” Nano Trying To Overtake BMW and Porsche …”!!!

A Nano breaks down on a roadside.


A BMW 750 stops to help the driver.
“I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please
flash your lights”

They start up slowly but a only a km or so down the line a Porsche speeds
past 150km an hour.

The BMW driver forgets about the nano & guns it after the Porsche.

Just as all 3 of them tear through a speed trap the cop radios the HQ:
“You won’t believe I have seen a BMW & a Porsche racing past 170 km an hour
with a Nano behind them flashing its lights to overtake “–  

source >>>>unknown… input from a friend of mine
natarajan

“விடை காண முடியாத கேள்வி ” …


கும்பகோணத்தில் மடம் இருந்தபோது, ஒருநாள் பெரியவா ப்ரும்மசூத்ர பாஷ்ய பாடம் சொல்லிக்கொண்டிருந்தார்.

ஒரு வித்வான் ஏதோ சந்தேகம் கேட்கவும், பெரியவா “பாமதி” யிலோ, “பரிமளத்தி”லோ இதுக்கு விஸ்தாரமா பதில் இருக்கு. அத படிச்சா போறும்………மடத்து லைப்ரரில அந்த புஸ்தகம் இருக்கா பாக்கலாம்” என்றார்.

லைப்ரரி பொறுப்பாளர், அதை யாரோ வித்வான் எடுத்துக்கொண்டு போயிருப்பதாக சொன்னார்.

அதே சமயம் தெருக்கோடியில் பேரீச்சம்பழக்காரன் குரல் கேட்டது.

“பழைய புஸ்தகத்தை போட்டுட்டு செலபேர் பேரீச்சம்பழம் வாங்கியிருப்பா……..ஒடனே போய் அவன்ட்ட இருக்கற அத்தனை புஸ்தகங்களையும் வெலைக்கு வாங்கிண்டு வா” என்று ஒரு தொண்டரை அனுப்பினார்.

ஒரு கட்டு புஸ்தகத்தோடு அவர் வந்தார். எல்லாம் அபூர்வமான சம்ஸ்க்ருத புஸ்தகங்கள்! பழுப்பேறின காகிதம்!

“சாஸ்த்ரிகளே! என்னென்ன புஸ்தகம் இருக்குன்னு பாருங்கோ!”

வரிசையாக படித்துக்கொண்டே வந்தார். ……….”பாமதி”யும், “பரிமள”மும் ” அதில் இருந்தன!

பாஷ்ய பாடம் நடக்கும் போது பேரீச்சம்பழக்காரன் வருவானேன்? இல்லாத புஸ்தகங்கள் விலைக்கு வாங்கின புஸ்தகங்கள் நடுவில் இருப்பானேன்?

விடை காண முடியாத கேள்வி!

source::::www.periva proboards.com

natarajan
Read more: http://periva.proboards.com/thread/6347/#ixzz2rMpXNFlB

” You Forgot Our Enmity and Came Home …” !!!

Enmity developed between two close relatives in a village on account of claims over property. The bitterness led to a case in the court. There was not the barest exchange of a civil word between the two. The defendant’s son was to be married. He brought the invitation and placed it before Periyaval.

Periyaval looked at the attendant nearby and said, “Ask him if he will visit all his relatives and invite them?”

“Yes…we will visit all the relatives to invite them…”

After a minute’s pause, Periyaval said, “Ask him if he will visit the plaintiff also”.

The gentleman hesitated for a while. “I thought that if I went there and was insulted, it would be very hurting”.

“No such thing will happen. Give him the invitation in person and tell him that he must attend the wedding”.

The defendant went to the complainant’s house in trepidation. he recalled Periyaval’s words. “It is not in our culture to disrespect visitors. Everyone is essentially good’.

The complainant never dreamt that his sworn enemy would visit him in his house. When he saw the defendant, he hugged him to his bosom.

“Welcome, welcome”, he said happily and accepted the invitation. “You forgot our enmity and came home to invite me! I shall certainly come to participate in the celebrations”, he assured his relative.

The gentleman who had gone to give the invitation had a sudden change of heart. “Such a good man’, he thought. “Why did I develop such enmity for him?”

“Brother”, he said, “Let us forget about the case and the courts. Let us settle the matter amicably”.

The two gentleman raised their hands in salutation in Periyaval’s direction.

source:::www.periva.proboards.com

natarajan
Read more: http://periva.proboards.com/thread/1162/enmity-desolved?ixzz2rEiZtYBa=undefined#ixzz2rMmXzJLP

Joke For the Day… Lost in Hot Air Baloon !!!

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the man, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”

The man below responded, “You must be a manager.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “how did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”   

 

source::::joke a day .com

natarajan

Message For the Day… ” Be Aware of Pitfalls and Develop Good Conduct “…

In this world, you must perform both great deeds and good deeds. The vagaries of modern life are rather mysterious and beyond understanding. They are called ‘Dushta Chathushtayam or Akara Chatushtayam’ (Evil Quartet) which comprise of: Lack of faith (Avishwasam), doubt (Anumanam), jealousy (Asuya) and ego (Ahamkaram). Lack of good character makes one develop bad thinking. Lack of faith leads to doubt. Today, many people are ready to trust a stranger on the street but refuse to believe the scriptures and noble commandments of great saints or their own parents. They do not believe even in the words of those that love and care for them. Be aware of these pitfalls and develop good conduct. For good conduct, truth and righteousness are essential. Undertake meritorious deeds with noble motives and immerse yourself in the feeling of love.   

