message for the day

He is 100 and She is 99…Meet the Kerala Couple celebrating 82 years of Marriage …

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The Kottayam-based couple studied in the same school and later went on to marry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ask Madhavan Nair and Meenakshi Amma for how long they have been married, and 99-year-old Meenakshi Amma creases her forehead, as if lost in deep thought. Sitting beside her, 100-year-old Madhavan Nair does not need much prodding to remember the year they got married – Malayalam calendar year 1111.

Meenakshi Amma nods in agreement.  “See, he still remembers it so clearly!” she says, breaking into laughter.

(Malayalam calendar year 1111 is the year 1936. According to Malayalam calendar, 2018 is the year 1193.)

The duo celebrated 82 years of their marriage in December 2017 and the milestone also coincided with Madhavan Nair’s 100th birthday.

In their house near Pallikkathode in Kerala’s Kottayam district, Madhavan Nair – who used to be an active member of the Congress party – and his wife Meenakshi Amma, continue to live their “happily ever after” to this day.

When TNM visited the couple, Madhavan Nair and Meenakshi Amma shared their eight decades-long love story. Although the duo first met in school at the age of 8, little did they know that the coming years would bring them together. After a few years of studying in the same class, both Madhavan Nair and Meenakshi Amma moved to different schools.

Together in youth and old age

Having known each other since a very young age, Madhavan Nair and Meenakshi Amma have retold their wedding story many a time to their children, explaining how theirs had been an arranged marriage and not a love marriage. The couple have five children together, all of whom stay in Kottayam.

“It is true that we knew each other from school. We had seen each other, but hadn’t spoken much. What do school kids have to talk to each other at that age? Years later, our families decided to get us married. So that’s how it happened,” Madhavan Nair says.

Asked about the wedding, Madhavan Nair’s recollection is matter-of-fact: “It was a simple ceremony, no pomp and show like today’s weddings. The wedding took place at her (Meenakshi Amma) house. I tied the thaali around her neck, gave her the pudava (saree) and there was a meal afterwards. That’s how simple the wedding was.”

After a moment’s pause, Madhavan Nair continues: “During our times, nobody got married in temples like now, and young people never eloped! The weddings used to happen at the brides’ house.”

When asked whether they feel the weight of 82 long years, the two of them smile. This writer was charmed to see Madhavan Nair’s toothless grin while Meenakshi Amma guffawed loudly, displaying her perfectly aligned teeth.

The years where Madhavan Nair was involved in party and social work had not been easy on his family, he admits. The odd working hours and the long absence from home did not exactly bode well for a harmonious family life. But Meenakshi Amma is in no mood to send her husband on a guilt trip.

“People would come to get him. He would go with them and share whatever knowledge he had. It never bothered me, since I knew he was going on work and not for anything else. He would return home after work for sure,” Meenakshi Amma says.

However, Madhavan Nair has for long withdrawn from his years of active social life, and now spends most of his time at home. While minor health issues do trouble Meenakshi Amma, Madhavan Nair likes to dismiss age-related woes.

Despite having to rely on a walking stick, the 100-year-old is young at heart.

“I walk around the house and the yard at times. With this walking stick, I can walk as far as I can. But I am not so young any more, I have no teeth left and I don’t think I look good with this toothless grin!” Madhavan Nair says.

Visuals by Lenin CV

Source….Megha Varier in https://www.thenewsminute.com

Natarajan

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When your parents agree to watch your children, this is a convenient arrangement in every respect, but in order for it to work best for all parties, it is important to have some basic rules so that your parents don’t feel like substitute parents or like they are “working for you.” If you stop asking for their help and start demanding it, if you want them to follow all your rules, and if you involve your partner in arguments between you and your parents, you should reconsider your behavior and read the following tips for maintaining a relationship with grandparents who care for their grandkids.

1. Don’t take your parents for granted

Within our family unit, we tend to forget that those around us are people with needs and limitations of their own, just like us. This is even truer when our parents become caregivers to our children. Although grandchildren sometimes seem to be a source of happiness and enjoyable pastime for your parents, remember that they have other interests. Don’t assume that your parents are always available for you or want to help all the time. Ask for help and don’t demand it, and know when you should hold back and not burden them, even considering their age limitations.

