source::: glasbergen.com
natarajan
humour
Joke of the Day….Costly Brain… !!!
A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain.
Upon further inspection he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. A carpenter’s brain sells for $1.50 per pound. A plumber’s brain sells for $2.25 per pound. He noticed with alarm that a politician’s brain sells for $375.00 a pound. With not a little curiosity he asked the owner why the huge difference in price between the similar meats.
The owner responded with a deadpan look on his face, “Do you realize how many politicians it takes to get a pound of brains?”
source::::joke a day.com
natarajan
Baby Escape … !!! … A Key to Know How Babies Plan !!!
source::: you tube
natarajan
Jokes for the Day…
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”
………………
A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?” Her mother replied, “No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.” The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”
……………….
At a Sunday school class the teacher asked a child; do you pray to God before lunch or dinner?
The child said, “No ma’am, my moms a good cook!”
…………….
Sam: Dad, would you do my math homework for me?
Dad: No, son, it wouldn’t be right.
Sam: Well, at least you could try
………………
At a Catholic school, there was a “meet the teacher” open house for the 2nd graders. After the meeting, a Nun announced that there would be a small reception afterwards in the cafeteria. All the children and parents filed in, and saw on a table a plate of apples, a plate of cookies, and some water bottles and juice. As the children went through the line, one boy saw that there was a sign on the plate of apples that said, “Take only one. God is watching.” So, the boy took an apple and moved on to the cookies. He helped himself, and then took a small piece of paper, and wrote: “Take all you want”. God is watching the apples.”
source:::: joke a day.com
natarajan
Cartoon of the Day …
SOURCE:::glasbergen.com
natarajan
” சொன்னா நீ வருத்தப் படுவே …” !!!
முழுப்பைத்தியமும் அரையும்!
சைக்காலஜிக்கும், சைக்யாட்ரிக்கும் இருக்கும் வேறுபாடு பலருக்குப் புரியவில்லை.
ஒன்று சாதாரண மனநிலை பற்றிய விஞ்ஞானம், இன்னொன்று அசாதாரண மனநிலையைப் பற்றிய விஞ்ஞானம். என் இந்த எண்ணம் சரிதானா என்று சைக்யாட்ரி தெரிந்த நண்பர் ஒருவரைக் கேட்டேன். அவரும் அதை ஆமோதித்தது சந்தோஷமாக இருந்தது. நீண்ட நாளாக இருந்த என் சந்தேகம் இன்னொன்றையும் உடனே கேட்டேன்.
“ஒருத்தருக்கு சைக்யாட்ரி பிரச்சினை இருக்கு என்பதை எப்படிக் கண்டு பிடிக்கிறது?”
“ரொம்ப சுலபம். அது மாதிரி ஆட்கள் ஒரு குறிப்பிட்ட சந்தர்ப்பத்தில் பெரும்பான்மையான மக்கள் இருக்கும் மனநிலையிலிருந்து மாறுபட்டிருப்பாங்க. சின்னச் சின்ன சோதனைகள் பண்ணி கண்டுபிடிச்சிடலாம்” என்றார்.
“உதாரணத்துக்கு ஏதாவது ஒரு சோதனையைச் சொன்னாத்தானே புரியும்?” என்றேன்.
“இப்போ ஒரு ரூம்ல ஒரு பக்கெட் நிறைய தண்ணியை வச்சிட்டு பக்கத்துல ஒரு பிளாஸ்டிக் மக், ஒரு டீ ஸ்பூன் இரண்டையும் வச்சிடணும்”
“சரி”
“சம்பந்தப்பட்ட ஆளை அறைக்குள்ளே அனுப்பி பக்கெட் தண்ணியைக் காலி பண்ணச் சொல்லணும்”
“இண்டரஸ்டிங். அப்புறம்?”
“அவன் சூஸ் பண்ற மெத்தேடே அவனைக் காட்டிக் குடுத்துடும்”
இதைக் கேட்டதும் நான் விலாப்புடைக்கச் சிரித்தேன்.
“ஸ்பூனை யூஸ் பண்ணி மணிக் கணக்கா மொண்டு ஊத்தினா அவன் பைத்தியம்ங்கிறே?”
“எக்ஸாக்ட்லி?”
“பிளாஸ்டிக் மக்கை வச்சி ஒரே நிமிஷத்துல காலி பண்ணா அவன் நார்மல் இல்லையா?”