Sathya Sai Baba

 

Jokes For the Weekend …. ” Windows Frozen …” !!!

SHORT &  SIMPLE:
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.”
Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer really screwed up now.”
………………..
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…. Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”
The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer.

………………..
Quick Wit:
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But officer.” the man began, “I can explain,”.
“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back…”
“But officer, I just wanted to say….”
“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

………………….

source::::: joke a day .com
natarajan

Joke of The Day… “Do you Have A Driving Licence ? ” !!!

A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway; the officer came to the driver’s window and said, “Sir, may I see your driver’s license and registration?” The man said, “Well officer I don’t have a license, it was taken away for a DUI.” The officer, in surprise, said,” What, do you have a registration for the vehicle?” So the man replied, “No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am pretty sure I say a registration card in the glove box when I put the gun in it.” The officer stepped back, “There is a gun in the glove box?!?” The man sighed and said, “Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car before I stuffed her in the trunk.” The officer steps toward the back of the car and says,” Sir do not move, I am calling for backup.” The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway patrolman arrives. He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his driver’s license and registration. The man said,” Yes officer here it right here.” It all checked out so the officer said,” Is there a gun in the glove box sir?” The man laughs and says,” No officer why would there be a gun in the glove box.” He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no gun. The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to believe that there was a body in it. The man agrees and opens the trunk, no dead body. The second officer says, “Sir I do not understand, the officer that pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk.” The man looks the officer in the eyes and says, “Yeah and I’ll bet he said I was speeding too.”   

source::::joke a day .com

natarajan

 

Joke For The Day … ” Not only a Can Of Peaches , But also A Can of Peas…” !!!

” > > The concerned husband:
> >
> > A cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery
> > store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager
> > to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her
> > away, complaining and criticizing throughout the process.
> >
> >
> > When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she
> > had stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied,
> > “Just a stupid can of peaches.”
> >
> > The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied,
> > “I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the
> > store.”
> >
> >
> > The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She
> > replied, “Nine, but what do you care about that?”
> >
> > The judge patiently said, “Well, ma’am, because
> > I’m going to give you nine days in jail — one day for
> > each peach.”

As the judge was about to drop gavel,
the lady’s long suffering husband raised his hand
and asked if he might speak.
> >
> >
> > The judge said, “Yes, what do you have to add?”
> >
> > The husband said, “Your Honour, she also stole a can of
> > peas.”

 

source :::: input from a friend of mine

natarajan

Just For Laugh… ” We Mind Our Business ” !!!

An anti-British sign?

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in
CAMPBELTOWN, SCOTLAND.

‘WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000  TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER!’

You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.

However, Britain is a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps its greatest liberty.

After all, it is ONLY A SIGN.

You may ask What kind of business would dare to post such a sign?
Answer:

A FUNERAL PARLOUR.

(WHO SAID THE SCOTTISH UNDERTAKERS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR?!!!!?

source:::: input frtom a friend of mine

natarajan

Guess The Profession of Kesavan !!!

  If Parsis can have their names as per their professions, why can’t
Tamilians also have the same?
(After all, we are not Britishers to have names such as Barber, Cook,
Underwood, etc…). So, here
goes….the list !!!!

 Doctor — Vaidyanathan

Dentist — Pallavan

Lawyer — Kesavan

Financier — Dhanasekaran

Cardiologist — Irudhayaraj

Pediatrist — Kuzhandaisamy

Psychiatrist — Mano

Sex Therapist — Kamadevan

Marriage Counsellor — Kalyanasundaram

Ophthalmologist –Kannappan or kannayiram

ENT Specialist — Neelakandan

Diabetologist — Sakkarapani

Nutritionist — Arogyasamy

Hypnotist — Sokkalingam

Mentalist — Budhisikamani

Exorcist — Maatruboodham

Magician — Mayandi

Builder — Sengalvarayan

Painter — Chitraguptan

Meteorologist — Kaarmegam

Agriculturist — Pachaiyappan

Horticulturist — Pushpavanam

Landscaper — Bhuminathan

Barber — Kondaiappan

Beggar — Pichai

Bartender — Madhusudhan

Alcoholic — Kallapiraan

Exhibitionist — Ambalavaanan

Fiction writer — Naavalan

Makeup Man — Singaram

Milk Man — Paul Raj    (Paul to be pronounced the Tamil way!)

Dairy Farmer — Pasupathi

Dog Groomer — Naayagan

Snake Charmer — Nagamurthi

Mountain Climber — Yezhumalai

Javelin Thrower — Velayudam

Polevaulter — Thaandavarayan

Weight Lifter — Balaraman

Karate Expert — Kailaasam

Kick Boxer — Ethiraj

Batsman — Dhandiappan

Bowler — Balaji

Spin Bowler — Thirupathi

Female Spin Bowler — Thirupura Sundari

Driver — Sarathy

Devoted and Sincere Driver — Parthasarathy  

source:::: input from a friend of mine

natarajan