If your parents took care of your children all week, you might want to reconsider asking them to babysit Saturday night. Despite the grinding routine, it must be remembered that our parents also need their own free time, a listening ear and someone who would like to spend time with them talking about things that concern them. Look for shared time with your parents where you can recharge them with energy and build up your relationship.

2. Be a little laxer on your rules

Every parent has rules and methods when raising their children; some don’t want their children to watch television, some don’t want them eating candy, and some schedule tutors immediately after the kids come home from school. Whatever your rules are, when your children are under your parents care for a long time, you may need to be a bit more flexible with your rules.

Keep in mind that your parents can’t meet all your conditions and expectations and might even choose to break your rules, whether it’s because that’s what they’re used to, or maybe because they want to spoil and treat their grandkids. As long as your parents do not do something that compromises your child’s physical and mental well-being, think your rules over, and decide which one you can be more flexible with, and which ones you aren’t budging on.

3. Offer payment for special expenses

Even if in most cases your parents won’t ask for compensation for taking care of your children, remember that they have additional expenses on the days they take care of and spend time with your little ones. If grandparents take the grandchildren for a meal at a restaurant, for a day at the mall, or to the zoo, the experience usually involves quite a bit of an expense. Offer to pay them back, or even leave some money with them beforehand. Even if the offer is rejected by your parents, be sure to offer them money from time to time to show them that their help isn’t expected or taken for granted.

4. Say thank you and buy them a gift

Your parents don’t take care of their grandchildren in order to receive a gift. They do so for a variety of reasons related to helping you and just loving and wanting to spend time with their family. Despite all this, all of us, old and young, need recognition and reinforcement. Thank your parents and don’t take their help for granted, even if they’re guilty of doing so themselves. Buy them a nice gift and write a thank you card to remind them of your appreciation of their dedication and help. In order to repay your parents in another way, try to help them in areas where they have difficulty as in small renovations or house maintenance.

5. Don’t involve your partner in arguments with your parents

It is natural and common for you to have occasional disagreements with your parents about issues related to the care and education of your kids, and it’s even recommended that you have an open conversation with them about the issues that concern you, but be sure to do so without involving your partner. Your parents may feel uncomfortable or even attacked, in the presence of a more distant person like your spouse, even if they like and get along with them. If you can’t overcome the problem alone, you can lean on your partner for support, but first, try to talk to your parents privately and remember that they have only good intentions for you and their grandchildren.

6. Encourage your child to respect your parents

Do you come across situations where your children are cheeky to your parents? Do they demand instead of ask, treat your parents with contempt and perhaps maybe even curse them out? Just before you scold them, ask yourself whether your children are just copying the nature of the relationship they have seen between you and your parents. Remember that personal example is the main way children learn about relationships.

Beyond setting a personal example, make sure to praise and thank your parents in front of your children; you can tell them for example how Grandpa once managed to fix the car during a family trip or how Grandma sewed you the most beautiful costume in school. Beyond that, it is important that you teach your child how to deal respectably with arguments and disagreements in general, and with their grandparents in particular.

7. Clean up after yourself

After a whole day in the company of children, everyone’s house looks completely different – toys everywhere, puzzles scattered all over the floor, half-eaten candy and dirty dishes all over the place. It may be that in your home this doesn’t really bother you, but when your children spend time with your parents, it isn’t fair to leave their home messy. Make sure that the kids clean up the mess they made, and do it yourself if your child is too young to do It themselves.

8. Make your home accessible to parents

Technology has become a part of our lives whether we like it or not. Even those who are deterred by innovations have to adapt to a new era and can even finally discover that they like the new possibilities. Many of our parents have a smartphone and a Facebook account and get along very well.

However, it is worth remembering that each device and software has its own complex operating system. When your parents come to your home to watch your children, let them feel comfortable and give them access to all the tools you have in your home. Be sure to explain to your parents how to operate all electronic devices putting special emphasis on the TV, computer, microwave and other appliances that they will most likely want to use.

