Joke of the Day….” What is the moral of this story ….? ” !!!

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe told his story first, “My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket.
Very good,” said the teacher.
Next, Mary said, “We are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks. The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they’re hatched.
Excellent!” said the teacher again, very pleased with the response so far.
Next it was Barney’s turn to tell his story: “My dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen … Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
Go on,” said the teacher, intrigued
Aunt Karen drank the whisky on the way down to prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.
 
Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What did your father say was the moral of that frightening story?
Stay away from Aunt Karen when she’s drunk.”
Source…..www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan

 

joke for the day…” what is he ..deaf or something ” ? !!!

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens – the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me – it’s this bloody horse. What is he – deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf?? DEAF?? You idiot, he’s not deaf – he’s BLIND!

Source….www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke of the day….” What is the most dangerous food …” !

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford on the subject of modern nutrition.
“The rubbish we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realize the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

 

But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
After several seconds of quiet,
a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said:
Wedding Cake?
Source……www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan

Joke of the Day….” They Walked everywhere …” !!!

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and asked his father when they’d be able to have a discussion about using the car.
His father said he’d make a deal with his son. “You need to bring your grades up from a C to a B-average, study the Bible, and get a haircut. Then we’ll talk about the car.’
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer, and they came to an agreement.
After about six weeks, his father said: “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying the Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t cut your hair yet.”
The boy said: “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair – and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair!”
The dad nods wisely, then leans over and whispers to his son:
Did you also notice they walked everywhere?
Source…..www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan

Joke of the Day…”Now there are two …” !!!

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons.

After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.”

The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s.

When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: “Now there are two!”

Source….www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day… ” What did you teach ? ” !!!!

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name.

 

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class, some 30-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Northmont high school.

“Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a thunderbolt,” he said gleaming with pride.

“When did you graduate?” I asked.

He answered, “in 1975. Why do you ask?”

“You were in my class!”, I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely, then, the ugly, old, bald, wrinkle-faced, fat, gray-haired, decrepit fool asked, “What did you teach?”!!!!

 

Source…….www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day… Wrong card…!!!

A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, which said: “Rest in Peace.”

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied:

 “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this – somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying:
Congratulations on your new location!‘”

Source……www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke for the Day…” Is there any cheaper way …” ? !!!

One day, a man walks into a dentist’s office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.

“Eighty dollars,” the dentist says.
“That’s a ridiculous amount,” the man says.
“Isn’t there a cheaper way?”
“Well,” the dentist says, “if you don’t use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60.”
“That’s still too expensive,” replies the man.
“Okay,” says the dentist. “If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20.”

“Nope,” moans the man, “it’s still too much.”
“Well,” says the dentist, scratching his head, “if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10.

“Marvelous,” says the man. “Book my wife in for next Tuesday!”

Source…www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” Oh ….What was that ….” ?!!!

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.

Man: “Ow! What was that for?”

Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?”

Man: “Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on.”

The wife looked all satisfied, apologizes and begins to do work around the house.

Three days later, he’s sitting in his chair again, reading the newspaper. She whacks him with the frying pan once again, this time even harder than she did before.

Man: “OW!! What was that for this time?”

“Your horse just called.”

Source…….www.ba-bamail.com

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This Photographer Will Annoy You And Leave You In Anxious Anticipation…!!!

For Kinfolk Magazine’s recent Adrenaline Issue, photographer Aaron Tilley and Director Kyle Bean were asked to recreate that awful moment when something terrible is just about to happen.

The project emphasizes the curious relationship between what the mind perceives and how the body reacts. The anticipation causes the body to release adrenaline, even if nothing actually happens, and it is believed that this reaction is closely connected to the fight-or-flight response that was so essential for the survival of our early ancestors.

Take a look below to see what they came up with. The pictures are designed to invoke a sense of anxiety and discomfort as we anticipate the sometimes disastrous event that’s just about to occur. Feeling slightly uncomfortable yet?

More info: Aaron Tilley (h/t: Kinfolk Magazinedesignboom)

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Source….www.boredpanda.com

Natarajan