environment

Joke For the Day… Lost in Hot Air Baloon !!!

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A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the man, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”

The man below responded, “You must be a manager.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “how did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”   

 

source::::joke a day .com

natarajan

Message For the Day… ” Be Aware of Pitfalls and Develop Good Conduct “…

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In this world, you must perform both great deeds and good deeds. The vagaries of modern life are rather mysterious and beyond understanding. They are called ‘Dushta Chathushtayam or Akara Chatushtayam’ (Evil Quartet) which comprise of: Lack of faith (Avishwasam), doubt (Anumanam), jealousy (Asuya) and ego (Ahamkaram). Lack of good character makes one develop bad thinking. Lack of faith leads to doubt. Today, many people are ready to trust a stranger on the street but refuse to believe the scriptures and noble commandments of great saints or their own parents. They do not believe even in the words of those that love and care for them. Be aware of these pitfalls and develop good conduct. For good conduct, truth and righteousness are essential. Undertake meritorious deeds with noble motives and immerse yourself in the feeling of love.   

Sathya Sai Baba

 

Jokes For the Weekend …. ” Windows Frozen …” !!!

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SHORT &  SIMPLE:
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.”
Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer really screwed up now.”
………………..
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…. Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”
The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer.

………………..
Quick Wit:
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But officer.” the man began, “I can explain,”.
“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back…”
“But officer, I just wanted to say….”
“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

………………….

source::::: joke a day .com
natarajan

Joke of The Day… “Do you Have A Driving Licence ? ” !!!

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A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway; the officer came to the driver’s window and said, “Sir, may I see your driver’s license and registration?” The man said, “Well officer I don’t have a license, it was taken away for a DUI.” The officer, in surprise, said,” What, do you have a registration for the vehicle?” So the man replied, “No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am pretty sure I say a registration card in the glove box when I put the gun in it.” The officer stepped back, “There is a gun in the glove box?!?” The man sighed and said, “Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car before I stuffed her in the trunk.” The officer steps toward the back of the car and says,” Sir do not move, I am calling for backup.” The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway patrolman arrives. He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his driver’s license and registration. The man said,” Yes officer here it right here.” It all checked out so the officer said,” Is there a gun in the glove box sir?” The man laughs and says,” No officer why would there be a gun in the glove box.” He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no gun. The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to believe that there was a body in it. The man agrees and opens the trunk, no dead body. The second officer says, “Sir I do not understand, the officer that pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk.” The man looks the officer in the eyes and says, “Yeah and I’ll bet he said I was speeding too.”   

source::::joke a day .com

natarajan

 

Guess The Profession of Kesavan !!!

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  If Parsis can have their names as per their professions, why can’t
Tamilians also have the same?
(After all, we are not Britishers to have names such as Barber, Cook,
Underwood, etc…). So, here
goes….the list !!!!

 Doctor — Vaidyanathan

Dentist — Pallavan

Lawyer — Kesavan

Financier — Dhanasekaran

Cardiologist — Irudhayaraj

Pediatrist — Kuzhandaisamy

Psychiatrist — Mano

Sex Therapist — Kamadevan

Marriage Counsellor — Kalyanasundaram

Ophthalmologist –Kannappan or kannayiram

ENT Specialist — Neelakandan

Diabetologist — Sakkarapani

Nutritionist — Arogyasamy

Hypnotist — Sokkalingam

Mentalist — Budhisikamani

Exorcist — Maatruboodham

Magician — Mayandi

Builder — Sengalvarayan

Painter — Chitraguptan

Meteorologist — Kaarmegam

Agriculturist — Pachaiyappan

Horticulturist — Pushpavanam

Landscaper — Bhuminathan

Barber — Kondaiappan

Beggar — Pichai

Bartender — Madhusudhan

Alcoholic — Kallapiraan

Exhibitionist — Ambalavaanan

Fiction writer — Naavalan

Makeup Man — Singaram

Milk Man — Paul Raj    (Paul to be pronounced the Tamil way!)

