humour

THAT TIME A FLYING PIG GROUNDED EVERY PLANE AT LONDON’S HEATHROW AIRPORT….

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Imagine if you will that you’re sitting in an airport waiting to go on vacation. Suddenly and without warning you hear a voice over the tannoy system informing you that every single plane scheduled that day had been grounded. As your mind begins to think of all the horrible things that could have caused the delay, you hear the voice again informing you that flights have been grounded not by a freak storm, crash or technical glitch, but by an escaped flying pig.

flying pig

As unbelievable as it’s going to sound, this is genuinely something that once happened in London in the 1970s thanks to the band Pink Floyd and their gigantic pig shaped balloon.

In 1976, Pink Floyd recorded an album called Animals which drew inspiration from the 1945 novel Animal Farm, a thinly veiled allegory of Soviet communism that prominently features pigs as characters.

After the album was recorded, the band met with a design team called Hipgnosis to create the album’s cover. Despite being regarded by many as some of the best album designers of all time (working with and designing albums for the likes of AC/DC, ELO, Styx and Rainbow), all of Hipgnosis’ ideas fell flat with the band.

Battersea-Power-StationAfter some deliberation, bassist Roger Waters suggested to Aubrey Powell of Hipgnosis that they use Battersea Power Station as the backdrop for the cover. Waters later explained to Rolling Stone, “I’d always loved Battersea Power Station, just as a piece of architecture. And I thought it had some good symbolic connections with Pink Floyd as it was at that point. One, I thought it was a power station, that’s pretty obvious. And two, that it had four legs. If you inverted it, it was like a table. And there were four bits to it, representing the four members of the band…” (I’m getting a definite This is Spinal Tapvibe here… Just me?)

The band had recently commissioned a gigantic 40 ft. inflatable pig for their upcoming tour.  Putting two and two together, Powell stated in an interview that when the pair were discussing the power station idea, “Roger and I both looked up at the Station, and said, ‘let’s fly the pig between the chimneys’. Just like that.”

After applying for what we can only assume was an ungodly amount of permits to float a giant balloon shaped like a pig above an (at the time) operational major power station, the band with help from Powell picked out the best angle from which to shoot the cover. Other prep work included hiring an expert marksman who was given orders to shoot the pig down should it escape. The band then decided on a date on which to shoot the photo- December 2, 1976, a day which was supposed to be mostly clear with some cloud, which the band specifically wanted so that the sky didn’t look “boring”, or as boring as it could be with a giant floating pig in the middle of it.

However, on the day of the shoot, the pig wouldn’t inflate for reasons never explained in any interview we could find. This annoyed Powell to no end because, “that day there was the most incredible, Turner-esque sky. But for some reason, the pig wasn’t inflating. I shot the Station anyway, because the sky was so amazing.”

After trying and failing to inflate the pig for several hours, the band gave up and they agreed to come back the next day.

The group returned and, oddly, this time the pig inflated just fine. After painstakingly attaching the pig to Battersea’s southernmost chimney, disaster struck as the tether holding the balloon in place broke during a wind gust, causing the gigantic inflatable porcine to begin lazily drifting away.

The pig was loose.

So what happened to the sniper they hired for just such a bizarre event? Well, apparently the manager simply forgot to tell him or his gun that they required his services the next day. So he never showed up.

As the pig began to climb ever higher, rising to heights no pig, inflatable or otherwise, had ever hoped or dared to dream, a terrible realisation crept over those watching it sail toward the heavens- the pig was flying directly towards Heathrow airport. As panic began to set in, the band did what many would do in such a situation, according to Powell, “Pink Floyd left the site.”

Moments after the skyward swine escaped, Heathrow officials received several communiqués from pilots in passing planes matter-of-factly telling them that they’d just seen a giant pig float past their windows. After realising that the calls weren’t a joke, all flights from the airport were grounded.

As the pig danced around in the sky, police helicopters and eventually the RAF were called in to chase it down, but to no avail; by the time they arrived the pig was gone and, despite their sincerest efforts, they couldn’t find it.

With the pig off enjoying its freedom and the band having absconded the scene of the crime, this left Aubrey Powell to take the fall. After police arrived, according to Powell, he was promptly arrested and taken in for questioning.

Meanwhile the band, who’d managed to retain their freedom, set about trying to find the pig- giant inflatable pigs not being cheap, after all. Using their status as Pink Floyd, they were able to convince radio stations across the country to plead with listeners to keep their eyes peeled for a giant floating pig, providing a number they could call if they happened to see it.

Almost immediately this number was flooded with prank calls because, of course it was. However, at around 9:30 pm that evening, a phone call from an irate farmer in Kent (about 40 miles or 65 km away) came in, with the farmer sharply asking “Are you the guy looking for a pig?”

