Just For Laugh !!!….” Check the Sugar Level Regularly ” !!!


*   I asked my wife what sort of books she’s interested in,

she said: Cheque books.

*   The easiest way to make your old car run better,
is to check the prices of new cars.

*   What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

*   Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute
and then expects your pulse to be normal.

*   Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on
the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

*   Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a  dog’s  life!

*   Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings you
into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

*   Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and
closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly…..

source::::: input from a friend of mine

natarajan

கொஞ்சம் சிரிங்க !!!

வகுப்பறை ஓரத்தில் ஓர் உயரமான பையன் நின்றிருந்தான். அவனது கவனம் படிப்பு பக்கம் இல்லை. இதைக் கவனித்த ஆசிரியர் அவனை அழைத்து கேள்விகள் கேட்டார்.
“”பானிபட்டு போர் எப்போது நடந்தது?”
“”தெரியாது சார்”
“”போரஸ் பத்தி சொல்லு”
“”எனக்குத் தெரியாது”
“”சரி, குப்தர்களில் முதல் மன்னன் யார்?”
“”தெரியாது”
“”எல்லாக் கேள்விக்கும் தெரியாது.. தெரியாதுங்கிறியே… போன வாரம்தானே பாடம் நடத்தினேன்.. அப்ப நீ எங்கே போயிருந்தே?”
“”டூர் போயிருந்தேன்”
“”வெட்கமா இல்லை உனக்கு? ஒரு கேள்விக்குக் கூட பதில் தெரியலை… டூர் போனேன்னு சொல்றியே?”
“”இந்தக் கேள்வியெல்லாம் என்கிட்ட ஏன் சார் கேக்குறீங்க? நான் இங்கிருக்கிற கரண்ட் மீட்டர் சரியா இருக்கான்னு செக் பண்ண வந்திருக்கேன்”
.
உடம்பை நல்லா பார்த்துக்கோ
வேளா வேளைக்குச் சாப்பிடு
சரியா தூங்கு
நீ ரொம்ப நாளைக்கு நல்லா இருக்கணும்
ஏன்னா…
டிஸ்கவரி சேனல்ல சொன்னாங்க….
கொரில்லா இனம் அழிஞ்சிட்டு வருதாம்.
source :::::Dinamani …Tamil Daily

natarajan

Just For Laugh !!!…” Growing Weak..Tripped and Rupeed ” !!!

Please enjoy the fun & pun.!

Growing weak , I tripped and `rupeed’
Daniel P George TNN

“I don’t make jokes,” said American humourist Will Rogers sometime in 1962. “I just watch the government and report the facts.” As the Indian government watches helplessly at the rupee hurtling down the 60s against the American dollar, Indian netizens seem to have taken a leaf out of Rogers’s book.

A science-lover posted this: It has been announced that the concept of free falling in physics will be explained using the Indian rupee as an example.

A language enthusiast added: Since the rupee is falling, let’s start using it in normal conversations like a verb. Like, “I tripped and rupeed.”

Another one thought the rupee has just become “more down to earth than necessary.”

While the rupee remained the butt of many jokes, the smarter ones couldn’t resist the temptation of linking its fall to the neighbours.

“Pakistan has stopped printing fake 500 INR notes,” said a post on a social network. “Why? Because the overheads of making the notes have increased.”

China wasn’t spared either. “I think the Chinese would leave Arunachal Pradesh alone if they knew how bad the rupee is faring.”

Someone else took a dig at RBI, saying it has replaced the rupee with onion to regain parity with the US dollar.

Another netizen prayed: Dollar on escalator; rupee on ventilator; the nation in ICU;God save India!

Not every one was lamenting— one had this desi solution to save the currency: Make the rupee tie a `rakhi’ to the dollar and say, “Meri raksha karna! Meanwhile, there was this “official
announcement” from Dalal Street that the following terms have been revised:
BSE: Bombay Se Exit,
NSE: Nation Se Exit,
F/O: Future Over,
NIFTY: No Income For This Year,
FII: Fraudulent International Investors,
HNI: Has No Idea,
PMS: Pre Mediated Scam,
SIP: Suicide by Investing Patiently,
EBITDA: Exit Before It Tumbles Down Again.

