Jokes for the Weekend…..

“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another.
“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”
…………..
A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”
“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking ….

.………………………..

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant,
His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?”
The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
……………………..
This little computer,” said the a sales clerk, “will do half your job for you.”
The senior manager studying the machine made his decision; “Fine, I’ take two.  
………………………
The VP hobbled in to his house and was greeted by his wife.
“Dear,” she said, startled, “what are you doing home so early?”
“The boss and I had a fight,” he grumbled. “He would not take back what he said.”
Glowing with pride, his wife asked, “what did he say?
The VP shrugged. “You’re fired.”

………………………….

As a member of an Internet awareness survey team, we had visited a home. The unruly owner asked, “Tell me the difference between washing machine & Internet?” When I was cursing my luck, my colleague answered, “The former washes your cloth and the later washes your brain.”

……………………..

Bill attended a party where he met an old acquaintance, “Hello, Sam,” he said. “How’s your clothing business? I heard you lost a lot on that fall shipment of dresses.”
“That’s right,” Sam responded.
“And you almost went bankrupt.”
“That’s true too.”
“But I understand you made a big profit on another shipment and wound up having a pretty good season after all.”
“That’s correct. Then I guess you heard all about it, Bill.”
“Yeah,” Bill answered, “but this is the first time I’m hearing all the details.”
……………………………………
A man went to a bank and gave them 60 000$ worth of bonds to hold for him and he asked to take out a loan of 1$. The next year he came back to the bank to get his bonds and the accountant asked him “If you have all that money in bonds, why did you need to borrow 1$.” The man replied, “Do you know any other way I can use a safety deposit box for only 7 cents a year?”

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SOURCE:::::joke  a day .com
natarajan

Message For the Day…”Have Pure Thoughts…Get Your Body &Senses Purified…”

If you throw a pebble in a pond, a small ripple originates and spreads until the end of the river. You may or may not be able to see, but the ripple starts right at the point where the stone meets the water. Similarly, in the lake of your mind, when you throw a stone of thought, ripples of thought waves start spreading throughout your body. The same ripple reflects in your eyes, brain, ears, heart and also in your hands and legs. Hence you must be very careful with the kind of thoughts that you permit to pervade your personality. When you get pure thoughts, all your senses will be purified by it. However, if you get bad thoughts, your senses will be perverted and this will quickly spread to your eyes, heart, hand and brain. Always have pure thoughts. If you do so, your body, senses and actions will be purified.

 

Sathya Sai Baba

” Phones Become Smart and People are Running Mad After Phones ” !!!

Mobiles

Interesting and Very True!!!

Mobile Aya
Camera Khatam

Mobile Aya
Wrist Watch Khatam

Mobile Aya
Torch Khatam

Mobile Aya
Radio Khatam

Mobile Aya
MP3 Khatam

Mobile Aya
Letters Khatam

Mobile Aya
Calculator Khatam

Mobile Aya
Computer Khatam

Mobile Aya
Sakoon Khatam

Aur agar apka
“Mobile” ap ki”Girlfriend/wife/husband” ke haath aya toh
Maa Kasam aap “Khatam.”

Ek dum latest …
Badalti Duniya Ka aisa Asar Hone Laga,
Aadmi pagal Aur Phone Smart Hone Laga

source::::input from a friend of mine

natarajan

Message for the Day…” How to do Meditation …” ?

During meditation, care must be taken to keep the back straight and steady without bending forward or backward or sideward. If you bend or move, misdirection of highly potent energy (Kundalini) can occur resulting in mental derangement. Also wear loose clothes. Your eyes must concentrate on the tip of the nose. They must be half-open, so you are neither distracted nor falling asleep. Free your mind from bad thoughts and fill it with sacred ones. To achieve this, you must control your senses. Your ears must be trained to listen only to noble and elevating ideas, and to eschew evil speech and gossip. Your eyes must be tuned to see the Divine. The restless mind must be restrained by making it concentrate on inhalation and exhalation while incessantly repeating the Mantra‘So-Ham’ (I am He). Through these postures and activities, your life-breath is controlled and this will ensure that the great power of Yoga is revealed unto you.   

Sathya Sai Baba

Jokes for the Day !!!

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The storeowner replies “I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale.

The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you twenty dollars for that cat.”

And the owner says “Sold,” and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, “Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me from having to get a dish.”

And the owner says, “Sorry buddy, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats.”   

…………………………

 

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?”
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. and I’ve never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay here, too.”
Two monkeys were sitting in a tree and two lions were sleeping below them. One monkey said to the other monkey “I dare you to go down there and kick one of those lions in the rear end.” The other monkey said o.k. I’ll go down there and kick him in the rear end as hard as I can. So he goes down the tree and kicks the lion as hard as he can and takes off swinging through the trees. The lion starts to chase him. He keeps getting closer, and closer until the monkeys thinks “Man I better do something quick or that lion is going to eat me for lunch. So he keeps swinging until the lion is pretty far behind him and he sees a newspaper lying on the ground. So he picks it up and starts to read it. All of a sudden the lion catches up to him and says, “Did you see a monkey run by here?” The monkey goes, “You mean the one that kicked that lion in the rear end?” And the lion says,”Dang it was in the paper already?”

source::::::joke a day.com

natarajan

Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/clasificacion.asp?ID=4&Pagina=18#ixzz2ubVNYQrl

 

Message for the Day…” How ‘shavam'(corpse) can become Shivam(God)”…

The chief objective of all Sadhana (spiritual striving) is to eliminate the mind, to become A-manaska. Then illusion will disappear and Reality will be revealed. During the dark fortnight of the month, Sadhana must be done to eliminate a fraction of the mind each day; for, every day, a fraction of the Moon is shrinking. On Chathurdasi (the 14th night), the night of Shiva, only a fraction of the moon remains. If some special effort is made that night, through more intensive and vigilant Sadhana, like pujajapamdhyana (ritual worship & meditation), success is ensured. Hence, Shiva must be meditated upon that night, every month, without the mind straying towards thoughts of sleep or food. Once a year, on Mahashivaratri, a special spurt of spiritual activity is recommended, so that the Shavam (corpse) can become Shivam(God), through perpetual awareness of its Divine Indweller. Dedicate the vigil of this Shivaratri night to the Shiva present within each one of you.    

Sathya Sai Baba

 

Message For the Day…” Meditation Means Offering the Flower of Love to the Divine…”

Meditation is a process that takes place beyond the senses. Consider a rose plant with branches, leaves, flowers and thorns. Locating a rose plant with a flower in a garden requires concentration. Once we have concentrated and identified the flower, the next stage is to pluck it without the thorns. Love is the flower, lust is the thorn. We have to carefully pluck the flower, without the thorn. This is contemplation. Having plucked the flower, what do we do with it? We must offer it to the Lord. Thus, meditation means offering the flower of love to the Divine. In the rose plant of our body, there is the rose of pure and sacred love, emitting the fragrance of good qualities. Below the rose, however, there are thorns in the form of sensual desires. The purpose of this life and meditation is to separate the rose of selfless Love from the senses and offer it to the Lord.   

Sathya Sai Baba