Joke For The Day…” Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog ? …” !!!

The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Count down to #1…

#15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

# 14 “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

#13 “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

#12 “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the
speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

#11 “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

#10 “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

#9 “Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I’m warning you not to do that
again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

#8 “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

#7 “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and corn dogs and step in monkey poo. ”

#6 “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

#5 “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”

#4 “How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you had?”

#3 “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

#2 “I’m glad to hear that chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

The envelope please…………………

AND THE WINNER IS …

#1 “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

source:::::joke a day.com

natarajan

Is the Appointment of Satya Nadella as CEO of Microsoft , A Feather in India”s Cap ?

Is the appointment of Satya Nadella a feather in India’s cap or a slap in the face for the Indian system? While Indian newspapers were over the moon about Nadella’s elevation, with some justification, there is another side to the story we need to consider: why is it that India’s tech and other geniuses flower only in the US or Silicon Valley?

Satya-Nadella_microsoft_7

 

Satya Nadella Why is it that every India-origin person to win a Nobel after independence in the sciences is not an Indian citizen any more? Hargobind Khurana won the prize for medicine in 1968, Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar for physics in 1983 and Venkatraman Ramakrishnan for chemistry in 2009. All of them flowered only because they left India, and not because they were Indians per se. They left India behind. In fact, Ramakrishnan was downright rude when Indians called to congratulate him in 2009. He said: “We are all human beings, and our nationality is simply an accident of birth.” He also complained about “all sorts of people” writing to him and “clogging up my email box. It takes me an hour or two to just remove their mails.” While his immediate reaction may seem churlish to us, underlying it all is the real issue: our “Indian” successes abroad have little to do with the fact that they are Indian. They succeed because they abandoned India. We need to ask ourselves: why does our system kill future heroes, while the US helps raise even ordinary Indians to iconic levels? It would not be out of place to mention that it is well-nigh impossible for 99 percent of Indian aspirants to get admissions even to an IIT or IIM, but it is far simpler to get into an Ivy League institution. If you don’t get into an IIM, you try Harvard. The short point: our system is designed to keep people out, not get them in. The true value of an IIT or IIM is not the intellectual capital they produce, but their filtering expertise – which keeps all but the superlisters out of these institutions. When the people entering the institution are the best among the best, they will shine no matter what the quality of faculty or the curriculum. Perhaps this comes from our caste system, where castes try and keep others out, but we are stuck with this system of exclusion. Our system encourages talkers rather than doers.We think this makes us “argumentative” and democratic, but what this actually makes us is obstructionist rather than problem solvers. Our politics is about name-calling and running others down, not about doing something yourself. A Narasimha Rao and a Vajpayee who achieved something are voted out; a UPA-1 which did little beyond distributing taxpayers’ resources is voted in. This is one reason why we celebrate the rare achievers so highly: TN Seshan, who armed the Election Commission with real teeth, Vinod Rai, who made CAG a household name, and E Sreedharan, the former boss of the Delhi Metro. And yet, we find the political class carping about them and calling them dictators. This is also the reason why we prefer autocratic rulers rather than democratic ones: we know we talk more than we act. To get things done, we prefer an autocrat to rule over us rather than exercise self-discipline as democrats. All our successful political parties are one-person shows. The latest heading in that direction is BJP – which was all talk and no achievement for 10 years in opposition till Narendra Modi came along and was lauded for being a doer. If leaders emerge from our system, it’s due to a historical accident. As Ramchandra Guha points out in his book Patriots and Partisans, if Lal Bahadur Shastri had lived five more years, Indira Gandhi would not have been PM and Sonia Gandhi would still be a housewife. We are risk-avoiders rather than risk takers. This is why we prescribe endless paperwork and bureaucracy for simple things like opening a bank account or buying a mobile phone connection. A terrorist would have used an untraceable mobile number – after which every Indian buying a mobile will be put through hoops to prove he is a bonafide consumer. This does not catch any terrorist, but the idea is for officials to avoid the risk that fingers will be pointed at you saying you did nothing to prevent terrorism. So orders will be issued to tighten the system and make things worse for everybody. A scam will happen somewhere. Suddenly files stop moving in every ministry. Forest clearances will take ages – or never happen. The risk of being seen as doing something wrong is great. And so the buck is passed to someone else in the system. Sonia and Rahul want to be seen as do-gooders. So the dirty work of reform will be handed over to Manmohan Singh – who is another risk-avoider. He will do nothing and allow the A Rajas to loot the exchequer rather than do his job. Doing nothing is safer than asking tough questions of his babus or ministers. The BJP and other opposition leaders know that populist laws like the Food Security and Land Acquisition laws will damage the fiscal balance. But they too avoid risks by keeping quiet when wrong laws are passed. As a people, we are risk-avoiders as well. We know the IITs and IIMs are the way to big jobs. So when our kids want to become artists or cricketers, we tell them to forget it and study for IIT-JEE or CAT, never mind your own passion. Our engineers stop being engineers and start coding; they then opt for doing an MBA and become lousy man managers. Meanwhile, our engineering companies are starved of engineers. We are simply unable to tolerate success. If Modi talks about a Gujarat model, everybody has to bring it down. If Rahul claims his government’s biggest achievement is the RTI, everyone will belittle it. If Chidambaram claims high growth as UPA’s success, the Left will say this growth is not helping the poor. If we say poverty has reduced, others will say it hasn’t. If it has, our definition of poverty must be wrong. We celebrate mediocrity, rather than excellence. Our system kills initiative rather than engender it. We want pliable yes-men and non-achievers around us, not non-conformists and people with ideas of their own. Our successes are more the result of accident than real effort. The 1991 external bankruptcy forced us to reform and liberalise. Manmohan Singh’s reformism ended with that accident. Another accident made him PM in 2004, but he did little to use this chance to reform further. We are paying the price for his risk-aversion. A Satya Nadella, who is from Manipal , would never have made it big in India since he is not from the IITs. But even IITians don’t flower much in an Indian corporate or academic environment; they leave India and prefer working with foreign firms. If Satya Nadella had remained in India, he would probably be working as a coder in Infosys or TCS. Earning a high salary no doubt, but an unlikely candidate for CEO.

