One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?”
The assistant says, ”$2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”
”What about the green one?” the man asks.
The assistant says, ”He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.”
”What about the red one?” the man asks.
The assistant says, ”That one’s $10,000.”
The man says, ”What does HE do?”
The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”
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To surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, “And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”
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Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”.
First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.
Bill chooses Hell.
About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.
Bill says to St. Peter, “What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?”
St. Peter replies, “That was just the screen saver.”
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Manager: Do you know anything about this fax-machine?
Staff: A little. What’s wrong sir?
Manager: Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.
Staff: How did you load the sheet?
Manager: I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it.
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