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Interesting read
Laughter …..The Best Medicine For Stress !!!!!!!!!!!
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer ‘Ask him where the $10 million bucks he embezzled from me is’. The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper: “Where is the money?”
The bookkeeper signs back: ‘I don’t know what you are talking about’. The attorney tells the Godfather: ‘He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about’. The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper’s temple and says, ‘Ask him again!’ The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: ‘He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him!’ The bookkeeper signs back: ‘OK! OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in Queens!’
The Godfather asks the attorney: ‘Well, what’d he say?’
The attorney replies: ‘He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger’!!!!!!!!!!!.
A man is driving down the road somewhat erratically. A cop notices this and pulls him over; he walks up to the window and says:
“Sir, I believe you’re drunk. I’m going to administer a breathalyzer test.”
Man, sheepishly: “Oh, I’m sorry officer, I’m a severe asthmatic, and I don’t have my inhaler with me…if I blow into that thing I could have an attack and die”
Cop, a little distrustful: “Uh, yeah…well, this is more invasive, but if you won’t submit to a breathalyzer, I’m going to have to take you down to the station and take blood.”
Man: “Yeah, well, see, the thing is, I’m a terrible hemophiliac, and so I can’t give blood…I might die.”
Cop, clearly frustrated: “Alright buddy, well, this is imprecise, but I’m going to have to have you get out of your vehicle and walk this line heel-toe.”
Man: “Oh, I’m sorry officer, I can’t do that, I’m drunk.”
source::::::babamail
Natarajan
Message For The Day….Know Yourself First and Experience The Bliss!!!
The greatest defect today is the absence of Self-Inquiry (Aathma Vichara), which is the root cause of all restlessness. If you are eager to know the truth about yourself, then you will never go astray. All pots are made of mud, all ornaments of gold, and all clothes are of yarn. Here, even though you see so much diversity, there is a unity. The basic substance of everyone is the Supreme Self (Brahman). It is your basis too! Just as a river’s flow is regulated by the bunds, and flood waters are directed to the sea, so too the Upanishads regulate and restrict the senses, mind and intellect, to help you reach the Divine and merge the individual in the Absolute. Scanning a map or a guide book will not give you even a fraction of joy of the actual visit! Scriptures are only maps and guidebooks. Act in accordance and experience bliss.
source:::::Swami Sathya Sai …
Laugh It Off !!!!….Going To Land In Sun !!!!
DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?’ The other blonde turns and says ‘Hello,it is Florida. Can you see Florida? But you can see the moon.’
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!’
RIVER WALK
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I get to the other side?’
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You ARE already on the other side.’
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
‘Impossible!’ says the doctor.. ‘Show me.’
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?
‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’
‘I thought so,’ the doctor said, ‘Your finger is broken.’
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’
‘NO!’ the blonde yelled back, ‘IT IS A SCARF!’
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’
The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’
The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’ The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!’ said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night… It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’ She thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?’ ‘HELLLOOOOOOO……,’ answered the blonde. ‘They’re watch dogs’!
source::::::input from a friend of mine….
Natarajan
No!!!…This Is Not a Prank Call !!!
A lady rang up St. Joseph ‘s Hospital and timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”
The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear, if you tell me the name and room number of the patient?” The sweet lady in a weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”
The operator said, “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.”
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, “I have good news…. Her nurse just told me that Norma is going normal…. Her blood pressure is fine, her blood report just came in and – all is ok, and by the way her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.”
The sweet lady said, “Thank you… That’s wonderful..!! I was so worried. God bless you for the good news..!!”
The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome… Is Norma your daughter?”
The lady said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302… No one tells me anything”
source::::: input from one of my friends…
Natarajan
” That is What I am Doing Now ” !!!
Short story with Great Morals
One day a rich Westerner who had made sqillions from speculating on the stock market was strolling along the beach and saw the fisherman pulling in his boat with his meager catch.