And what did the rupee have to say about all these jokes?

 

“Well, I don’t appreciate.!!!

 

source :::::: Daniel  P George in TNN

natarajan

Strange But True !!!…Reasons for Aircraft Delays !!!!!

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

An Air India flight was delayed by an hour earlier this year after the pilot, Captain Smiriti Trehan, refused to fly. Her objection was due to the fact that the original Mumbai-Jodhpur-Delhi route had been altered by the airline, cutting out the stopover in Jodhpur. Not a problem, you’d assume. However, Trehan had already arranged for some of the city’s famous onion kachoris to be delivered to her at the airport while the plane waited. Angered by her employers’ inflexibility, she declined to take charge of the flight.

 

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

Amateur aviator Larry Walters famously built a flying machine in 1982 that consisted of a patio chair with 45 helium-filled weather balloons attached to it. He took flight, reaching an altitude of 15,000ft, before floating into controlled airspace above Los Angeles International Airport, causing widespread disruption to services.

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

In a widely disputed incident at the same airport, former President Bill Clinton allegedly delayed several departures so a stylist could finish cutting his hair cut on board Air Force One.

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

An American Airlines flight from Dallas was delayed in 2012 after a flight attendant began “ranting” over the PA system that the plane had technical difficulties and was likely to crash. A colleague attempted to reassure passengers, who became understandably unnerved. The plane returned to the gate and the flight attendant was removed.

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

A Delta flight from Istanbul to New York was diverted to Dublin last year after a passenger attempted to charge their mobile phone using the shaving socket in the aircraft’s lavatory. The device was discovered by staff, who feared it was a bomb.

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

Two flights were cancelled in Australia in 2009 following scenes reminiscent of the cult movie Snakes on a Plane. A dozen Stimson’s pythons were being transported from Alice Springs to Melbourne on a Qantas flight, but when the plane landed it was discovered that four were missing. Despite an extensive search, the four creatures were never recovered.

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

In April 2011, a Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy caused delays at New York’s La Guardia Airport after it broke free as it was being loaded onto a plane. Ground staff frantically chased the dog for 20 minutes before it was captured. A similar incident involving a whippet occurred at Manchester Airport later that year, delaying a dozen flights.

 

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

A flight from Paris to Dublin was delayed for two hours after Gerard Depardieu urinated on the floor. The plane had been waiting to take-off when the portly French actor demanded to use the loo. After cabin crew refused, he decided to go on the carpet. The jet was forced to return to the gate so staff could clean up. “You could tell he’d been drinking,” one passenger claimed.

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

An easyJet flight to Geneva was delayed for an hour-an-a-half in January after it was deemed too heavy to take off. A man on board claimed he and fellow passengers stumped up £400 in cash to convince four people to disembark, allowing it to fly.

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

n 2009 a Continental flight from Houston to Columbus, Ohio, was delayed for an hour after a pair of otters escaped from the cargo hold. Passengers assumed cabin crew were joking when an announcement was made, until they saw the animals dashing across the tarmac. They were eventually captured and the plane was cleared for Tarka-off.

 

Weird reasons for aircraft delays

 

Slow-moving turtles interrupted services at JFK Airport in 2011. The animals wandered onto the runway in search of their seasonal breeding grounds, shutting runway 4L for an hour.

 

source::::: The Telegraph UK

natarajan

 

Just For Laugh !!!… ” Where is your Ferrari ” ?

Critical Thinking At Its Best.!
Hilarious –
WITHOUT PREJUDICE OR MALICE TOWARDS ANY ONE……….

Woman:
Do you drink Beer ?

Man: Yes

Woman:
How many Beers a day ?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay Per Beer ?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

(This is where it gets scary !)

