Joke for the Day…” The first Professional ….”!!!

physician, an engineer, and a politicianwere discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions. Each one of them thought they had this in the bag

The physician said, “Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.”

The engineer replied, “But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine.”

Then, the politician spoke up. “Yes yes, this is all well and true.” he said.
“But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?”
Source….www.ba-ba mail.com
Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” It is Free…This is Heaven …” !!!

An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash.

They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health, food, and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.

As they “oohed and aahed” the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. “It’s free,” Peter replied, “this is Heaven.” Next, they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to.

They would have golfing privileges every day and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, “what are the green fees?” Peter’s reply, “This is heaven, you play for free.”

Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. “How much to eat?” asked the old man. “Don’t you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!” Peter replied with some exasperation. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?” the old man asked timidly.

Peter lectured, “That’s the best part…you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.”

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.

The old man looked at his wife and said, “This is all your fault! If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!”

Source….www.ba-ba mail.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…”What magic words you used , General ….” ?

As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum.

No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle.

Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

“Excuse me, General,” she asks quietly, “but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose.”

Source….www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

On the Lighter side….Joke for the Day ..”Need another $ 10…” !

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers that panhandle in different areas of town.

Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects $2-3 every day.

Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills every day, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

One day, Carlos asked Jose: “I work just as long and hard as you do, but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?”

“Look at your sign, what does it say?” replies Jose.

Carlos’ sign reads: “I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.”

Jose says: “no wonder you only get $2-3.”

‘Carlos says: “So what does your sign say then?”

Jose shows Carlos his sign – it reads: “I only need another $10 to move back to Mexico”

Source…..www.ba-ba mail.com

Natarajan

Jokes for the Day…

Many people say that men and women are opposites. Others hold the notion that they complement each other, while others believe them to be both. Despite it all, we cannot help but be a little comical about the differences between the two sexes, so if you agree with us on this, the following short jokes will surely have you bursting into laughter!

Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in…
While those inside are desperate to come out.

Wife: “Why are you home so early?”
Husband: “My boss said go to hell!”

Doctor: “How’s your headache?”
Patient: “She’s out of town.”

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she loves the most.
But when a man does that – the slide show begins….

Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again.
Wives are magicians…

They can change anything into an argument.

There are 3 kinds of men in this world: Some remain single and make wonders happen, some have girlfriends and see wonders happen…the rest get married and wonder what happened!

Q- Why can’t women drive well?
A- Because there are too many mirrors in a car that distract them.

Q- Why can’t women stand a day in a Jungle?
A- There are no shopping centers.
 

Q: How can you save a dying woman?
A: Tell her about a 90% sale going on somewhere.
Q: If a Woman is quiet, which day is it?
A: Who cares, just enjoy that day!
Women live a better, longer and more peaceful Life, compared to men. Do you want to know why?
A very smart man replied: Women don’t have a wife!

Source…www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…”Next time don’t go so fast ….” !

Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking.

Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated, he quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them.

He started the engine, turned it off again and said: “We have reached your destination”.

“Alright pal, here you go,” said the first guy as he gave him the money.

The second guy thanked him enthusiastically.

The third guy slapped him across the face with brute force.

“What was that for?” Yelled the surprised driver, thinking he was caught.

“Next time don’t go so fast! You nearly killed us!”

Source….www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joe Reginella’s Memorials to Disasters That Never Happened…!!!

 

Most remember October 29th, 1929—also known as Black Tuesday—as the day when the New York stock market crashed. However, it was also the day when one of the most horrific tragedy involving human-animal conflict happened at the Brooklyn Bridge.

On that awful day a trio of three circus elephants, including the star attraction—a thirteen-foot-tall African elephant named Jumbo, was to cross the Brooklyn Bridge and into New York. The event was greatly publicized and crowds of people came from miles around to see Jumbo. While crossing the bridge, something caused the animals to panic and what was to be a slow and deliberate cross suddenly became a deadly stampede as the three elephants charged into the cheering crowd. Aside from scores of human casualty, two of the elephants died in the stampede, while Jumbo escaped to freedom through the Holland Tunnel and lived out his days at an elephant sanctuary.

 The memorial to the 1929 Brooklyn Bridge Elephant Stampede. Photo credit: Joe Reginella

When a new bronze memorial to the tragedy was unveiled at the Brooklyn Bridge Park last month, it left visitors scratching their heads because no one ever remembered hearing or reading about the Brooklyn Bridge Elephant Stampede of 1929. That’s because the tragedy never happened. It’s a satirical piece of art by sculptor Joe Reginella.

Last year, the prankster-artist erected another memorial to yet another fabricated tragedy—the so-called Staten Island Ferry Disaster—in Battery Park. The story goes, that on November 2nd, 1963, a Staten Island Ferry with over 400 people onboard was attacked by a giant octopus and was pulled beneath the water resulting in the death of all passengers. According to Reginella, the disaster went almost completely unnoticed by the public because it was overshadowed by another more “newsworthy” tragedy that occurred that day—the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

As part of the hoax, Reginella created a fake documentary, fabricated newspaper articles and distributed flyers to puzzled tourists sending them to a nonexistent museum on Staten Island.

 

 

The memorial to the 1963 Staten Island Ferry Disaster. Photo credit: Ula Ilnytzky

The idea for the hoax came to him when Reginella was taking his 11-year-old nephew on the ferry between Manhattan and Staten Island. To satisfy the kid’s curious questions, such as if the waters were infested with shark, Reginella fabricated the story of a giant octopus attack.

“The story just rolled off the top of my head,” he told The Guardian, and it evolved to become “a multimedia art project and social experience – not maliciously – about how gullible people are”.

In the early few days after the memorial was unveiled, Reginella sat close by with a fishing pole pretending to fish so that he could eavesdrop on the conversations. Sometimes he overheard people wondering why nobody ever heard of it. Others simply stared out at the water and walked away.

While the Staten Island Ferry Disaster never happened, there is actually a bit of interesting history behind Reginella’s latest hoax—the Brooklyn Bridge Elephant Stampede. Elephants belonging to the Barnum and Bailey’s Circus did actually cross the Brooklyn Bridge in 1884, when the circus came to town. One of the elephants, a thirteen-foot and seven-ton African, was actually named Jumbo. He was accompanied by twenty other elephants, seven camels and ten dromedaries in what was known as Barnum’s legendary “elephant walk.”

Neither memorials are permanent, and are displayed only on specific days and times. Consult the memorials’ websites for timing before you decide to visit.

www.sioctopusdisaster.com
www.bbelephantstampede.com

Source….Kaushik in http://www.amusingplanet.com

Natarajan

 

Joke of the Day…”You are not the Flight instructor ….? ” !!!

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.

When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level.

He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him.

He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, “Let’s go!” The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.

The photographer said, “Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures.”

“Why?” asked the pilot. “Because I am a photographer,” he responded, “and photographers take photographs.”

The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”

Source….www.ba-bamail.com

natarajan

Joke of the Day…”Let my chauffeur answer this…” !!!

 

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech-making.

“I have an idea, boss,” his chauffeur said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times, I’ll bet I could give it for you.”

Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about antimatter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool.

Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.” 

Source…..www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke for the Day…”Grandpa…did God make you …? “

 

A girl is sitting on the couch with her grandpa and studying the wrinkles on his old face.

She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles.

She touches her own face and looks more puzzled.

Finally the girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?”

“He sure did honey, a long time ago,” replies her grandpa.

“Well, did God make me?” asks the girl.

“Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago,” answers her grandpa.

“Boy,” says the little girl, “He’s sure doing a lot better job these days isn’t He?”

source….www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan