| A professional dietitian was lecturing in front of a group of people who wanted to lose weight.
“The food we eat is so bad for us, that it will still hurt our health several years down the road,” she said.
“Sugary drinks eat up the lining of our stomach, processed food is full of chemicals, meat is full of preservatives, and even our water is filled with germs. And I haven’t even gotten to fatty foods yet! Do you know which type of dessert will give you the most troubles and suffering for many years after you’ve eaten it?”
The whole group fell silent, until an 80-year-old man sitting in the back stood up and said: “A wedding cake…”
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| I’ve got no problems with fresh vegetables, steamed rice, steamed broccoli, whole grain, and low-fat yoghurts. Just keep them away while I’m eating.
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| Everyone asks me how, despite all the diets I’ve tried, I still cannot seem to lose any weight. Between you and me, I don’t want to brag, but I guess I’m just that good! This week I managed to finish my 2-week diet in three hours and 29 minutes!
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| Since I started my diet, I noticed a strange trend at work: people bring delicious food from home, put it in the fridge, and write their names on it. Today, I had to eat two Jims and one Gwen.
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| The new dieter’s 10 commandments:
1. If you eat something and no one saw it – it has no calories.
2. When you eat with someone else, the calories don’t count if they ate more.
3. Tasting someone else’s food doesn’t count.
4. If people around us gain weight, we automatically become thinner.
5. If your movie ticket comes with a free tub of popcorn, it doesn’t count as food.
6. Every food you split into smaller pieces will contain less calories.
7. Tasting food while preparing it is essential, and therefore – healthy.
8. Foods with similar colors contain the same amount of calories. This is why it’s fine to eat pistachio ice cream instead of spinach.
9. Chocolate has a dedicated area in the stomach, which is why you should have it with every meal.
10. Frozen foods, such as ice cream, contain no calories. The reason is that a calorie is a measurement of heat units.
| The reason animals don’t need to diet is that it’s hard to keep tabs on their eating habits. Imagine for a moment, what your dog’s food journal would look like:
“Dear diary, today I ate the food in my bowl, half of the cat’s food, the crust of two sandwiches that were in the sink, one tea bag from the trash, three flies, and a green rubber ball. How many calories is that?” |
Source…..www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan |
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Take off with Natarajan 
Haha, love the “commandments”!