DINA MALAR “..Tamil daily…
Natarajan

An Inspiring Story of a Mathematician from Patna….

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ANAND KUMAR from Patna…..

He developed an indomitable affection and love towards mathematics and possesses exceptional mathematical abilities. His role model is great Indian mathematician “Ramanujan”. During graduation, He submitted papers on Number Theory, which were published in Mathematical Spectrum and The Mathematical Gazette. He worked hard and dreamed of getting into one of the world’s best university “Cambridge”. And one day he got it, admission to Cambridge.

But…

Very soon he realized that his father cannot afford his education at Cambridge. He and his father searched helplessly for a sponsor all over India but nobody came up. And one day his family’s only breadwinner: his father died and his last hope of getting good education diminished. He gave up the dream of Cambridge and came back to his home in Patna, Bihar.

He would work on Mathematics during day time and would sell papads in evenings with his mother, who had started a small business from home, to support her family. He also tutored students in maths to earn extra money. Since Patna University library did not have foreign journals, for his own study, he would travel every weekend on a six-hour train journey to Varanasi, where his younger brother, learning violin under N. Rajam, had a hostel room. Thus he would spend Saturday and Sunday at the Central Library, BHU and return to Patna on Monday morning.

He rented a classroom for Rs 500 a month, and began his own institute, the Ramanujam School of Mathematics (RSM). Within the space of year, his class grew from two students to thirty-six, and after three years there were almost 500 students enrolled. Then in early 2000, when a poor student came to him seeking coaching for IIT-JEE, who couldn’t afford the annual admission fee due to poverty, Kumar was motivated to start the Super 30 program in 2003, for which he is now well-known.

Every year in August, since 2003, the Ramanujan School of Mathematics, now a trust, holds a competitive test to select 30 students for the ‘Super 30’ scheme. About 4,000 to 5,000 students appear at the test, and eventually he takes thirty intelligent students from economically backward sections which included beggars, hawkers, auto-driver’s children, tutors them, and provides study materials and lodging for a year. He prepares them for the Joint Entrance Examination for the Indian Institutes of Technology (IIT). His mother, Jayanti Devi, cooks for the students, and his brother Pranav Kumar takes care of the management.

Out of 270 students he tutored from 2002-2011 236 students have made an admission to IIT. All of them came so poor background that their parents were Hawkers, Auto-drivers, laborer etc.
During 2003-2009, 182 students out of 210 have made it to the IITs.

In 2010, all the students of Super 30 cleared IIT JEE entrance making it a three in a row for the institution.
Anand Kumar has no financial support for Super 30 from any government as well as private agencies, and manages on the tuition fee he earns from the Ramanujam Institute. After the success of Super 30 and its growing popularity, he got many offers from the private – both national and international companies – as well as the government for financial help, but he always refused it. He wanted to sustain Super 30 through his own efforts. After three consecutive 30/30 results in 2008-2010, in 2011, 24 of the 30 students cleared IIT JEE.

Anand’s work is now well received from all over the world :

USA’s President Obama read about Anand in TIME magazine and sent a special envoy to check the work done by him and offered all the assistance and Anand never accepts help irrespective of helper.

Discovery Channel broadcast a one-hour-long program on Super 30, and half a page has been devoted to Kumar in The New York Times.

Actress and ex-Miss Japan Norika Fujiwara visited Patna to make a documentary on Anand’s initiatives.

Kumar has been featured in programmes by the BBC.

He has spoken about his experiences at Indian Institute of Management Ahmedabad.

Kumar is in the Limca Book of Records (2009) for his contribution in helping poor students crack IIT-JEE by providing them free coaching.

Time Magazine has selected mathematician Anand Kumar’s school – Super 30 – in the list of Best of Asia 2010.

Anand Kumar was awarded the S. Ramanujan Award for 2010 by the Institute for Research and Documentation in Social Sciences (IRDS) in July 2010.