The rich Westerner stopped and remarked “not much of a catch today”. The fisherman replied “yes not much” but explained that his small catch was enough for him and his family.
The rich Westerner asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“I sleep late, play with my children and have an afternoon’s rest under a coconut tree. In the evenings, I go to the local pub to see my friends, play some music, and sing a few songs….. I have a full and happy life.” replied the fisherman.
The rich Westerner ventured, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you…… You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.
With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have a large fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to a city from where you can direct your huge enterprise.”
“And after that?” asked the fisherman.
“After that? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the rich Westerner, laughing, “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stock in your company and make millions!”
“Millions? Really? And after that?” pressed the fisherman.
“After that you’ll be able to retire, move out to a small village by the sea, sleep in late every day, spend time with your family, go fishing, take afternoon naps under a coconut tree, and spend relaxing evenings with friends…”
The rich Westerner stopped and remarked “not much of a catch today”. The fisherman replied “yes not much” but explained that his small catch was enough for him and his family.
The rich Westerner asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“I sleep late, play with my children and have an afternoon’s rest under a coconut tree. In the evenings, I go to the local pub to see my friends, play some music, and sing a few songs….. I have a full and happy life.” replied the fisherman.
The rich Westerner ventured, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you…… You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.
With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have a large fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to a city from where you can direct your huge enterprise.”
“And after that?” asked the fisherman.
“After that? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the rich Westerner, laughing, “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stock in your company and make millions!”
“Millions? Really? And after that?” pressed the fisherman.
“After that you’ll be able to retire, move out to a small village by the sea, sleep in late every day, spend time with your family, go fishing, take afternoon naps under a coconut tree, and spend relaxing evenings with friends…”
At this the fisherman exclaimed “that is what I am doing now.”.!!!!!!
If you ever get a chance, think about the moral of the story..Dont get so engrossed in making profits that you lose the people who matter the most to you.. Dont get so busy in making your future so bright that your present becomes dark..Dont run so fast that your not able to breathe the fresh air and enjoy the beautiful nature around you. Dont ever make the mistake of thinking that money can buy everything because money still does not have the power to buy love or true friendship..Counting money might seem great but counting your blessings is even greater . And living a life with happiness, love, peace of mind and God’s devotion in your heart is the greatest of all..Think about it , you might not agree with me today but may be someday- this story will definetly make sense..
source:::::: input from a Sai Devotee…
Natarajan
Just For Laugh !!!!….Kids Present a ” Laugh Burst ” !!!!!!!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.
The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’
The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’
The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘They will… in a minute.’
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, ‘Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?’
Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, ‘Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?’
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ‘And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.’
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
‘Take only ONE . God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’
source:::::input from a friend of mine ….
Natarajan
Message For The Day…Tastes May Please the Tongue But do not Give Peace to Mind !!!
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Is IKEA a Home Away From Home !!!!
First, Ikea transformed apartments around the world with its stylish and affordable furniture. Now the Swedish furniture giant wants to design your home away from home.
Ikea’s parent company, Inter Ikea Group, is teaming up with Marriott International to develop Moxy, a new chain of stylish budget hotels for the European market.
Their plan is to open 150 hotels in 10 countries over the next 10 years – including Germany, the United Kingdom, Italy, the Netherlands, Norway, and of course, Sweden – starting with a debut in Milan in early 2014.
With rooms starting at around 60 euros a night, Moxy is clearly aiming for much the same audience as Ikea. But don’t expect to stow your belongings inExpedit cubbies before drifting off to sleep on a Sultan mattress. Moxy won’t use Ikea furniture. Nor will the hotels be cavernous warehouse spaces decorated in bold blue-and-yellow colour schemes. Guestrooms in the 150- to 300-room hotels will feature large flat-screen TVs, wall socket USB ports and free wi-fi, designed in a colour palette of calming neutral tones instead.
