Joke of the Day… ” You Tell Me …Sir…” !!!

The Study of Birds –

Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. Joe was ready.

The morning of the test, Joe entered the auditorium and took a seat in the front row. On the table in the front was a row of ten stuffed birds. Each bird had a sack covering its body, and only the legs were showing. When class started, the professor announced that the students were to identify each bird by looking at its legs and give its common name, species, habitat, mating habits, etc.

Joe looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He started to get angry. He had stayed up all night studying for this test and now he had to identify birds by their LEGS? The more he thought about the situation, the angrier he got.

Finally he reached his boiling point. He stood up, marched up to the professor’s desk, crumpled up his exam paper and threw it on the desk. “What a ridiculous test!” he told the prof. “How could anyone tell the difference between these birds by looking at their legs? This exam is the biggest rip-off I’ve ever seen!”

With that, Joe turned and stormed toward the exit. The professor was a bit shocked, and it took him a moment to regain his composure. Then, just as Joe was about to walk out the door, the prof shouted out, “Wait a minute, young man, what’s your name?”

Joe turned around, pulled up his pant legs and hollered, “You tell me, prof! You tell me!”

SOURCE::::::: http://www.joke a day.com

Natarajan

” A story that is not a laughing stuff…” !!!

John had a  terrible accident at work – he fell against a grinding machine and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way.

One day, John decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business called Mixitup Communications.  After weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But, after signing on the dotted line, he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him.

The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, John asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?”  And the gentleman answered, “Why yes, I couldn’t help but notice you have no ears.” John got very angry and threw him out.

The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question,  “Do you notice anything different about me?” and she replied: “Well, you have no ears.”  John again was upset and tossed her out.

The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart. He was handsome. And he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. John was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: “Do you notice anything different about me?”
And to his surprise, the young man answered: “Yes. You wear contact lenses.” John was delighted, and said, “What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?”

The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, “Well, it’s pretty hard to wear glasses with no ears!”

SOURCE::::www.mastegg.com

Natarajan

“கொஞ்சம் சிரிக்கலாமே” ….!!!

கொஞ்சம் சிரிங்க, பாஸ்…

“நீங்க உங்க மனைவிக்கு ரொம்ப பயந்து நடப்பவரா?”

“ச்சே, ச்சே… நடக்கறப்ப அந்த பயத்தை வெளில காட்டிக்க மாட்டேன்.”

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நோயாளி : டாக்டர் நீங்க ஒரு காரியம்….. செய்யணும்

டாக்டர் : நான் ஆபரேசன் மட்டும்தான் பண்ணுவேன்….. காரியம் எல்லாம் ஐயர் தான் செய்வார்.

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நீதிபதி: ஒரே வீட்டை ஏன் பதினைந்து முறை கொள்ளை அடிச்சே?

திருடன்: ஐயா நான் அவங்க பாமிலி திருடன், எப்புவுமே விஸ்வாசமா இருப்பேன்.

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1:- “ காதலிக்கும் மனைவிக்கும் என்னங்க வித்தியாசம்?”

கவிஞர்:- “ காதலி கரும்பைப்போன்றவள்
மனைவி இரும்பைப்போன்றவள்”

1: – ???

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ஆவி1 :விஷம் குடிச்சி சாக போனேன்..விஷத்துல கலப்படம் பிழைச்சிக்கிட்டேன்..

ஆவி2 :அப்புறம் எப்படி செத்த?

ஆவி1 :காப்பாத்த மருந்து கொடுத்தாங்க..மருந்துல கலப்படம் செத்துட்டேன்..

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டீச்சர்: நாம் பேசும் மொழியை ஏன் தாய் மொழி என்று சொல்கிறோம் ?

மாணவி : எப்போதும் அம்மாக்கள் பேசுவதாலேயும், அந்த வாய்ப்பு அப்பாக்களுக்கு குறைவாக கிடைப்பாதலேயும், நாம் பேசும் மொழி தாய் மொழி என்று அறியப்படுகிறது.

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டாக்டர்-“ஆபரேஷன் முடிந்து நீங்க நடந்தே வீட்டுக்குப் போகலாம்.”

