Go to CHURCH…

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to
get ready for church, to which he replied, “I’m not going.”
“Why not?” she asked.
I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “(1), they don’t like me, and (2), I don’t like them.”
His mother replied, “I’ll give you two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church:
(1) You’re 59 years old, and (2) you’re the pastor!”
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The Usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church.
The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
“Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.
“The front row, please,” she answered.
“You really don’t want to do that,” the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”
“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.
“No,” he said.
“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
“No,” she said.
“Good,” he answered.
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The Best Way To Pray

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer,
while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
“Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest said.
“No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with my hands
outstretched to Heaven.”
“You’re both wrong,” the guru said. “The most effective prayer position
is lying down on the floor.”
The repairman could contain himself no longer.
“Hey, fellas,” he interrupted.
“The best prayin’ I ever did was when I was hangin’ upside down from a
telephone pole.”
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The Twenty and the One

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill
arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired.
As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.
The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.
“I’ve had a pretty good life,” the twenty proclaimed.
“Why I’ve been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City , the finest restaurants ln New York , performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean .”
“Wow!” said the one-dollar bill. “You’ve really had an exciting life!”
“So, tell me,” says the twenty, “where have you been throughout your lifetime?”
The one dollar bill replies, “Oh, I’ve been to the Methodist Church , the Baptist Church,
the Lutheran Church .”
The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, “What’s a church?”
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SOURCE:::::input from a friend of mine..

Natarajan