9. Don’t have your parents cook and clean

You may never have asked your parents to fold your laundry or cook dinner. They just see a pile of clothes on the sofa in the living room and fold it on their own. But what starts out as a small initiative can become an abysmal routine in which most household chores, including cleaning, cooking, children’s showers and even homework help, are done by your parents. In some cases, your parents also drive your kids to afterschool activities.

You may think that your parents are just doing these things to kill time, but no one actually wants to do these menial tasks, especially considering that your parents have to clean up their own home. Just let your parents know that that isn’t something they have to do, and to just enjoy the time with their grandchildren.

Once your kids get older and you no longer need your parents to watch them, they’ll be teenagers managing their own schedules. In order to maintain the relationship between them and keep it deep, mutual and ongoing, make sure that it isn’t based solely on supervision and fulfillment of tasks.

Encourage your children to get off their phones and talk to their grandparents, take an interest in them, discover more of their life story and family heritage. On the other hand, encourage your parents to play with their grandchildren and open up to them not only as grandparents but as human beings. You will find that even when your children grow up and get older, they’ll still want to visit their grandparents and the bond between them will accompany them for the rest of their lives.

Source….www.ba-ba mail.com
Natarajan

Message for the Day…” All energy and all bliss are within us. It is because of ignorance that people are resorting to all kinds of useless and unnecessary exercises. Have full faith in your spiritual power (Atma-shakti).”

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Pray to God and draw from Him the magnet of His grace and offer to the world the power of His electrical energy. This is the energy which everyone can mobilise for common good. It is all-powerful, because it is divine. It is within you. What a pity that people should be unaware of this and feel themselves powerless! All energy and all bliss are within us. It is because of ignorance that people are resorting to all kinds of useless and unnecessary exercises. Have full faith in your spiritual power (Atma-shakti). Adhere to the truth of your faith, without criticising others. Open your hearts and close your mouths. Today people are doing exactly the opposite. Practise silence as far as possible. The one who talks much will do little. One who acts will talk little. Whatever you do, have the name of the Lord on your lips and faith in God in your heart. Thereby work will be transformed into worship.

Source….http://media.radiosai.org/

Natarajan

வாரம் ஒரு கவிதை….” அந்நாளே திருநாள் …”….2

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அந்நாளே  திருநாள் …
————————-
“உங்க வாக்கு எனக்கு தேவை …
என் சேவை உங்களுக்கு தேவை ..”
என்று சொல்லி யார் கொடுக்கும்
இலவசமும் வேண்டாம் எனக்கு…அது எனக்கு விஷம்
என்று  நீ  உறுதிபட சொல்லும் அந்த நாளே
ஒரு திருநாள் தம்பி !
என் தேவை என்ன என்று புரிந்து நீ
எனக்கு சேவை செய்வாயா  …இல்லை
வெற்றி முகம் பார்த்தவுடன்  யார் நீ என்று
உனக்கு வாக்களித்த என்னையே நீ திருப்பிக்
கேட்பாயா ?…என் வாக்கு உனக்கு நான்
அளிக்கும் முன் நீ தர வேண்டும் எனக்கு ஒரு உறுதி மொழி !
” நான்  உண்மை  ஊழியன் என்றும் உனக்கு ” என்று !
மக்கள் ஊழியரிடம் உறுதி  மொழி  இதை நீ
கேட்டு பெறும் அந்த  நாள் …ஒரு திருநாள் தம்பி !
வெற்றிக்கனி பறித்து ஆட்சியில் அமர்ந்து அதிகார
மமதையில் மக்களின் தேவை என்ன என்பதை
மறந்து தங்கள் தேவை என்ன என்றே குறி
வைத்து காய் நகர்த்தும் உன்  ” ஊழியரை “
அடையாளம் கண்டு அவர் செய்யும் வேலைக்கு நீ
கொடுத்த உத்தரவைத் திரும்பப் பெறும் அதிகாரம்
உனக்கு கிடைக்கும் அந்த நாள் …ஒரு திருநாள் !
தன்  பதவி நிரந்தரம் அல்ல … ஜன நாயக
மன்னன் நீ   நினைத்தால் “மக்கள் ஊழியன் “
என்னும் பதவி  ,  பதவிக் காலம்
முடியும் முன்பே கூட  பறி போகும் என்னும்
அச்சம் உன் ஊழியனுக்கு வரும் அந்த நாள்
எனக்கும் உனக்கும் மட்டும் அல்ல …நம்
ஜன நாயகத்துக்கே ஒரு திருநாள் !
வரவேண்டும் விரைவில் அந்த திருநாள் !
பெற வேண்டும் நம் ஜன நாயகம் ஒரு
மறு மலர்ச்சி !
Natarajan
18th Feb 2018

