Quotes with a Touch of Humour !!!!

source::::unknown…input from a friend of mine..

natarajan

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
– Norman Wisdom

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.*”
Edgar Watson Howe
*
“*A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your
success!*”
Doug Larson
*
“*A harmful truth is always better then..a useful lie!*”
Eric Bolton
*
“*We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to
walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.*”
Phyllis Diller
*
“*Laughter is the closest distance between two people.*”
Victor Borge
*
“*Start every day with a smile and get it over with.*”
W.C. Fields
*
“*Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.*”
* *Will Rogers
*
“*Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work
out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney
*

*
“*Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn’t.*”
Erica Jong
*
“*Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out of it alive.*”
Elbert Hubbard
*
“*Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.*
*Wendell Johnson

Message For The Day….Call HIM with Love…

Repetition of God’s Name is the process by which the dedicatory attitude can be cultivated and grown. When confronted by a calamity, you must attach yourself to this spiritual practice, even more firmly, instead of losing faith in it and getting slack. Do not give up the medicine, when you need it the most! The pity is that when most people face the first disappointment, they lose courage and confidence, and give up their Lord! There are also others, who call out the Names of the Lord, when they are displeased with some happenings, or when they are depressed, in a tone indicative of disgust, uttering it with a sigh or a groan. This is very incorrect. The Name of the Lord must always be pronounced with joy, gratitude, exultation and remembering Him in all splendour. Call Him with Love, call Him with a heart full of sincere yearning.

source:::::: Divine Discourse message from Swami Satya Sai…
Natarajan

Richard Branson to Serve as Stewardess of Air Asia !!!!!

British billionaire Richard Branson will finally wear a red skirt and serve as a stewardess on Malaysian budget carrier AirAsia in May after losing a Grand Prix bet with the founder of the airline.

Virgin boss Branson and AirAsia chief executive Tony Fernandes had agreed in 2010 that whichever of their teams (then Virgin and Lotus) finished lower in the constructors’ championship in their debut season, the losing owner would serve on the other’s airline.

Branson lost as Lotus finished 10th and Virgin 12th, but the trip was postponed in early 2011 after he injured himself while skiing.

Fernandes said Branson had contacted him to honour his bet.

‘He will be an Airasia stewardess in May on Airasia. 2 years late but main point he hasn’t forgotten,’ Fernandes tweeted.

Fernandes had previously said that Branson would strut down the aisle to offer coffee, tea or other food and beverages to guests on a special 13-hour Kuala Lumpur to London flight.

The tickets for the flight would be auctioned off for charity.

source:::::Bigpond NEWS….Australia
Natarajan

Message For the Day…Anger Hurts Oneself Than Others….

Scriptural Philosophy

Om Sri Gurubhyo Namaha

“When we attack others in anger, we are hurt more than those we wanted to hurt.”

– Sri Maha Periyavaa

___________________________________________

Adjunct Philosophy

Anger hurts oneself more than others. Solitude and silence subdue anger.

source>>>>Mahaperivaa proboards.org
Natarajan

Humour In Life with Wife !!!!

source::::input from a friend of mine…. nice stuff to read and laugh ….and share too …

Natarajan

Husband texts to wife on cell..
“Hi, what r u doing Darling?”
Wife: I’m dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?”
Wife: “U idiot! I’m dying my hair..”
Husband: “Bloody English Language!

Angry wife to her husband

An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:
“Where d Hell Are You …?”
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn’t Have Money That Time n I said “Baby It’ll Be Yours 1 Day … “O:)
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!
Husband: I‘m in the Pub Just Next To That Shop

A Special Package for Business Men.

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife’s Ticket Free.
After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply…”Which Trip?”

An intelligent wife

”An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much
That Her Husband Can’t Afford Another Woman”

New SIM to surprise her husband

Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: “Hello Darling”
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: “Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen ..

His funeral is tomorrow !!!!!!!!!

Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa’s wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I’m changing d battery of my camera..

Part & Art of living

Having “WIFE” Is A Part Of Living…
But Having “GIRLFRIEND” Along With The “WIFE” Is Art Of Living .

