humour

Base Ball Buddies…!!!

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The Baseball Buddies…

Sam and Dean were best of friends as well as two of the biggest baseball fans the world has ever seen.

All of their lives, Sam and Dean would talk about baseball. They went to all the games they could get to. They even made a pact, as kids, that when one of them dies – the other will return to tell him if heaven has baseball games.

One night, after watching the yankee victory, Sam happily dies. A few night later, his buddy Dean wakes up to a familiar sound – it’s Sam, and he’s talking to him from beyond.

“Sam, is that you?” Asks Dean.baseball

“Sure is, buddy!” replies Sam.

“Wow this is amazing!” exclaims Dean. “So, please tell me, is there baseball in heaven?”

“Well,” answers Sam. “I have some good news and bad news for you. Which would you like to hear first?”

“Give me the good news first.”

“Ok, well the good news is that the answer is yes, there is baseball in heaven.”

“That’s incredible! So what’s the bad news, then?”

“You’re pitching tomorrow night.”

 

source:::: ba-ba mail site

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” Who Was That Old Bugger … ” !!!

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Seniors Travel  !!!

A Travel Agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.

He called them into his shop, ‘I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a
fabulous resort at my expense, and I won’t take no for an answer.’

He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. Then, as can be expected, they gladly accepted, and were off!

About a month later the little old lady came in to his shop. ‘And how did you like your holiday?’ he asked eagerly.

‘The flight was exciting and the room was lovely,’ she said. ‘I’ve come to thank you, but one thing puzzled me. Who was that old bugger I had to share the room with?’

source::: input from a friend of mine…

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Jokes for the Weekend….

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 One day an Antartian decided to face her fears and go riding on a horse.

It was easy for her to get on and she was doing just fine until the horse started to go faster.

She started slipping off the saddle. She couldn’t hold on to the horse and her head started hitting the ground.

She was almost knocked unconscious when the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged the machine.

 

 


A man, a woman and an Antartican were driving in the desert in a jeep when the car suddenly broke down. Since none of them had any car knowledge, they decided to walk.
Each of them decided to take one thing with them: the man took the food in case he got hungry, the woman took the water in case she got thirsty, and the Antartican took the car door.
When questioned about her choice, the Antartican said, “Well, if I get hot, I can roll down the window!”

An Antartian woman was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She stood in front of a candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out.
She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceeded to put two more coins into the slot and turned the knob, again a candy bar fell out and she put it in her pocket.
She put two more coins into the machine and again turned the knob producing yet another candy bar.
A man was watching from a short distance away and walked up to her. He said, “Excuse me Miss? What are you doing?”
She said, “Duh! I’m winning here!”
source::::joke a day.com
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Happiness is… Laughing Baby !!!

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Happiness is a baby, a dog and a cloud of bubbles

 Baby Molly wasn’t impressed by the airy bubbles her mother blew to amuse her until Bennie the dog joined in the fun. 

Bennie leaping around popping the bubbles turned out to be the funniest thing not-quite-10-months-old Molly had ever seen in her short life. 

Tail wagging, Bennie waits expectantly for the next rush of bubbles. Gurgling and giggling in equal parts, so does little Molly. 

We dare you not to fall over laughing just like Molly does. And we guarantee this video of baby, dog and ‘Hysterical Bubbles’ will make you more than a little bit wistful, nostalgic about those long-gone days when all it took to make the sun shine brighter was a bottle of soap water and a plastic ring that created a rainbow-tinted cloud of happiness, a fragile joy. 

Watch Molly and Bennie have fun with bubbles: 

source::::You Tube and NDTV

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Jokes For the Day…

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“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another.

“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”

………………..


A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid, so he asked his collections manager to leave a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.” The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”  

………………………….

 


Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts: “Stop right there. This definitely falls into the category of ‘Home Improvement.’”

……………………………..


Following a miserable year, the CEO of a company called all the Project Managers for a performance review meeting. After giving them a piece of his mind, he asked each Manager to present his/her case. One of the Managers gave a long winding speech of excuses on his Project’s performance over which the CEO got irritated and yelled “Just tell me Yes or No”. The Manager coolly said “Yes or No” and sat down!  

……………………

source::::joke a day.com

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” இலங்கை அழிந்ததேன் ?… இரவி மறைந்ததேன்? …” !!!