Super 30 received praise from United States President Barack Obama’s special envoy Rashad Hussain, who termed it the “best” institute in the country. Newsweek Magazine has taken note of the initiative of mathematician Anand Kumar’s Super 30 and included his school in the list of four most innovative schools in the world.
Anand Kumar has been awarded by top award of Bihar government “Maulana Abdul Kalam Azad Shiksha Puraskar” November 2010.
He was awarded the Prof Yashwantrao Kelkar Yuva Puraskar 2010 by Akhil Bharatiya Vidyarthi Parishad (ABVP) in Bangalore.
In April 2011, Anand Kumar was selected by Europe’s magazine Focus as “one of the global personalities who have the ability to shape exceptionally talented people.”

source:::: input from one of my contacts…&..super 30 website
Natarajan

10 Year Old Boy….Manager…Virgin Atlantic !!!!!

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source:::: mirror.uk…..an interesting story to read and share….
Natarajan

Plane crazy 10-year-old Billy Yeomans is the envy of all his friends at school in Chichester, West Sussex.
He’s been appointed by Virgin Atlantic to test and approve the airline’s newly refurbished Boeing 747 leisure fleet at Gatwick airport.
Sir Richard Branson’s airline chose Billy from more than 600 applicants to become Virgin’s first Junior Approvals Manager.
Billy wowed judges by creating his own plane cabin in his family home, collecting more than 30 aeroplane safety cards and navigating his dad on a flight to Switzerland.
The schoolboy was given free rein on a jumbo jet – fresh from a 95,000hr refit – for a day at Gatwick and will submit a full report to Sir Richard.
Billy got exclusive access to the in-flight entertainment system, taste tested a new menu and checked out the redesigned economy seats.
Billy puts the new economy class seats to the test
Once his report has been approved, the fleet of 7 planes spruced up at a total cost of £50 million will go on to make more than 650 flights a year, carrying in excess of half a million children to destinations including the Caribbean and the USA.
Sir Richard said: “As a child I was mad about planes and the sense of adventure and excitement of being in the sky. We wanted to find someone who feels the same way as I still do about flying. Billy was the perfect young man for the job and he is going to be giving our newly refitted 747s the once over; watching films, eating our food and rating our wonderful cabin crew.”
Billy added: “I gave the plane a really thorough inspection and could’ve sat for hours watching movies and playing on the games, even the food was quite tasty although it doesn’t beat my mum’s home cooking. When I grow up I’d love to be a pilot.”

Moon Baffles a Policeman!!!!!!!!

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A British policeman put his colleagues on alert as he investigated a ‘suspicious bright light’ – only to find it was the moon, an in-house magazine for the police reported on Wednesday.

Police magazine reported that the hapless officer only realised his blunder after warning his fellow constables in Worcestershire, central England, that he might require back-up.

The magazine’s Dogberry column revealed: ‘While single-crewed on night duty in Worcestershire a PC called up his sergeant letting him know that he was going up into the Clent Hills to investigate a ‘suspicious bright light’ that he could see shining from the other side of the hills.

‘The call was for safety reasons as he might need back-up once he found the source.

‘Twenty minutes later the PC called his sergeant back to reassure him that everything was ok and that he had found the source of the light.

‘This diligent PC had in fact discovered the moon.’

While the gaffe was once known only to the unnamed policeman’s colleagues in the Worcestershire force, it has now been revealed to all 132,000 police rank-and-file officers in England and Wales who receive the magazine.

source::::: BIGPOND NEWS …Brisbane…story reported in news as Odd Spot!!!
Natarajan

Ducks Quack ….Eagles Soar…..

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source:::::unknown….input from one of my friends…….really a wonderful story on motivation….

Natarajan

Food for thought and hopefully action.
Best of luck…

No one can make you serve customers well…..that’s because great service is a choice.
Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: ‘I’m Wally, your driver. While I’m loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.’

Taken aback, Harvey read the card.. It said: Wally’s Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment…

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, ‘Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.’ My friend said jokingly, ‘No, I’d prefer a soft drink.’ Wally smiled and said, ‘No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice…’ Almost stuttering, Harvey said, ‘I’ll take a Diet Coke.’

Handing him his drink, Wally said, ‘If you’d like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.’

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, ‘These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you’d like to listen to the radio.’

And as if that weren’t enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he’d be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

‘Tell me, Wally,’ my amazed friend asked the driver, ‘have you always served customers like this?’

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. ‘No, not always.. In fact, it’s only been in the last two years.. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.

He had just written a book called You’ll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you’ll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, ‘Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don’t be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd..’

‘That hit me right between the eyes,’ said Wally. ‘Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.’

‘I take it that has paid off for you,’ Harvey said.

‘It sure has,’ Wally replied. ‘My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I’ll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don’t sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can’t pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.’

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I’ve probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn’t do any of what I was suggesting..

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you… The ball is in our hands!
A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up… let us do good to all people.

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.

SORROW looks back, WORRY looks around, and FAITH looks UP…

while in the storm, give it to God and let Him handle it. Have a cheerful day…………

Tell your Shoe size…I will tell your Age!!!!!

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Somethig for fun and play!!!

Natarajan

THIS IS SO ACCURATE

Your shoes can tell you your age. Try this and see:

· 1. Take your shoe size.
· 2. Multiply it by 5.
· 3. Add 50.
· 4. Multiply by 20…
· 5. Add 1012.
· 6. Subtract the year you were born

The first digit of the answer is your shoe size,
while the last 2 digits will be your age.

TRY IT. YOU WILL BE AMAZED !!

source:::: unknown

81 Year Old Aircraft Ready to Fly Again !!!

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SOURCE: ARITA SARKAR in” THE HINDU “……

Natarajan

A dream in progress, to see one of the oldest aircrafts in the city take flight again, is nearing completion.

The engine of an 81-year-old de Havilland Puss Moth, will be ready next week, in the first and pivotal step towards the restoration of the aircraft.

Eight months ago, the remains of the dilapidated aeroplane was spotted by Steve Borgia, a collector of contemporary museum artefacts. Mr. Borgia, after a great deal of persuasion, bought it from the owner, Ramanathan Avudiappa Chettiar.

“I had no intention of selling it. But for the sake of national interest I sold it, as it would be remarkable to see it fly again,” said Mr. Chettiar. The craft was earlier owner by Mr. Chettiar’s father, V.R.M.A. Avudiappa Chettiar, but had a long and interesting journey before making its way to the possession of his son.

The aircraft has made a long journey before it made its way into the possession of his son, Ramanathan Avudiappa Chettiar.

Eight months ago, the remains of the aircraft, now in a dilapidated structure, was spotted by Steve Borgia, a collector of contemporary museum artefacts.According to Anuradha Reddy, an aviation historian, historical records suggest that the aircraft was first registered in 1931, and had been in the possession of several individuals before it lost its flying license in 1942.

The aircraft has now been placed at a conservation laboratory in a hotel in Swamimalai, Thanjavur district, where restoration work on it has been going on for the past six months. “I have spoken to various consultants to discuss the restoration plans. Mechanical engineers have been working on the engine for the past six months now, and the engine is finally almost complete,” said Mr. Borgia

It is a whole new experience for Shivam Sabesan, the deputy manager of technical planning at Nissan, who has only ever worked with car engines so far in his career.

“It is an invigorating experience to be able to handle a machine that is so old. It tells you how engines were in earlier times,” he said. Work will move on next to the fuselage or the airframe.

Once this is completed, the wings will be worked upon, followed by the wiring and the landing gear.

“The plane is built around the engine. That’s the toughest part. The rest is easier,” Mr. Sabesan said.

Mr. Borgia’s excitement is palpable. Mr. Borgia, in his enthusiasm to see the restoration project through said, “I want to fly the aircraft. Even if it doesn’t take off, I will drive it on the road and take it to Chettinad and park it on the tarmac that was prepared for it,” he said.

New Generation of AirShip ….Aeroscraft !!!!!

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Lighter-than-air craft rise again

A behind the scenes look at the project to build a radical new airship that could soon criscross our skies.

If you like the idea of cruising on a ship in laid-back luxury, but prefer the speed and convenience of air travel, there may soon be a solution. Drawing their inspiration from the airships of yesteryear, a new generation of airship-like vehicles could soon be making their way across our skies.

In a hangar outside Tustin in California, engineers are preparing one of the most radical designs for testing.  The Aeroscraft, as it is known, is the brainchild of Igor Pasternak and has been made possible by advances in materials and computer control systems.

“We are resurrecting [the airship] with new composite fabric structures, that are stronger, lighter, more versatile” says Fred Edworthy, of Aeros, the company building the lighter-than-air vehicle.

The airship in the hangar is being built to test various key components of a design that could one day contain a hotel, casino or spa. However, the company believes one of its biggest markets could be transporting freight from hard-to-reach locations or, for example, carrying wind turbine blades. Currently blades are as large as they can be to be transported on a truck.

“It’s a new era for logistics in cargo. Transport is our first aim for these craft,” says Edworthy.  “It’s impossible to get into some of the resource rich areas of the world. Ecologically, you can’t do it. Areas of the far north, or the Amazon are good examples.”

Planes need large runways, and helicopters can only carry limited loads. But the Aeroscraft can take-off and land vertically using turbofans that can swivel to provide lift and move the craft forward.

Rising up

The whole process of loading and unloading, as well as getting off the ground and keeping the ship aloft is helped by an ingenious system held within the frame of the ship.

“The biggest advancement is our buoyancy management system that allows the vehicle to operate autonomously – without the hundreds of people that you saw grabbing the Zeppelin type airships,” says Edworthy.

The system gets around a major drawback of traditional airships which have difficulty controlling lift, and need ballasts to reach the correct altitude, and ropes and docking stations are needed on the ground to stop a vessel floating off.

Instead, the Aeroscraft uses large bags, or bladders, inside a rigid structure. When the pilot wants to descend, the vehicle needs to be heavier, so the helium in the main body of the craft is compressed and put into storage chambers. That creates a relative vacuum inside the body, which draws air from the outside. Air is heavier than helium, so the vehicle sinks. To rise again, the stored helium is released back into the body of the aircraft, pushing the air out of the bags and replacing the volume it filled with lightweight helium.

“We can control the buoyancy, and allow ourselves to come to the ground and land vertically as well as take off vertically,” says Edworthy.  That is the biggest advancement over the last 100 years.”

The whole process is controlled from a cockpit, which is also designed to be retractable to allow the craft to be as aerodynamic as possible. During flight it can be moved inside the vehicle, and the pilots will have “virtual” views on screens. The whole assembly is lowered below the airship body for landing or when visibility is needed.

The craft is also designed to be as simple to fly as possible. Fibre-optics around the aircraft link touch screens in the cockpit with actuators and controls in the engines or on the control surfaces.

“We moved from the typical aircraft paradigm where we have pedals, to a 6 degree of freedom joystick,” says Munir Jojo-Verge, aerospace control flight engineer for the firm.  “You can control the vehicle with one hand – roll, pitch, yaw. This is a huge step.”

Ease of control will be critical when the firms’ next generation craft, which are twice the size of the test vehicle under construction, are built.

Assuming they pass their flight tests, which will begin later this year, the big question is whether anyone will choose to fly in them. For all of their cutting edge design and elegance, they will still only travel at about quarter of the speed of a passenger jet.

“It will be slower than a 747 [plane] at approximately 110 knots (approx 200km/h) cruising speed,” admits Edworthy. “But it would be the event of ‘getting there’ rather than how quickly you get there.”

source:::::bbc.com ………….

Natarajan

 

 

Kashmir to UK…By Road…..

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New 4000-mile bus route will connect Birmingham to Kashmir

Mirpur in Jammu and Kashmir will now be directly linked by road with the United Kingdom through a direct bus service, says a report.
A new 4,000-mile bus route connecting the city Birmingham, will pass through seven countries, including Iran, before finally reaching its destination, also known as ‘Little Birmingham’.
Passengers embarking on the epic 12-day journey are likely to be charged 130 pounds for a ticket, the Daily Mirror reports.
The service is definitely a good news for the people of Birmingham, which is home to the world’s largest population of Kashmiri expats.
According to the report, security concerns have, however, been raised about the route, which will stop over at Quetta, Pakistan.
Top Taliban commanders are said to be hiding in the volatile city, near the Afghan border. ..

source::::::yahoo news net…

natarajan

Humour in Uniform…Happy Hours….

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source::::unknown….input from one of my friends…. have a hearty laugh and share the jokes …

Natarajan

>> On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
>>
>> One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?”
>>
>> The tower responded, “Who is calling?”
>>
>> The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?”
>>
>> The tower replied, “It makes a lot of difference.. . If it is a commercial flight, it is 3 o’clock . If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to “Happy Hour.”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
>>
>> “Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
>>
>> “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. “Yours is.”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
>> “Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon and I’ll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.”
>>
>> Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, “What do you want?”
>>
>> “Nothing important, sir,” the airman replied, “I’m just here to hook up your telephone.”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
>> Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”
>> Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer!
>> Now let’s try it again!” Do you have change for a dollar?”
>> Soldier: “No, SIR!”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
>> A: He’ll tell you.
>>
>>
>> Q: What’s the difference between God and fighter pilots?
>> A: God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.
>>
>>
>> Q: What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
>> A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
>>
>> The General shouted, “Hey, don’t put that stuff on me! My wife will think I’ve been in a whore-house! ”
>>
>> The Chief turned to his barber and said, “Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whore-house smells like.”
>>
>> ———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
>>
>> “Well,” snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, “I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and pee on my grave.”
>>
>> “Not me, Chief!” the Seaman replied. “Once I get out of the Navy, I’m never going to stand in a queue again!”