source::::www.firstpost.com

natarajan
Read more at: http://www.firstpost.com/india/nadella-as-microsoft-ceo-a-slap-in-the-face-for-indian-system-1374951.html?utm_source=ref_article

Jokes For the Day…” Can i help for Your promotion ? “…!!!

A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.
“What for?!?!?” he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: “Twenty dollars contempt of court! That’s why!”
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:
“That’s all right. You don’t have to pay now.”
The young man replied, “I know. But I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.”

……………………………

 

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.” “It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer. “Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” “Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn’t even smile at the judge.” Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, “Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!” “I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them.” “But, I did send them.” “What? You did?” said the lawyer, incredulously. “Yes. That’s how we won the case.” “I don’t understand,” said the lawyer. “It’s easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff’s business card.”

…………………………..

The judge frowned at the tired robber and said, “then you admit breaking into the same store on three successive nights?” ”Yes, your honor.”
“And why was that?” “Because my wife wanted a dress.”
The judge check with his records, “But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!”
“Yes sir. She made me exchange it two times.”
………………………………

The drunken defendant appears yet again before the tired judge, who says, “You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years.” Replied the drunk: “Can I help it if you can’t get promoted?”

…………………………

The lawyer was cross-examining a witness.
“Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were I given $500.00 to throw this case?”
The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t
heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction – no response.
Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, “Please answer the question.”
“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I thought he was talking to you.”

source::::joke a day.com

natarajan

 

 

 

Satya Nadella…Tipped to be Microsoft”s Next CEO !!!

Satya Nadella is expected to become the third CEO in Microsoft history.

Satya Nadella

 

Satya Nadella is expected to become the third CEO in Microsoft history. Source: Supplied

HERE are 10 things you didn’t know about Satya Nadella, 47, the likely next CEO of Microsoft, where he would be only the third CEO in the company’s 39-year history. Bill Gates and current boss, Steve Ballmer, are the other two.

• Owns 113.666 shares of Microsoft stock – worth about $4.2 million. Current CEO Steve Ballmer owns 333,252,990 shares, or 4 per cent of the $300 billion company.

• Earned $7.7M in total compensation in 2013, the 2d highest amount in company.

• Played cricket in high school growing up in Hyderabad, in southern India.

• Advice to younger engineers: “Be passionate and bold.”

• Graduate of MIT – but not the one in Massachusetts. Got a 1988 degree in Electronics and Communication Engineering from Manipal Institute of Technology, one of the top engineering schools in India.

• First name is actually Satyanarayana. A real engineering geek, he started at Microsoft in 1992. • Worked on Windows, Bing, Servers and now is now Executive Vice President, Cloud and Enterprise at the software giant.

• Helped bring Microsoft’s Office 365 to the cloud. The company’s cloud business, under Nadella, grew to a $20.3 billion operation last year, up 22 per cent from when he took it over two years earlier.

• Microsoft’s commercial cloud service grew 107 per cent last year, under Nadella’s leadership.

• Nadella also has a Master of Science degree in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, and a Master of Business Administration from the University of Chicago.

• Has just 3,549 followers on Twitter – no wonder, his last tweet was three and a half years ago. “HTML 5 – what fun!” he tweeted. but it is better than Ballmer, who has yet to join the Twitter-sphere.

source:::news.com.au

natarajan

This article originally appeared on the New York Post

Cyprus Swamp In Swan Quarter…North Carolina !!!

Cool colors in a cyprus swamp in Lake Mattamuskeet, Swan Quarter, North Carolina.

Photo credit: Jess Ica

Photo credit: Jess Ica

Thank you to our Facebook friend Jess Ica for this photo. Jess wrote:

I did not add any color to these photos…this is what the cypress swamps look like when the cypress trees release their oils in to the swamps waters….the colors are absolutely breathtaking.

source::::earth sky news

natarajan

 

 

Art Works at Sandy Beach !!!

If you live in San Francisco, California, then you may be lucky enough to come across the art of Andres Amador. He doesn’t paint or sculpt. He prefers a medium that is temporary but absolutely beautiful: a sandy beach at low tide. He uses a rake to create works of art that can be bigger than 100,000 sq. ft.

He spends hours creating these intricate masterpieces, knowing that the tide will soon come in and wash away his work forever.

Andres’ creations are simply stunning and knowing that these delicate creations are temporary somehow makes them even more beautiful.

You should definitely Like Andres On Facebook and Visit His Web Site where you can buy prints of his designs if you want.

source::::viral nova site

natarajan