“இல்லை. அந்த மாதிரி ஆட்களுக்கு வேற பேர் இருக்கு”
“என்னது?”
“சொன்னா நீ வருத்தப்படுவே”
“பரவாயில்லை சொல்லு”
……………….
………………..
“அந்த மாதிரி ஆட்களைத்தான் செமின்னு சொல்வாங்க”
“அப்ப நார்மலா இருக்கிறவன் என்ன பண்ணுவான்?”
“பக்கெட்டைத் தூக்கிக் கவுத்துட்டுப் போய்க்கிட்டே இருப்பான்”
source::::unknown… input from a friend of mine
natarajan
Jokes For the Day !!!
A doctor calls his patient and says; the check you gave me for my bill came back.
The patient replied: So did my arthritis..!!!
…………………..
A Man rushed into a doctor’s office, jumped on his back, and started screaming, “One! Two! Three! Four!” “Wait a minute!” yelled the doctor, trying to get free. “What do you think you’re doing?” The man said, “Well doctor, they did say I could count on you!”
……………………..
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses.
You certainly do, sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
…………………..
After the doctor gives the patient his diagnosis, the patient says; “Can I have a second opinion?
The doctor says; “Sure. Come back tomorrow.
…………………
A man goes to the hospital for its brain scan.
According to the results:
In his left brain no one’s right
And in his right brain nothing’s left
…………………….
“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.”
“And did he?”
“Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill….
“And did he?”
“Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill….
…………………..
A specialist is someone who knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing.
A General Practitioner is someone who knows less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.
A pathologist is someone who knows more and more about everything until he knows everything about everything. But, too late.
A General Practitioner is someone who knows less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.
A pathologist is someone who knows more and more about everything until he knows everything about everything. But, too late.
…………………….
source::::: joke a day.com
natarajan
Jokes For the Day…
Three men were shipwrecked on a desert island and where captured by the local natives. They were brought to the chief native. The chief gave the men two choices; they could have death or submit to unga bunga. The first man decides he does not want to die, so he chooses unga bunga. Ten of the natives took him into the woods, when he came back one hour later he was all beaten up. The second man chooses unga bunga and he was taken out the woods for 2 hours where the natives beat him up. The third man not wanting to go through all that torture decided upon death. So the chief said ok death by Unga Bunga …
……………
A small 1 SEATER plane crashed into a cemetery. Police have recovered 102 bodies so far and will continue to dig throughout the night.
…………..
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Help me, please help me; there is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it’s going to kill me; can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves.
You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me; it is going to be fatal!
Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?
I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk! Help me please, please help!
You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me; it is going to be fatal!
Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?
I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk! Help me please, please help!
……….
Why did the belt get locked up?
He held up a pair of pants!
He held up a pair of pants!
………………
One of the courses I taught when I was a college professor was Freshman English. To my first class of students I described the basic parts of an essay: “Remember, the three parts of an essay are the Introduction, the Body, and the Confusion”.
source::::joke a day.com
natarajan
Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/LosUltimosChistes.asp?Pagina=2#ixzz2wx5tZrnj
” Well Crafted Lines Lined up For You for a Good Laugh ” !!!
Modern comedians are great for many types of comedy. But there were times, before we got addicted to visual jokes, that a well crafted line was all you needed to get a good laugh. And throughout the ages, there have been some really good ones. Here are some of our favorites!
“The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good … spit it out.“
Unknown
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning, and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.”
George Burns
“Santa Claus has the right idea … visit people only once a year.”
Victor Borge
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
Mark Twain
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.”
Mark Twain
“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher
Socrates
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Groucho Marx
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”
Jimmy Durante
“The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.”
Jilly Cooper
“I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.”
“I was always a good housekeeper. Whenever I divorced I always kept the house.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Only Irish coffee provides, in a single glass, all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.”
Alex Levine
“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”
Ed Furgol
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”
Spike Milligan
“I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”
Mark Twain
“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.”
Herbert Henry Asquith
“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”
Bob Hope
“A woman drove me to drink … and I hadn’t even the courtesy to thank her.”
W C Fields
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth, or the fourteenth.”
George Burns
“Don’t worry about avoiding temptation… As you grow older, it will avoid you.”
Unknown
Doctor to patient: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.”
Unknown
“By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.”
Unknown
source:::ba-ba mail site
natarajan
Cartoon of the Day !!!
source::::glasbergen.com
natarajan
Take off with Natarajan 