Woman:
And how long have you been Drinking ?

Man:
About 20 years, I Suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be Approximately $5400 …Correct ?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for Inflation, The past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, Correct ?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much Beer, That money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, You could have now Bought a Ferrari ?

Man:
Do you drink Beer ?

Woman:
No

Man:
Where’s your Ferrari ?

(End of story in one sentence)
READ AGAIN- LAUGH AND ENJOY !!!!!

source:::: unknown…. input from a friend of mine

natarajan

Laughter…. The Best Medicine … “When the Rupee Goes Up !!!”

A journalist, who was fed up with the Indian Economy, decided to ask the views of  an Economist on Sports instead of Indian Economy.
He asked “Dear  Economist….which game do you like”.

Economist Replied  ” Cricket …ofcourse . That too when played in Indian Grounds ….”
Journalist further asked,” which part of Cricket do you like, I mean batting or bowling ?”
Our Economist  friend replied  “No, No, I LIKE THE TOSS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MATCH IN INDIA ”
Journalist was amused and asked “Why, only toss Sir”.
Economist smiled for the first time and told ” BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY TIME WHEN I SEE OUR RUPEE GOING UP”

Journalist  is not amused now …. because  he has found out his way to become an economist rather than a journalist !!!!

source ::::unknown…. input from a friend of mine …

natarajan

சிரிக்க …..சிந்திக்க !!!!….ஓடிப்போன குரங்கு கதை !!!!

மூணு பேரு சாப்ட்வேர்  கம்பனியில் வேலை செய்றவங்க ஒரு ஜூவுல மீட் பண்ணாங்க, மூணு பேரும் க்ளாஸ் மேட்ஸ்……. அப்ப ஒருத்தன் நம்மள்ல யாரு பெஸ்ட்னு ஒரு சின்ன போட்டி வெச்சுப்பார்க்கலாம்னான். மூணு பேரும் அங்க இருந்த ஒரு குரங்க சிரிக்க வெக்கிறதுன்னு முடிவாகுச்சு.

மொதல்ல என்போர்ஸ் கம்பெனி  ஆள் அவன் கம்பெனி   கல்ச்சரான “பேசியே சரிக்கட்டுற டெக்னிக்க “ஃபாலோ பண்ணி ஜோக்சா சொன்னான்…….. குரங்கு அசையவே இல்ல…….

அடுத்து  ப்ரோவிப் .கம்பெனி ஆள்  .. அவங்க “ப்ராக்டிகல் ஒரியண்டட். கோமாளி “மாதிரி சேட்டை பண்ணி காட்டுனான். சைகை காட்டுனான். ம்ஹூம்.. குரங்கு கொஞ்சம் கூட ரியாக்சன் காட்டல.

அடுத்து என்சீஎஸ்  ஆள் . குரங்கு பக்கத்துல போய் காதுல என்னமோ சொன்னான். உடனே குரங்கு பயங்கரமா சிரிக்க ஆரம்பிச்சிருச்சு.

மத்த ரெண்டு பேருக்கும் ஆச்சர்யம், இருந்தாலும் தோல்விய ஒத்துக்காம, சரி இன்னொரு ரவுண்டு வெச்சுக்கலாம். பட் இந்த வாட்டி குரங்கை அழ வைக்கனும் அப்படின்னாங்க.

மறுபடியும் மொதல்ல  என்போர்ஸ்  ஆள்  வந்து சோகமான உருக்கமான விஷயங்களா சொன்னான். குரங்கு கண்டுக்கவே இல்லை.

அடுத்து ப்ரோவிப்   ஆள்….அழுகுற மாதிரி ஆக்ட் பண்ணி காட்டுனான். அதையும் குரங்கு சட்டை பண்ணலை

என்சீஎஸ்  ஆள் , வந்து மறுபடியும் குரங்கு காதுல போய் என்னமோ சொன்னான். உடனே குரங்கு ஓன்னு அழ ஆரம்பிச்சிடுச்சு.

