With no malice or prejudice towards any one!
Today is Jim’s birthday,
so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.
At the club –
DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you? 
WIFE: How does he know you? 
JIM: We play Golf together! 
BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?
WIFE: And how does he know you?
JIM: He’s on the Bowling Team! 
HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim?
The Wife storms out…… dragging Jim with her, into a taxi! 
🚖
TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy….You picked an ugly one this time…Same Hotel? 
Today is Jim’s funeral.
………………..
n a ladies KITTY PARTY MEETING :
The host asked a question !
When did u last say I LOVE YOU to your husbands ??
One said..today..
other said…2 days back…..someone said…1 week back…
Host said ” Now, all of u send I LOVE YOU .. SMS to your husbands. Whoever gets AWESOME reply will get a SURPRISE GIFT..”.
Everyone sent I LOVE U msgs to their husbands.
After sometime, HUSBANDs’ replies are as below…..
1) SWEETY…. Is your health condition Ok??? 
2) Haven’t you cooked today too?
3) Darling, are you out of balance for money given for home maintenance?
4) What is the matter??
5) Are you dreaming or am I?
6)Did you like someone’s Jewelry in the function you attended today?
7) I am already tensed up in Office and now you are sending msgs like this… do u have brain??
8) How many times did I tell you not to watch those serials ?? 😛😛😛
9) Oho..did you meet with an accident again?
10) Should I pick kids from school today also?? 😀😀😀😀
and last one who won SURPRISE GIFT, msg is……..
11) who is this sending msg from my wife’s mobile???
..
dont laugh alone pass it on.
………………….
I don’t think you will stop laughing at this one..??
A man ordered for a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error.
He got the car and started sending it on errands. He became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes.
One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired.
The man agreed and said to the car…
Car, go and bring my children from school.
The car went and didn’t return in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong.
Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive.
He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station.
As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
The car parked right in front of them and said… “These are your children sir..!”
In the car were their Landlady’s two daughters, his wife’s best friend’s daughter, his secretary’s son and their neighbour’s two sons.
The Wife said in full anger…
Don’t tell me all these are your children..??
The man asked her calmly…
First you tell me why our children are not in the car..??
Source…input from a friend of mine
Natarajan
Take off with Natarajan 