வாரம் ஒரு கவிதை ….” அந்நாளே திருநாள் “

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அந்நாளே  திருநாள் …
…………………….
அந்த காலம் மாதிரி வருமா …அந்த நாள்
ஒரு திருநாள் … என் தாத்தா சொல்லி
நான் கேட்டேன் !
உன் காலம் எல்லாம் அந்த நாள் போல
இல்லை … நான் வாழ்ந்த அந்த நாள்
தினமும் ஒரு திருநாள்தான் ! என் அப்பா
சொல்லியும் கேட்டு  விட்டேன் நான் !
நானும் என் பிள்ளைக்கு சொல்லி வளர்த்தேன்
அவனை … நான் பார்த்த அந்த நாள்   ஒரு திருநாள் …
என் காலம் போல இல்லையே  உன் காலம் தம்பி  என்று !
இந்த நாள் இருக்கலாம் ஒரு திருநாள்
இல்லாத நாளாக … இனி வரும் காலம்
தினம் தினம் திருநாளாக இருக்க வேண்டும்
என் அன்பு பேரனே !
இது ஒரு தாத்தாவின் வெட்டி ஆசை இல்லை !
உன் காலத்தில் நீ வாழப் போகும்  மண்ணில்
நீ காணப்போகும்  புதிய பாரதத்தின்  புதிய முகம்
பார்க்க இந்த தாத்தா உனக்கு தரும் புது நம்பிக்கை !
நம்பிக்கை விதை விதைத்து விட்டேன் உன் மனதில்
அதை செடியாகி நல்ல கனி தரும் மரமாக்கி அதன்
நிழலில் நீ சொல்ல வேண்டும் உன் பிள்ளையிடம்
” என் அப்பா தாத்தா காலத்தில் இல்லாத வளமும்
  சுபிக்ஷமும் இப்போ உன் காலத்தில் இருக்கு கண்ணே
  நம் மண்ணில் … இந்த காலம் நம் மண்ணுக்கு
  ஒரு பொற்காலம் … “
அந்த நாள் போல இந்த நாள் இல்லை என்னும் பழைய
பல்லவி நீ பாடாமல், இந்த நாள் போல் அந்த நாள் இல்லை
என்று நீ உன்  பிள்ளையிடம் சொல்லப் போகும் அந்த நாள்
நிச்சயம் ஒரு திருநாள் நம் மண்ணுக்கு !
Natarajan
In http://www.dinamani.com  dated 17 Feb 2018

Message for the Day …” It is an uphill task to reform one’s tendencies and character. “

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You may have the best of vegetables, you may be the most capable cook, but if the copper vessel in which you prepare the vegetable soup is not tinned, the dish you cook will be highly poisonous! So ‘tin’ your heart with satya, dharma, shanti and prema (truth, right conduct, peace and divine love), it will then become a vessel fit for repeating the holy name, and for meditation, religious vows, pilgrimage, ritualistic worship and other dishes that you prepare in it. It is an uphill task to reform one’s tendencies and character. You may study all the text-books of spiritual practice, all the scriptures, and may even lecture for hours on them, but you will slip into error when temptation confronts you. The heart may appear like a land that is parched and free from any crop of evil, but when the first showers fall, the seeds and roots underneath the soil change the waste into a carpet of green. That is why the human values are so essential.