Moxy’s decision to forgo Ikea’s furniture and colour scheme raises the question: is the Ikea association a double-edged sword? For some travellers, an Ikea-inspired hotel sounds like a stylish, affordable option. But others might be haunted by one too many experiences with 13-page instruction manuals, dozens of oddly-named screws and mammoth assembly sessions (not to mention horsemeat-tainted Swedish meatballs and contaminated almond cakes).
However, Moxy looks to be entering the hotel market smartly and strategically. For starters, it isn’t targeting all travellers – just younger, budget-conscious ones who appreciate technology and design. And in so doing, it’s actually filling a void in the market.
Though Europe is rife with budget hotels and hostels, the vast majority are known more for their sober, no-frills approach than their style quotient. It appears that Moxy plans to bridge that gap, bringing affordability and style to a design-savvy continent ravaged by austerity measures. It’s also targeting clever locations around office parks, airports, and bus and train stations, ideal spots to snag budget-minded business travellers and backpackers alike.
Cooking Oil Powers TransAtlantic Flights !!!!!
Dutch airline KLM has begun powering some commercial flights on an eco-friendly fuel mix that includes 25% cooking oil and 75% jet fuel.
The same oil that fried up your lunch might be powering your next flight to Europe.
Dutch airline KLM has begun powering some commercial flights on an eco-friendly fuel mix that includes 25% cooking oil and 75% jet fuel. The cooking oil-fuelled Boeing 777 flights will be tested on 25 roundtrip transatlantic flights between New York’s JFK and Amsterdam’s Schiphol every Thursday for the next six months.
The leftover waste oil comes from restaurants in the southern US state of Louisiana, where it’s used to fry up cracklins, catfish and other Cajun treats before being refined at a plant near Baton Rouge and trucked to New York to fuel the flights.
Though some say the fuel smells like fast food, the cooking oil is safe for powering jumbo jets and provides exactly the same flying experience. Even better, it reduces carbon emissions by up to 80%.
It’s indistinguishable on a molecular level from regular kerosene jet fuel, Captain Rick Shouten, who piloted the maiden flight last week, told the New York Post. “For pilots, it’s totally transparent. It’s as if you’re flying a normal aircraft.”
KLM has been offering biofuel-powered flights for years, with its first demonstration flight fuelled by a mix of 50% biofuel made from camelina (an oily member of the mustard family) in November 2009. And while the Dutch airline started regularly using recycled cooking oil on some commercial flights between Amsterdam and Paris in June 2011, this latest usage represents the first time biofuels will be used on a regular weekly schedule on transatlantic flights.
What’s the future of cooking oil-fuelled flights?
In the near term, it’s more likely cooking oil will by frying up your French fries and falafels rather than fuelling your flight. That’s because biofuels made from recycled cooking oil are expensive – about $10 per gallon, or roughly three times the price of regular jet fuel – largely due to the costs of refining and preparing the oil for use on jumbo jets.
Most recycled cooking oil today is used to power diesel trucks or mixed with home heating fuel, a simpler conversion process. One innovative company,Grease Lightning, based in New York City, has been purchasing used cooking oil from local restaurants to convert into biodiesel fuel since 2011. And several Boston hotels, including the Saunders Hotel, Lenox Hotel, and Ramada Inn Boston, are using recycled vegetable oil to fuel their laundry trucks and hotel shuttle buses.
Although the sustainability of these alternative biofuels makes it an environmentally friendly option for progressive airlines, widespread adoption of recycled cooking oil requires that usage spreads, making the fuel more affordable for budget-strapped airlines.
The air travel community is hoping for financial support from the governments where major airlines are based in the form of subsidies, research grants and tax benefits.
“A lot still has to happen before biofuel will be available on a large scale and for it to be economically competitive in relation to fossil-fuel kerosene,” KLM said in a statement. “We cannot achieve this alone. We absolutely need the commitment and support of all the relevant parties: business, government and society.”
source:::::bbc.com.travel
Natarajan
Take off with Natarajan 