humour

Jokes for the Day…

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Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.

…………..

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.

:::::::::::

Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem:
__________________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
__________________________________________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
__________________________________________
__________________________________________

4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__

5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__

6. Is your computer plugged in?
Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on?
Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse?
Yes__

10. Have you read the manual?
Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you’ve read the manual?
Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you’ve read the manual?
No__

13. Do you think you understood it?
Yes__ No__

14. If `Yes’ then why can’t you fix the problem yourself? __________________________________________

15. How tall are you? Are you above this line?
__________________________________________

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
__________________________________________

17. If “nothing” explain why you were logged in.
__________________________________________

18. Are you sure you aren’t imagining the problem?
Yes__ No__

19. How does this problem make you feel?
__________________________________________

20. Tell me about your childhood.
__________________________________________

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes__ No__

22. Can’t you do something else, instead of bothering me?
Yes__

Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form. Please allow 1-week response time so that the problem will resolve its self or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue.

Source:::::Joke a day.com

Natarajan

Just For Laugh @ Weekend !!!

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Hope

Wife: “What are you doing?”
Husband: “Nothing.”
Wife: “What do you mean nothing? You’ve been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!”
Husband: “Yea, I’m checking the expiry  date.”

Neighbors

“The new neighbors are so in love,” remarks Susan to her husband, “he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don’t you do that?”
“Because I don’t know her that well.”

Donations

Knock on the door.
“Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?”
“Yes, actually.” Beams the old man.
“Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!”

Shopping

An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewelery store.
The wife turns to her husband with a smile:
“Love, would you buy me a chain?”
“Why?” Asks the husband, “Tired of being free?”

Qualities

A woman asks her husband:
“What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?”
The husband gives her a long, appreciating look.
“Your sense of humor.”

 

Source::::: ba-ba mail site

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” wasn’t i married to you once ” … ? !!!

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While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale

made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground

controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: “US Air 2771, where the hell are you

going! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there.

I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between ‘C’ and ‘D’, but get it right!” Continuing

her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: “God! Now you’ve screwed everything up! It’ll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don’t move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?” “Yes ma’am,” the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out in Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: “Wasn’t I married to you once?”

SOURCE::: joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day….” This Time You are doing fine … ” !!!

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The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm.
“This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor. “Yes,” the novice driver agreed.
“Now when I see another car , i close my eyes  !!!

 

Source::::Joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” Where did i come from ” ?

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“Dad, where did I come from?” asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than a few days too late, so, for the next two hours he explained every thing to his son. When he got finished, he asked his son what prompted his question to which his son replied, “I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from…

SOURCE:::: joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” Where is My Sunday Paper …? “

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“WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!”


The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

“Madam,” said the newspaper employee, “today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY!”

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, …..

“Well, damn, that explains why no one was at church either.”

 Source::: Input from a friend of mine

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…”Take a clean Plate …” !!!

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Two bachelors, Larry and Frank were out to dinner. The conversation drifted from office, sports to politics and then to cooking. “I got a cook book once” said Larry. “But I couldn’t do anything with it.” “Too much fancy stuff in it, huh?” asked Frank. “You said it, Larry replied, nodding. “Every one of those recipes began the same way: “Take a clean plate…”

……………………………

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: “Do you like potato pancakes?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”

SOURCE::: Joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day… ” What comes First ? …Day or Night …”

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There was a student who was desirous of taking admission for a study course.

He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy.

“Tell me your choice;” said he to the boy, “What’s your choice: I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind.”

The boy thought for a while and said, “My choice is ONE real difficult question.”

“Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!” said the man on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: “It’s the DAY, sir.”

“How???????” the interviewer was smiling (“At last, I got you!” he said to himself.)

“Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

Admission for the course was thus secured.

 

Source::::Joke a day.com

Natarajan