humour

Joke of the Day… ” Ready to Go … ” !!!

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A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a ‘funeral director.’ After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers. With a smile on her face she explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’

 

Source:::: Joke a day .com

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Joke of the Day……..” Neither Do I … ” !!!

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Job Application:

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, ‘‘thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to the other applicant.”

“And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct,” asked the rejected applicant.

“We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed,” said the department manager.

“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?” the rejected applicants inquired.

”Simple,” said the department manager, ”Your fellow applicant put down on question..5, ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I.”’

Source:::: Joke a day.com

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Joke of the Day…” They Called Back … ” !!!

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One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged.
When his boss asked him what happened, he explained:

“Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang
and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!”

“Well,” the boss said, “that explains one ear, but what
about the other?” “They called back!”

Source:::: joke a day.com

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Joke of the Day…” Hit any Key … ” !!!

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New customer to Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens’.

Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens?

Customer: ‘Tried but nothing”

Tech Support: “What key did you hit?

After a moment and some chick ling sound the customer replied: Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key.

 

Source:::joke a day.com

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Laughter …The Best Medicine …” It is all Booked up for a Year … ” !!!

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A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The Farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship.

To no avail, she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a man would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and mumble a reply.

Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, “The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy’ and I would nod my head and say, ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would ask, ‘Can I borrow that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t. It’s all booked up for a year.’

Source:::ba-ba mail site

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Joke of the Day…” Not Too Bad…” !!!

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At a bar, one patron to another: “Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink.”

Why?

“You’re so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you”

 

A woman puts on a dress two sizes smaller than her large frame and thinking that she looked good she turned to her brother and asked, “How do I look in this dress?”
He said, “Not too bad.”
Smiling ever so sweetly, she then started to prance. Realizing his mistake, the brother then said, “I said you don’t look TOO bad, that doesn’t mean that you don’t still look bad.”

 

Source:::: joke a day .com

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Image of the Day…” Fox in the Bus ” !!!

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Fox takes a nap on Ottawa city bus

Aww! An employee found this fox snoozing inside an Ottawa city bus on Sunday morning, July 20.

An OC Transpo employee made the cute discovery at a bus parking garage on Industrial Avenue in Ottawa's east end on Sunday morning.

This little fox was found sleeping on one of the back seats of an Ottawa city bus Sunday morning. Cute, eh? Apparently, the bus had been parked inside a garage for maintenance, and the fox got inside through an open door. Employees of the bus company couldn’t help but snap a few pics, which have been making a big splash on Twitter this week. The transit company later confirmed the fox had left without incident, leaping out a window after a Humane Society representative and a policeman boarded the bus to get a closer look. They tweeted:

Source::: Earth sky news site

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