ரெண்டு பேருக்கும் அதிர்ச்சியா போச்சு, இதையும் ஒத்துக்காம இன்னொரு டெஸ்ட் வெக்கனும்னு முடிவு பண்ணாங்க. இந்த வாட்டி குரங்கை ஓடவைக்கனும்னு சொல்லிட்டாங்க.

வழக்கம் போல என்போர்ஸ் ஆள் முதல்ல வந்தான். குரங்க பார்த்து குரைச்சான். பயமுறுத்துனான். எந்திரிச்சி ஓடுன்னு கெஞ்சிப்பாத்தான். வழக்கம் போல குரங்குபாட்டுக்கு பேசாம உக்காந்திருச்சு.

ப்ரோவிப் ஆள்  வந்து குரங்கை புடிச்சி தள்ளிவிட்டான். வெரட்டி பார்த்தான். குரங்கு அசரவே இல்ல.

என்சீஎஸ்  ஆள்  இந்தவாட்டியும் குரங்கு காதுல போய் என்னமோ சொன்னான். அதைக் கேட்டதும் உடனே குரங்கு தலைதெறிக்க ஓடி போயிருச்சு….

கடைசியா வேறவழியில்லாம ரெண்டு பேரும் தோல்விய ஒப்புக்கிட்டாங்க. என்சீஎஸ் ஆள்  கிட்ட ,அப்படி குரங்கு காதுல என்னதான் சொன்னேன்னு கேட்டானுங்க.

அவன்  சொன்னான்…..
ஃபர்ஸ்ட் குரங்குகிட்ட நான் என்சீஎஸ்ல்   வேல செய்றேன்னு சொன்னேன், உடனே சிரிக்க ஆரம்பிச்சிடுச்சு,
அடுத்து என்னோட சம்பளத்த சொன்னேன், அது அழுதுடுச்சு.
கடைசியா என் கம்பெனிக்கு வேலைக்கு ஆள் எடுக்கதான் இங்க வந்திருக்கேன்னு சொன்னேன்…….. அது ஓடியே போய்டுச்சி……!!!!!!

source:::: unknown…..

natarajan

Just For Laugh !!!….Wife always In “Win Win ” Situation !!!

TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE!!!!!!!

1. To plant your ideas in someone else’s head.
2. To put someone else’s money in your own pocket.

 

The one who succeeds in the first one is called a TEACHER !!!

 

And the second is called a BUSINESSMAN.

 

The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE !!!!!

 

The one Fails in both is called  Husband  !!!!!!

source :::::unknown….input from my friend…

natarajan

 

Faking News !!! Rupee”s Steep Fall Make Him to Shed Tears !!!

He is always criticized for lack of expressions and emotions on his face. But finally something has hit the untouched nerve and made our Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh to let his emotions flow.

Sources claim that Dr. Singh was in tears this afternoon after Rupee fell below 64 against US Dollar and Sensex crashed by over 700 points.

Manmohan Singh Crying

Manmohan Singh, wiping off a tear.

“It wasn’t less than a cosmic event. From what I know, he was 4 years old last time he cried. It’s 76 years since then. We can easily draw analogy with visibility of Halley’s Comet from Earth which normally happens in every 75–76 years,” a PMO source told Faking News.

The incident has shaken everyone as experts rushed in to interpret its meaning.

“These kind of emotional outbursts happen with people who are supposed to take care of something but they fail at the task. Remember, Sheila Dikshit was in tears after Delhi gangrape case,” one expert claimed.

However, news organizations were not happy with such simplistic explanations and they asked the experts to link PM’s tears with Narendra Modi. Experts were trying when reports last came in.

The closest someone could reach a political interpretation of the tears was our Faking News correspondent, who termed PM’s tears as a sign of revolt.

“Crying or being upset is the prerogative of Congress President Sonia Gandhi. Prime Minister has started doing things without consulting the high-command,” our correspondent concluded!!!!

source :::::Faking News From Firstpost

natarajan