Dairy Farmer — Pasupathi

Dog Groomer — Naayagan

Snake Charmer — Nagamurthi

Mountain Climber — Yezhumalai

Javelin Thrower — Velayudam

Polevaulter — Thaandavarayan

Weight Lifter — Balaraman

Karate Expert — Kailaasam

Kick Boxer — Ethiraj

Batsman — Dhandiappan

Bowler — Balaji

Spin Bowler — Thirupathi

Female Spin Bowler — Thirupura Sundari

Driver — Sarathy

Devoted and Sincere Driver — Parthasarathy  

source:::: input from a friend of mine

natarajan

Rice and Glow !!!

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No, People Aren’t Actually Watching The Sunrise On TV In China…

sunset on screen in China‘Sunrise’ in Beijing NewsClips247 / YouTube

Rise and glow! In addition to the dull lightening of smog that now denotes morning in the polluted city of Beijing, the glow of an electronic rising sun on television has been added to simulate the real thing… or so news reports from the Daily Mail and others would have you believe, with headlines like “China starts televising the sunset on giant TV screens because Beijing is so clouded in smog.”

As Quartz and others have noted, however, this is false. The image of the giant sun (above) was part of a tourism commercial, and the sun only appears for about 10 seconds. It is also shown regardless of weather conditions.

Nevertheless, the smog really is terrible in Beijing. As Climate Progress reports:

“On Thursday [Jan. 16], the city issued its first warning of the year for a wave of dangerous smog that exceeded the worst threshold in the warning system. Concentrations of PM2.5, a recently classified carcinogen, were 350 to 500 micrograms per cubic meter on Thursday morning. Later that afternoon, the air quality monitors at the U.S. Embassy in Beijing recorded a sickening 671. The World Health Organization (WHO) considers 25 or less micrograms per cubic meter ideal for human health. Above 300 is considered hazardous.”

Smog and outdoor air pollution continues to be a major concern in China; and one study found that it contributed to 1.2 million premature deaths in 2010 alone.

But that is no excuse for making up fictitious story lines about how bad it is to live in China or its capital.

Kindly see my earlier post on this subject  for your ready ref….  https://natarajank.com/2014/01/18/smog-in-beijing-is-so-bad-that-you-have-to-watch-the-sunrise-on-tv/

source::::businessinsider.com

natarajan

Read more: http://www.popsci.com/article/science/no-people-dont-have-watch-sunrise-tv-china#ixzz2rBF7QqUl

Message For the Day… ” God Expects You to Fill Your Heart with Love …”

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Control your tongue as it always craves for a variety of delicacies. Ask yourself this question, “O tongue, how many bags of rice, wheat and vegetables, how many delicacies have you tasted? Fie on you if you are still unsatisfied!” Eat sufficiently to satisfy your hunger and sustain your body, without giving undue importance to taste. Likewise, your eyes must see God instead of watching unsacred things on the television or video. May your ears listen to the stories of the Lord instead of vain gossip. All that you see and hear gets imprinted on your heart and unsacred things pollute it. When your heart is polluted, life becomes meaningless. Human heart is like a pen. The colour of the words that you write will be the same as the colour of the ink in the pen. God expects you to fill your heart with love. Then, all that you think say and do will be suffused with love and your life shall become sacred.

 Sathya Sai Baba

Joke for The Day…”Does the Camping Ground has its own B.C …”?

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A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn’t know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herself

to write the word “toilet” in her letter.

After much thought, she finally came up with the old fashioned term “Bathroom closet” but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the B.C.

“Does the camping ground have it’s own B.C.” is what she wrote.

Well, the camping ground owner wasn’t a bit old fashioned, and he just couldn’t figure out what the old lady was talking about, so he showed the letter around a few of the campers and the only thing they could come up with was that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply.

Dear Madam,

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.

I admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of campers go there and many take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive nice and early and stay quite late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that there is a special supper planned there to raise money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to sit in comfort.

I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so busy most of the time.

As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort to go, especially in the cold weather. If you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks.

Remember this is a very friendly community  ….

source:::: joke a day.com

natarajan