Source….http://media.radiosai.org

Natarajan

Message for the Day…” Every individual must love God to redeem their lives. You are endowed with a body only to practice righteousness. Do not lead an idle life.”

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There are many, maybe a few lakhs or crores, who call themselves devotees of Sai. Even if one Sai devotee practices sacrifice and truth, the whole world would become a better place. Truth and spirit of sacrifice are the two primary principles that are necessary to change the world. Truth sanctifies the heart, and the sense of sacrifice leads us to the renunciation of the worldly. Through these two, one can experience the import of the statement, Antar bahischa tat sarvam vyapya Narayana stitaha – The Lord pervades all space, within and without. In the absence of this true knowledge people indulge in the worldly and transient things from birth till death. How then can they redeem themselves and attain liberation? Every individual must love God to redeem their lives. You are endowed with a body only to practice righteousness. Do not lead an idle life.

Source…http://media.radiosai.org

Natarajan

Message for the Day…” ” Will you become bad if someone calls you bad? No! If they call you bad, try to become free of bad qualities, if they are present in you. If someone points out a mistake, try to free yourself from that mistake if it’s there in you – that’s all!” Handle criticism gracefully”

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Remove all negative feelings. Develop more and more positive thoughts. Along the way some might criticise you, that’s an opportunity of transformation for you! Think this way, “My parents gave me one name, friends gave another name and others gave me a nickname! This body has many names, that’s all!” Will you become bad if someone calls you bad? No! If they call you bad, try to become free of bad qualities, if they are present in you. If someone points out a mistake, try to free yourself from that mistake if it’s there in you – that’s all!” Handle criticism gracefully. Embodiments of love! In this Kali age, when desires are not fulfilled, people start blaming even God! Don’t hate anybody and don’t accuse anybody; as much as possible, love all and if not possible, at least don’t hate anyone. Bhagawan wants all to develop the spirit of oneness and unity.

Source….http://media.radiosai.org

Natarajan

Message for the Day…” You may doubt whether a small word like Rama, Sai or Krishna can ferry you across the boundless sea of worldly life. People cross vast oceans on a tiny raft; they can walk through dark jungles with a tiny lamp in their hands. The name Pranava (Om) which is even smaller, has vast potentialities. “

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You may doubt whether a small word like Rama, Sai or Krishna can ferry you across the boundless sea of worldly life. People cross vast oceans on a tiny raft; they can walk through dark jungles with a tiny lamp in their hands. The name Pranava (Om) which is even smaller, has vast potentialities. The raft need not be as big as the sea. Recitation of Lord’s Name is like the operation of boring to tap underground water; it’s like the chisel-stroke that will release the image of God imprisoned in the marble. Break the encasement and the Lord will appear; cleave the pillar, as Prahlada asked his father Hiranyakasipu to do, and the Lord who is ever-present will manifest Himself. Every mother teaches her daughter to churn and bring the butter latent in the milk into view. Similarly in the spiritual field, learn from yogis who gained and offered that fresh butter (navaneetam) to Krishna by reciting His Name.

Source…http://media.radiosai.org/

Natarajan

Message for the Day…” Love Him, adore Him, worship Him, say the Vedas. This is the grand philosophy of love as elaborated in the Vedas. “

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Developing faith in the Atma principle and loving it earnestly — this is the real worship. The Atma is the one and only Loved One for humanity. Feel that it is more lovable than any object here or hereafter — that is the true adoration one can offer to God. This is what the Vedas teach. The Vedas do not teach acceptance of a bundle of frightfully hard rules and restrictions; they do not hold before one a prison house where one is shut in by the bars of cause and effect. They teach us that there is One who is the sovereign behind all those rules and restrictions; One who is the core of each object, each unit of energy, and each particle or atom; and One under whose orders alone the five elements — ether, air, fire, water, earth — do operate. Love Him, adore Him, worship Him, say the Vedas. This is the grand philosophy of love as elaborated in the Vedas.

Source…http://media.radiosai.org

Natarajan