Head & Neck of the family

It is said that Husband is the head of the family, but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants.

Too late for garbage

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck :
Am I Too Late For The Garbage ?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

What if you don’t see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
“how would you feel if you don’t see me for two days?”
The man couldn’t believe his luck: ‘that would be great’!
Monday passed and he didn’t see her……
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too…..
On Thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

Nice Little Hopes Keep All of us Active !!!!!

source::::input from a friend of mine …. nice one to read and share…

Natarajan

NICE LITTLE BELIEFS.

1.Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella.
THAT’S FAITH!

. . . . .

2. When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.
THAT’S TRUST!

. . . . .

3.Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next
Morning but still we set the alarms to wake us up.
THAT’S HOPE!

. . . . .

4. We plan big things for tomorrow inspite of zero knowledge of the future.
THAT’S CONFIDENCE!

. . . . .

5. We see the world suffering.
But still we get married?
THAT’S OVER CONFIDENCE!!

Learn From Singapore !!!!!

source:::::: T.N. Ninan iN Business Standard…
Natarajan

A friend with a business base in Singapore once got a call from the island-state’s tax authorities; they wanted to pay him a visit. Being an Indian, he was naturally alarmed at the prospect, so he got his assistant to say he was not in the office. The next day the call came again; among the thoughts that now crossed his mind was to catch the first flight out of Singapore, for fear of the local taxman. It eventually turned out to be a taxwoman, smartly dressed in a business suit and armed with a briefcase. After the initial introductions, they sat down and the lady told the businessman that the Singapore tax authorities were very happy with his record as a corporate citizen who paid his taxes. She had come to express the tax department’s appreciation. She then snapped open her briefcase, pulled out a Montblanc pen, reached across and offered it to the businessman as a gift from the tax authorities. “I could have fainted,” he recalled. She also left behind her business card; “Call me if you have any problems on taxes,” she said as a parting word !!!!

Silence is Self-Experience!!!!!

source:::::unknown…. input from my friend….

Natarajan

Speech needs company;
silence needs solitude

Speech wants to conquer others;
silence helps conquer oneself

Speech demands respect,
silence commands it

Speech is self -expression;
silence is self-experience

Speech is mind bound,
silence is soul bound

Speech asserts ego;
silence effaces it

Speech dissipates ego;
silence conserves it

Speech is human;
silence is divine

Speech receives appreciation;
silence receives adoration

Great works are inspired by speech
but written in silence

Life is a flower;
silence is its fragrance

We surround ourselves with noise,
because we are uncomfortable with silence.

We fill our lives with distractions,
because we are reluctant to confront

Facebook Facts …Most of Us Do not Know !!!!!

With 900 million active users Facebook is a social storm today racing across continents, countries, colonies and even through small territories and hamlets. In today’s world of digital technology you may come across a person without a shirt but it’s hard to find one without a Facebook account. There was a similar situation once when a person without an Email Id was laughed at and today it is the same with the one who doesn’t hold a Facebook user Id.

According to socialbakers.com,United States Of America,with about 157 million users,tops the overall list of Facebook users followed by India with 45.9 million users, Brazil with 45.3 million users, Indonesia with 42.4 million users and Mexico with 32.9 million Facebook users. It may sound unbelievable but it’s a fact the critics around the world are cribbing about.

There are also many skeptics who disagree but for some of it’s users Facebook is an addiction, for some it’s a useful business promotion tool and for many it’s a perfect antidote to their existential loneliness.

In the given scenario it’s not only difficult to imagine our world without Facebook, but it’s also difficult to imagine our living without Facebook..

Firstly..

Here Are Some Popular Facebook Facts Most Of Us Know

>The popular social networking site Facebook Inc derived its name from Facebook, a directory that is found in American Universities. This directory is like a reference book for many and consists of photographs of the staff, faculty and students with their brief bio data mentioned in it.

Mark Zuckerberg Having Fun With His Harvard Friends
>In 2003 five students of Harvard University Mark Zuckerberg, Edurado Saverin, Dustin Moskovitz, Andrew McCollum and Chris Hughes created a website called Facemash. Mark Zuckerberg, fondly called “Zuck” by his other friends, was a second year student in the university and wrote the software for this website. Later after many twists and turns and ups and downs the same crazy five gang created a social networking revolution website that is popularly known as Facebook today.

