Joke of the day….

An old man was tired from riding his bike, and decided to hitch hike. A guy in his red Corvette pulled up to give him a lift. When the old man brought out his bike that he had leaned up against a tree, the driver said, “I have no room for your bike in my car, but I’d like to help you in someway seeing you standing here in the hot sun.” After a few seconds of thought, the driver said, “I know what we can do. I have a rope behind my seat. I’ll tie one end of it to the rear end of my car and the other end to the front your bike. You ride your bike, and I’ll give you this whistle. If I go too fast for you, just blow your whistle and I’ll slow down.” The old guy agreed to it. So off he went down the highway with the old man and his bike in tow. A little ways down the rode, a young lady in a bright yellow corvette pulls up next to them. She gives the guy in the red Vette the High Sign, meaning “you want a drag?” Off they go down the highway, 100 plus MPH, the old man blowing his whistle like crazy. They zipped by a Highway Patrol cop sitting under a tree. The cop knew he couldn’t catch them, so he called ahead to his fellow cop down the rode to intercept. “Car number 2, this is car number 1.” “Go head number 1, what’cha got for me?” I got a red and yellow Vettes come down your way doing hundred plus, can you intercept?” “Ten-four, Is there anything else?” “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe this, but there is an old guy riding a bicycle blowing his whistle trying to pass.”

Source:::: joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They’re up in heaven, and God’s sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. “Al, what do you believe in?”

Al replies, “Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more Freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we’ll all die.” God thinks for a second and says, “Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left.”

God then addresses Bill Clinton: “Bill, what do you believe in?”

Bill Clinton replies, “Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people’s pain.”

God thinks for a second and says, “Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right.”

God then addresses Bill Gates: “Bill Gates, what do you believe in?”

Bill Gates says, “I believe you’re in my chair.”

Source:::joke a day.com

Natarajan

Laughter the Best Medicine…” I haven’t added yet …”

An Honest Opinion…

Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.

After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asks her husband – “Darling, honestly, if you didn’t know me, what age would you say I am?”

Looking over her carefully, Andy replied,…

“Judging from your skin, twenty;

your hair, eighteen;

and your figure, twenty five.”

“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying: “WHOA, hold on there sweety…

I haven’t added them up yet!”

 

Source:::::ba-ba mail site

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…”I Won one hundred Races…”

Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says “You know…. when I was a young racehorse…from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds…. I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever lived….blah blah blah…”
In response to this and approximately a half an hour later the second racehorse responded, “Oh yeah…when I was a young racehorse…from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 95 races, got 2 seconds and 3 thirds…. I am the greatest racehorse that ever lived…. blah blah blah…”
Now it was about this time that the bartender (a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said, “I am sick of you two telling one another how great you are, you are both drunk and I am throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you know that when I was a young greyhound, from one hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds and no thirds.”
The two racehorses were shocked and for 5 minutes sat with their mouths open until the fist racehorse finally said, “Isn’t that amazing (hic)…a talking greyhound!”

Source:::: joke a day.com

Natarajan

” Wedding in Washington…”

 

A golden wedding anniversary had passed silently by and nobody noticed. I allude to that of Rukmini and Rajagopalan, which took place, as I see from the invitation card, on April 29, 1963.

A golden wedding anniversary had passed silently by and nobody noticed. I allude to that of Rukmini and Rajagopalan, which took place, as I see from the invitation card, on April 29, 1963. I am assuming that the couple had a happy married life and were still around to celebrate the 50 anniversary of tying the knot.

What is all this you ask. And what is so unusual about a Tambrahm wedding that happened 51 years ago? Well, in the first place, it took place in Washington, a rather unusual location for those times. And secondly, considering that it took place in an era when media was in its infancy and the Internet was something that the army used, thousands of Tamils followed the build up to the actual event with bated breath all across the world.

Those belonging to that era would have caught my drift. Those who came in later will need explanatory notes and here they are – it was in 1963 that the well-known Tamil writer, humourist and editor of the magazine Dinamani Kadir, Sa Viswanathan (Saavi) embarked on his entirely fictitious account of a Tambrahm wedding in Washington, courtesy the wealthy Mrs. Rockefeller.

The plot in brief is like this – the well-to-do Hopes family based out of New York is extremely close to the Murthy family, whose head works for the UNESCO. From Vasantha, the Murthy daughter, Loretta, the Hopes child, hears about the wonders of India. When Vasantha gets married in Thanjavur, the Hopes come down and participate in a full-length wedding.

Back in the US, the Hopes brief Mrs Rockefeller about the wondrous Tambrahm wedding and she is keen to see one; not by herself but in the company of all her family and friends. She therefore, using the good offices of Murthy, selects a South Indian couple who are to be married in Madras, to come over the US. They are of course accompanied by their respective clans, an assortment of cooks, priests, musicians (Ariyakkudi, Lalgudi and Palghat Mani Iyer) and nagaswaram artistes, countless other service providers and above all, a battalion of Mamis who are brought in to make appalams.

What follows is a grand wedding at R Street, Washington DC. Wielding a facile pen, Saavi created a hilarious account of how a Brahmin wedding is organised, contrasting it with the wonderment of the Americans. As you read it, you also get the feeling that Saavi was laughing at us. The story when serialised, was accompanied by the sketches of veteran Gopulu, making for a big hit. Alliance Publishers later released it as a book, which is still in print.

Washingtonil Tirumanam became a successful play, staged by every sabha in the city. Making his theatrical debut in it was Poornam Viswanathan. The highlight was the audience participating in the traditional procession accompanying the bridegroom, conducted every evening around the venue.

51 years later, Washingtonil Tirumanam remains evergreen – a testimony to Saavi, and our weddings that keep getting bigger.

Joke of the Day…” Yes sir… It is Me…” !!!

Strolling into a bank, the moron presented a check and asked the teller to cash it. The teller informed the woman that she must first identify herself. Pulling a mirror from a purse the woman looked in it and said, “Yes sir-it’s me, all right.”

And how is your customer service”? Asked a skeptical customer to the used car dealer.
“Oh, that’s first class. Anybody who buys a car from us gets a free copy of the latest railroad train schedule !!!!

A man went to a bank and gave them 60 000$ worth of bonds to hold for him and he asked to take out a loan of 1$. The next year he came back to the bank to get his bonds and the accountant asked him “If you have all that money in bonds, why did you need to borrow 1$.” The man replied, “Do you know any other way I can use a safety deposit box for only 7 cents a year?”

Source::::: joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…!!!

The Real Meaning of Hotel slogans!!!

Old world charm …………………………… No bath
Options galore …………………………….. Nothing is included in the itinerary
No extra fees ………………………………. No extras
Nominal fee ………………………………… Outrageous charge
Standard ……………………………………. Sub-standard
Deluxe ………………………………………. Standard
Superior …………………………………….. One free shower cap
Cozy …………………………………………. Small
All the amenities ………………………….. Two free shower caps
Plush ………………………………………… Top and bottom sheets

Source::::joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.”

To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will five times!

 

source::::joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” I am paying as little as i can … ” !!!

The teacher says, “I wish you’d pay a little attention Mary.”
“I am paying as little as I can Mrs. Bell,” said Mary.

History Teacher: “Why was George Washington standing in the bow of the boat as the army crossed the Delaware?”
Student: “Because he knew if he sat down, he would have to row.”

A rather strict English teacher also had the responsibility of teaching “homemaking,” as home economics used to be called. The teacher noticed a student carefully applying lipstick and powder, rather than doing her home ec lesson.
“Jenny,” said the teacher, “you pay more attention to your makeup than you do to your homemaking lessons.”
“Well, said Jenny, “before I can home make, I have to catch someone with whom.”

Source :::: joke a day.com

Natarajan