A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding.
The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?”
The driver says, “Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!”
The cop says, “Really! Why is that?”
The driver replies, “I could not have been going 60 miles an hour because I’ve only been out driving for 25 minutes.”
SOURCE::::: http://www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
An Engineer was unemployed for long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: “Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000.”
One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.
Doctor: “I have lost taste in my mouth.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “This is Gasoline!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.
Doctor: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “But that is Gasoline!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Doctor: “My eyesight has become weak.”
Engineer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000.”
Doctor: “But this is $500…”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”An Engineer was unemployed for long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: “Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000.”
One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.
Doctor: “I have lost taste in my mouth.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “This is Gasoline!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.
Doctor: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “But that is Gasoline!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Doctor: “My eyesight has become weak.”
Engineer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000.”
Doctor: “But this is $500…”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
SOURCE::::: www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
Old man has 8 hair on his head.He went to Barber shop.
Barber in anger asked:
shall i cut or count ?
Old man smiled and said:“Colour it!”
LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling !!!
If you feel STRESSED,
Give yourself A Break.
Enjoy Some..
Icecream
Chocolates
Candy
Cake
Why?
B’Coz
STRESSED if Spelled backwards isDESSERTS !!!
Alphabetic advice for you:
A B C
Avoid Boring Company..D E F
Don’t Entertain Fools..G H I
Go for High Ideas .J K L M
Just Keep a friend like ME..N O P
Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..Q R S
Quit Reacting to Silly tales..T U V
Tune Urself for ur Victory..W X Y Z
We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life
The 26 letters of the English alphabet are so intelligently
arranged…they show you the way of life….“A”lways “B”e “C”ool. “D”on’t have “E”go with “F”riends n Family.
“G”iveup “H”urting “I”ndividuals.”J”ust “K”eep “L”oving “M”ankind.
“N”ever “O”mit “P”rayers. “Q”uietly “R”emember God. “S”peak “T”ruth.
“U”se “V”alid “W”ords. ”SOURCE:::: input from a friend of mineNatarajan
A squirrel is living in a pine tree, when one day it starts to shake and rock.
So he looks outside and he sees a large elephant trying to climb up the tree.
“What the hell!” the squirrel exclaims. “What the hell do you think you’re doing climbing up this tree?!”
The elephant responds. “I’m climbing up here to eat pears.”
The squirrel is befuddled. “You moron! This is a pine tree! There are no pears!”
The elephants stares at him for a moment before replying, “I know. I brought my own.”
SOURCE::::: http://www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
Have a laugh
Why do we sometimes write ‘etc’ at the end in the exam?bcoz it means…
E – End of
T – Thinking
C – Capacity.
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How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife’s Mind 4 u ?
Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying..
“I Luv u too” (GAME OVER!)
———————————–
When do you know u r in love ?
Ans : When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan
———————————–
What is the Difference between Young Age & Old Age?
Simple : In Young Age Phone Is Full Of Darling’s Numbers.
In Old Age : It is Full of Doctors Numbers.
———————————–
“Why is Facebook such a hit ?
It works on the principle that
‘People are more interested in others life than their own.
———————————–
A Question Asked In A Talent Test:If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How would You Recognize Your WIFE?
The Best Answer : Why the Hell Should I recognize ?
What is the diff between “GHAZAL” & “LECTURE” ?
Every word spoken by the girlfriend is “GHAZAL”
and
Every word spoken by wife is “LECTURE”
———————————–
Why does d bride & groom exchange garlands at d time of wedding…..
B’coz they say to each other affectionately that :“DARLING NOW U R DEAD”…
———————————–
What is the height of confusion?
Two earth worms Playing HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.
———————————–
What is the Biggest Benefit of having a crush in
the same college where u study ?
Ans 100% Attendanzzz
———————————–
Teacher: What Is The Difference Between HIMAMI & TSUNAMI ?
Pappu : HIMAMI is Face Wash, TSUNAMI is Total Wash.!
———————————–
When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.
———————————–
Philosophy of marriage :
At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later, somehow don’t know why..
alphabets get reversed..
———————————–
Secret formula for married couples…
“Love One Another”
And if it doesn’t work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!
SOURCE:::: input from a friend of mineNatarajan
A pilot is flying a small single engine plane with a lot of really important execs on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 10m, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous.
At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor.
Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: “Hi, where am I?”
The solitary office worker replies: “You’re in an airplane.”
The pilot executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers asked the pilot how he did it.
“Simple,” replies the pilot, “I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless; therefore, that must be Microsoft’s support office, and from there, the airport is just 5 miles away on a bearing of 87 degrees!”
SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
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The teacher said; “Take a pencil and paper, and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire.'”
Everyone but Joe, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write feverishly.
“What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?”
“I’m waiting for my secretary,” Joe replied.
SOURCE::::www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
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1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Just couldn’t concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, But just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,
but wasn’t suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
 4. Next, I tried working in Starbucks,
But I had to quit because it was the same old grind.
5. Then, I tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it…. I couldn’t cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician,
but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but didn’t have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
Tried hard but just didn’t fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman,
but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.
11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance company ,
but the work was just too draining.
12.. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre,
but they said I wasn’t fit for the job…
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it..
14. My last job was when I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that was too exhausting.
SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT
AND I FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
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SOURCE:::: http://www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan
With great power comes great electricity bill and too much information about what others are doing and too many feeds on your Facebook wall. So much for digitization that you actually know the color of your friend’s pet dog’s vomit or the last time they bought a water bottle.!!!
Here are few Posts found in FB … As per an analysis …
No offence meant for anybody !!!….
Eating pani puri with tinku, minku, chinku and rinku. !!!
That awkward moment when you read that people are having dinner with their family, at home.!!!
Yes girls, Facebook wasn’t meant for this.!!!
So much, so that you won’t recognize them in person.!!!
Seriously. STOP !!!
You know what, it’s not your fault actually. One should totally blame Facebook for adding a feature like that.!!!!
XYZ watching Sasural Simar Ka
On the great green God’s earth, who invented that? !!!
SOURCE:::: http://www.storypick.com
Natarajan
Take off with Natarajan 