>Before opening Facebook it was planned by the team to open a social networking site for high school students called facebookhigh.com. But this idea bombed very badly..

>Originally Facebook was known as thefacebook.com but later Mark Zuckerberg purchased the domain name facebook.com for $2,00,000..

Here Are Some Amazing Facebook Facts Most Of Us Do Not Know

>When Facebook introduced the “News Feed” feature the first reaction it received was “Turn this shit off”

>The average age of a Facebook employee today is thirty one..

>As the CEO of Facebook ”Zuck” enjoys sixty percent of voting power in Facebook today..

>The engineers at the Facebook initially wanted to name the “Like” button “Awesome”

>Initially Facebook bosses decided to name it’s ad product “AdSeeds” in line with Google’s AdSense but for some unknown reasons they later dropped this idea.

>When Facebook was going through a desperate situation in 2004, Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple Inc saved today’s world number one social networking site by offering it a lucrative ad deal..

Dignitaries Waiting For Steve Jobs At WWDC,2008
The Worldwide Developers Conference is a conference held every year by Apple Inc in California. Steve Jobs wanted Facebook to present it’s new iPhone application at the 2008 WWDC. Steve expected Mark to do the presentation but instead Mark has sent a marketing manager and an engineer to do the job.Upset with their bad audition Steve Jobs had to cancel the presentation that year.

>In 2005,many of the employees and Mark Zuckerberg’ colleagues at Facebook strongly felt that “Zuck” should be replaced by a better person as their CEO. It is then that he took some serious ” CEO lessons ” from an authority on the topic.

>A Taiwanese guy by name Steve Chen worked for a few weeks with Facebook in 2005 and left it as he wanted to start something of his own. But that time this guy never knew that his decision will create a technological revolution in the digital age. This 27 year old ex PayPal employee joined hands with his other PayPal colleagues Chad Hurley and Jawed Karim and founded the path breaking site that is more popularly known as You Tube today.

>In 2006 Mark Zuckerberg was very impressed with a funny guy called Chris Putnam and hired him for a crucial position in Facebook. Wanna know what this guy did.. ?? He was such a genius, he hacked Facebook site and created thousands of profiles that were meant to look like MySpace profiles. Instead of getting upset with this whiz kid’s misdeed “Zuck” hired him.

>But, quite surprisingly, the current employees of Facebook feel that their CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s best talent lies not in hiring people but in firing people.

>Some time ago, Steve Ballmer, the current C E O of Microsoft who ranks nineteenth in the Forbes 400 list today, wanted to buy Facebook outright but remained contented by investing $240 million when his offer to buy Facebook was rejected by Mark Zuckerberg and team.

>In 2006 Mark Zuckerberg opened Facebook to workplace networks but surprisingly nobody in USA noticed it. That time Yahoo came up with an offer of $1.4 billion to buy Facebook. “Zuck” was initially tempted to accept the billion dollar deal but could somehow overcome his temptation and finally rejected the offer. Though Business Week termed this rejection as one of the “biggest failed mergers” in the history, it still made Mark Zuckerberg a man worth of twenty four billion dollars today.

>Since they hold rights to some social networking patent, Reid Hoffman, the founder of LimkedIn and Mark Pincus, founder of Zynga own a reasonable stake in Facebook today.

>Very few people know that a Russian holding firm, DST holds a great stock in Facebook. It is so because Peter Thiel of Angel Investor, Facebook’s first outside investor, sold half of his stock in 2009 to this Russian holding firm.

>Apple Inc’s veteran Bud Colligan, former Yahoo Inc executive Ellen Siminoff and former Open Table CEO Jeff Jordan were all interviewed for the post of Chief Operations Officer of Facebook in 2007. But it was finally bagged by Sheryl Sandberg who was formerly vice president of Global Online Operations and Sales at Google Inc. Mark Zuckerberg was very much impressed with this lady when he first met her in a 2007 Christmas party hosted by Dan Rosensweig who was then the chief operating officer (COO) of Yahoo Inc. Sheryl is one of the active directors on the Facebook board today. Period.

>Accel partner Jim Breyer invested $12.7 million in Facebook in 2005. After this investment from Jim Breyer, the initial founders of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, Sean Parker and Dustin Moscovitz took a million dollar bonus each.

>Exactly one day after taking the one million dollar bonus, Mark Zuckerberg went to a gas station where a crazy guy, with a pistol in his hand, jumped over him and tried to cause some serious damage. Screaming loudly a fully terrified Zuck jumped into his SUV and zoomed off.

>After being arrested on cocaine related charges in North Carolina, Sean Parker, the co-founder and the then president of Facebook was sent out by Accel Partners who were the principal share holders in Facebook those days.

>With an estimated value of $18.7 million there is also an Indian share holder in Facebook by name Divya Narendra. Though he holds only .022 percent stake in Facebook today, he is already worth the above mentioned figure with that miniature stake. On some copyright issue he waged a prolonged legal battle with Facebook which, as he claims, helped him pursue a career in jurisprudence.

Mark Zuckerberg Kissing His Future Wife Wife Priscilla Chan In Front Of Oprah Winfrey Camera Crew In 2010
>Mark Zuckerberg met his future wife Priscilla Chan, a Chinese, in Harvard University. Before their marriage they lived together in a sparsely furnished rented home in Palo Alto, California. In 2010, when Oprah Winfrey decided to do a talk show with Zuck he allowed her entire crew with cameras into his house. Mark Zuckerberg kissed his then girl friend Priscilla Chan in front of all the giggling crew that day. That time he revealed to the crew that he practices Chinese language every morning at the kitchen table as part of his preparation for his future Honeymoon in China. Period.

>Initially Mark Zuckerberg was not in favor of adding photo sharing feature to Facebook but Sean Parker convinced “Zuck” about it and photo sharing is the most popular feature on Facebook today. Cartoon Cat was the first photo uploaded to Facebook followed by photos of socializing girls.

>Caterina Fake, the co founder of Flickr and Hunch could not open a Facebook account because of the word “Fake” in her last name. Facebook thought it’s a fake name and refused to allow her to create an account.

>Currently there is an official “Facebook Phone” in Asia.

>There was a redesign of Facebook in 2008 that made every digital giant in the Silicon Valley unhappy. In a protest Dell CEO Michael Dell too joined a group called “Petition Against New Facebook”. Period

>Facebook can never come to any understanding with Google anytime in future for any form of acquisition or for any other business understanding since Microsoft, a major partner in Facebook since 2007, will not allow it’s arch rival Google to have any say whatsoever in any of the affairs of Facebook. It’s an irrevocable unwritten understanding between Facebook and Microsoft with which Google shall forever be unhappy. In an effort to break the supremacy of Facebook in social network market Google created Google+ and you all know how it is faring today.

>Finally, according to Facebook’s co-founder Dustin Moscovitz, Facebook is planning to come up with an ad network in future just on the lines of their revolutionary social networking site called facebook.com

Conclusion

According to a recent study (July,2012) conducted by the The University Of Wisconsin School Of Medicine And Public Health, Facebook, as is believed by many, doesn’t cause depression. The study further suggests that it is unnecessarily alarming to advise the parents or patients about the risk of “Facebook Depression” which, many critics feel, is caused by the excessive usage of this popular social networking site. The study also found that 70% of Facebook users today are adolescents..

source::::
Narrenaditya in amazing truelife stories.com

Natarajan

Forget the Past and Move on …..

A Wiseman once sat in the audience and cracked a joke. Audience laughed like crazy. After a moment, he cracked the same joke again…This

time , little less people laughed!!!

He cracked the same joke once again !!!!….Now , no one laughed !!!!

Then , he smiled and said ” when you can”t laugh on the same joke again and again , then why do you keep crying over the samething over and over again !!!”

He added , ” worrying is like sitting in Rocking Chair….you keep on rocking …but it takes you nowhere !!!!. Forget the past and keep moving !!! ”

source ::::::unknown…input from one of my friends…..

Natarajan