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தமிழ்ச் சொற்சுவை உள்ளத்தே புகுந்து உணர்விலே ஒன்றி, கண்களில் நீர் கசியும் போதில்…
அடடா! அனுபவித்தவர்களுக்கே அதன் தரமும் சுவையும் புரியும். அற்றை நாளிலும் இற்றை நாளிலும் அடியேன் நாடுவது நல்ல நண்பர்களின் துணையை!
கவிஞர் நந்தலாலா – நெருங்கிய நண்பர்களில் ஒருவர். அவருடன் பேசிக் கொண்டிருந்தாலே போதும்… கவிச்சுவையும் தமிழ்ச் சுவையும் பண்டை இலக்கிய வாழ்வின் சுவையும் ஒருங்கே உளத்தில் புகும்.
ஆறேழு வருடங்களுக்கு முன்னர் பொதிகை-தொலைக்காட்சியில் ஒன்றாக நிகழ்ச்சிகளில் பங்கேற்றிருக்கின்றோம். அப்போதும் அச்சுவை பருகி மகிழ்வேன் யான்.
ஒரு நாள் காலை… பொதிகையில் நண்பர் நந்தலாலா சொல்லின் சுவையை தனிமையிலே எடுத்துச் சொன்ன வண்ணம் இருந்தார். கேட்டுக் கொண்டிருந்தேன் சுற்றுப் புறச் சூழல் மறந்து!
அற்புதமான நினைவாற்றல் அவருக்கு. காளமேகத்தின் சிலேடையை தொய்வின்றித் தொகுத்தளித்தார்.
சிறுவயதில் சொல் விளையாட்டு எங்களுக்கும் அத்துபடிதான். எல்லாம் நம் கிராமங்களில் பிறந்து, வளர்ந்து, நல்லோரிடம் தமிழ் படித்துப் பழகியிருக்க வேண்டும்… அந்த வாய்ப்பு கிடைத்தது நான் செய்த புண்ணியம்.
கவிஞர் நந்தலாலா சொன்ன ஓரிரு சொற்சுவையைக் கோடிட்டுக் காட்டாமல் இருந்தால் எப்படி?
அவருடைய சிறுவயதில் பெரியவர்கள் கேட்பார்களாம்… அந்தக் கேள்விகளுக்கு ஒற்றைச் சொல்லால் பதில் தரவேண்டும். இதுவும் ஒரு விளையாட்டு!
பெரியவர் கேட்பாராம்… “இலங்கை அழிந்ததேன்? இரவி மறைந்ததேன்?”
இதற்கான ஒற்றைச் சொல் பதில் – “இராமன் தாரத்தால்”!
அதெப்படி…? இலங்கை அழிந்தது – இராமன் தாரத்தால்! இரவி மறைந்தது – இரா மந்தாரத்தால்!
இன்னொன்று..
அக்ரஹாரம் கெட்டதேன்? விவசாயம் அழிந்ததேன்?
இதற்கான பதில்… “பார்ப்பான் இல்லாமையால்!”
பார்ப்பு எனும் வேதமோதும் வேதியன் இல்லாமல் அக்ரஹாரங்கள் கெட்டன. விவசாயத்தைப் பார்ப்பவன் இல்லாமல் அதுவும் அழிந்து வருகிறது!
தனிமையைப் பற்றிச் சொன்ன நந்தலாலா, ஒரு கவிதை நயத்தைச் சொல்லி விடைபெற்றார்…
இக்பால் சாகும்வரை உன் பிணத்தை நீதான் சுமக்க வேண்டும்!
– உள்ளத்தில் உழன்று கொண்டிருக்கிறது இந்த வாசகம்!

செங்கோட்டை ஸ்ரீராம் – in Dinamani…blog.dinamani.com

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Joke of the Day…!!!

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Once there was an Antartian that was down on his luck. In order to get some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him “I’ve kidnapped you.”

The Antartian wrote a note saying “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Antartian.”

The Antartian then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Antartian checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Antartian opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, “How could one Antartian do this to another Antartian?!”

 

source::::joke a day.com

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Jokes for the Day…

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A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”
…………..

To tag birds migrating, the U.S. Department of the Interior used metal bands that bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated:
Wash. Biol. Surv.
Until the agency received the following letter from a camper:
Dear Sirs,
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible.
………………………

A patron at a restaurant was continually bothering the waiter about the air conditioning: first he would ask for the air conditioning to be turned up because it was too hot, then he would ask it be turned down because it was to cold, this went on for about a half an hour. To the surprise of the rest of the customers, the waiter was very patient, walking aback and forth and very pleasant. So finally a customer asked; why don’t you just throw out the pest? “Oh, I don’t care,” said the waiter with a grin, we don’t even have an air conditioner.”

………………

Q. What would happen if you have a wooden car, with wooden wheels, a wooden chair, and a wooden engine?
A. It wooden start!

……………….

source::::: joke a day.com
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Jokes For the Day…” This is a Small Circle … ” !!!

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During training exercises, the Lieutenant driving down a

muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud

with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.

“Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the Lieutenant as he pulled

alongside.

“Nope,” replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him

the keys, “Yours is.”
…………..

During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degree.
“But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees,” called out a conscript.
“Don’t be stupid,” the sergeant roared. “This is a small circle.”
……………….

Officer at the shooting range: Get ready, aim, fire at will.
Soldier: Which one is Will?

……………

source::::joke a day.com
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