நோயாளி -“ஆட்டோவுக்குக் கூடக் காசு இருக்காதா டாக்டர்?”

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பையன்-அம்மா எதிர் வீட்டு ஆண்டி பேரு என்னம்மா?

அம்மா-விமலாடா..

பையன்-அப்பாவிக்கு இது கூட தெரிய மாட்டேதுங்கும்மா அந்த ஆண்டிய “டார்லிங்”னு கூப்பிடுறார்.

‪#‎செத்தான்டா_சேகரு‬

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”இந்த ஒரு கீரைக்கட்டை ஐந்து ரூபாய்னு சொல்றீயே ,நேற்றுக்கூட இரண்டு ரூபாய்னு தானே சொன்னே ?”

”இப்பவும் ஒண்ணும் மோசம் போயிடலே.. .அந்த கீரைக்கட்டு இப்பவும் இருக்கு ,ஒரு ரூபாய்க்கே தர்றேன் ,வாங்கிகிறீங்களா ?

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வாத்தியார்-டேய் முட்டாளுக்கும் அடி முட்டாளுக்கும் என்ன வித்தியாசம்?

மாணவன்-நாங்க எல்லாரும் முட்டாளுங்க சார் நீங்க எங்களை அடிக்கிறதால அடி முட்டாள் சார்

நேத்து உன் மனைவிக்கும், உன் அம்மாவுக்கும் நடந்த சண்டைல, யாருக்கு பின்னாடி நீ நின்ன?”

“போடா நான் பத்திரமா பீரோ பின்னாடி போய் நின்னுக்கிட்டேன்.

Joke of the Day…” Message to Moon…” !!!

I used to be a taxi driver but I had to quit…

I couldn’t stand people talking behind my back.

…………………..

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew, who were walking among the rocks.

The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people:

“What are these guys in the big suits doing?”

One of the astronauts said they were practicing for a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment, the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.

Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, “Why certainly!” and told an underling to get a tape recorder. The Navajo elder’s comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate.

So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder’s message to the moon.

Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing, the translator relayed the message:

“Watch out for these guys! They’ve come to steal your land.”….

SOURCE:::::: http://www.joke a day.com

Natarajan

” How to Sound Smart While Saying Absolutely Nothing … ” !!!

In a hilarious talk capping off a day of new ideas at TEDxNewYork, professional funny person Will Stephen shows foolproof presentation skills to make you sound brilliant — even if you are literally saying nothing. (Full disclosure: This talk is brought to you by two TED staffers, who have watched a LOT of TED Talks.)

Will Stephen has written for New York Magazine, The New Yorker, and CollegeHumor, where he also worked as a staff writer and editor. He is a performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater.

This talk was given on Saturday, November 1, 2014 at TEDxNewYork. The theme was “Grand, Central.” For more information, visit http://tedxnewyork.com or follow http://twitter.com/tedxnewyork.

 

SOURCE:::: You Tube and wwwba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day… ” You Will Meet a Beautiful Young Girl …” !!!

A Depressed Frog Visits a Fortune Teller !!!!

Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.

The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, “You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you”

The frog gets excited and says, “Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?”

“No,” replied the fortune teller, “in her biology class.”

SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” i want to know… ” !!!

A man goes to the police station wanting to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court” says the desk sergeant.

“No, no, no!” Says the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day .com

Natarajan

Just For Laugh … ” Just Reminding You… ” !!!

 

A married man’s prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away.
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife……….
It has been years now, just reminding you……

Husband: I found Aladdin’s lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn’t apply on zero.

A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn’t speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
Nooooo! That was the deal 🙂

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, “the food looks delicious, let us eat.”
Wife: honey…..you say prayers before eating at home.
Husband: that is at home, sweetheart……here the chef knows how to cook.

Best Slogan on a MAN’s T-Shirt :
“Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed”

“If you want to be Happy with your husband,
Love him Less Understand him more!
If you want to be Happy with your wife,
Love her More and never try to Understand ! 


SOURCE::::: input from my friend
Natarajan