After having this fact affirmed, the farmer angrily told the group that such an object had landed on his farm and was currently scaring all his cows. After getting the man’s details, Powell, along with the police, went and collected the swine which was miraculously undamaged from its adventure.

pink-floyd-animalsSurprisingly, the police and officials at Battersea allowed the band to come back and re-shoot their album cover, with the proviso that they actually bring the sharpshooter along this time. Although Powell was able to get shots with the tethered pig, the sky that day was entirely clear and he ended up hating how they looked initially. However, he was able to get the shot he wanted by using a photo from the first day and superimposing the pig on top of it. Sans Photoshop, this did not look that great if you looked too closely at the picture.

As such, this all went against Waters’ original requirements that the “picture should be real”, rather than superimposing the pig, as Powell had at one point suggested before the whole debacle. This nevertheless all ended up working out for the band swimmingly. As Powell later noted, the escaped pig “was front-page news: Pink Floyd couldn’t have got better publicity if they tried.”

After its little adventure, the pig went on tour with the band later the following year.

Source…….www.today i foundout .com

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Joke for the Day…” He packed his own lunch ” …!

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There was an Irishman, a Mexican, and a blond guy, who worked construction together. They were working on top of a building one day, and it was lunch time. The Irish man opens his lunch pail and he sees he has cabbage and beef, and he says, “If I get one more beef and cabbage for lunch I’m gonna jump off of this building!”

Then the Mexican opens his lunch pail and he gets a burrito, he says, ‘if I get one more burrito for lunch I’m gonna jump off this building!’

The blond man opens his lunch pail and gets a bologna sandwich. He says, ‘if I get one more bologna sandwich I’m gonna jump off of this building!’

The next day the Irish man opens his lunch pail and finds cabbage and beef so he jumps off the building to his death.

Then the Mexican opens hid lunch pail and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building to his death.

Then the blond guy opens his lunch pail and finds a bologna sandwich, so he jumps off to his death as well.

The next day at their funeral the Irish man’s wife said, ‘‘if I only knew he was sick of cabbage and beef I would have packed him something else.” Then the Mexican’s wife then said, ”If I only knew he didn’t like burritos, I would have packed something else.”

Finally, the blond man’s wife said, ‘‘I don’t know what his problem was! He packed his own lunch!”

Source…www.ba-bamail.com

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Joke of the Day…” Bill for Lab report and Cat scan ….” !!!

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A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet sighed, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a old dog. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry,  but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

He turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!?”

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

Source………www.ba-bamail.com

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Joke of the Day….” when he cries …” !!!

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With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

‘May I see the new baby?’ I asked.

‘Not yet,’ she said. ‘I’ll make coffee and we can talk for a while first.’

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, ‘May I see the new baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, ‘May I see the baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, ‘Well, when can I see the baby?’

‘WHEN HE CRIES!’ she told me.

‘When he Cries??’ I demanded. ‘Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?’

‘BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, OK?!‘

Source….www.ba-bamail.com

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படித்து ரசித்தது …”அதிசய மீன் ” !!!

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மன்னருக்கு மீன் கொண்டு வந்தான் ஒரு மீனவன்.
‘அரிதான இந்த மீனை தாங்கள் வாங்குவது தான் பொருத்தமாக இருக்கும்’ என்றான்.
மன்னரும் மகிழ்ந்து அவனுக்கு ஐந்தாயிரம் பொற்காசுகள் கொடுத்தார்.
மகாராணி கொதித்து விட்டார்.
‘ஒரு அற்ப மீனுக்கு இவ்வளவு பணமா?’ அதை திரும்ப வாங்குங்கள்’ என்றாள்.
‘முடிந்த வியாபாரத்தை மாற்றுவது அழகல்ல’ என்று மன்னர் மறுத்தார்.
‘சரி அவனை கூப்பிட்டு இந்த மீன் ஆனா பெண்ணா என்று கேளுங்கள்.
ஆண் மீன் என்று அவன் சொன்னால் பெண் மீன்தான் வேண்டும் என்றும் பெண் மீன் என்று சொன்னால் ஆண் மீன் தான் வேண்டும் என்றும் கேளுங்கள்.
எப்படியும்அவனிடமிருந்து பொற்காசுகளை பிடுங்கி ஆக வேண்டும்’ என்றாள் மகாராணி.
மீனவன் திருப்பி அழைக்கபட்டான். கேள்விக் கணையை மகாராணி தொடுத்தாள். அவன் உஷாராக பதில் சொன்னான்.
‘இது ஆணுமில்லை பெண்ணுமில்லை’ இரண்டின் குணங்களையும் கொண்ட அதிசய மீன்.
அதனால் தான் அதை மன்னருக்கு கொண்டு வந்தேன் என்றான்.
இந்த பதிலால் நெகிழ்ந்த மன்னர் மேலும் ஐந்தாயிரம் பொற்காசுகளை கொடுத்தார். அதிலிருந்து ஒரு காசு தரையில் விழுந்து ஓடியது. மீனவன் அதை தேடி எடுத்தான். மகாராணி கோபத்தின் உச்சிக்கே போனாள்.
‘பேராசைக்காரன்…! கீழே விழுந்த காசை யாராவது வேலைக்காரர்கள் எடுத்து போகட்டுமே என்று விட்டானா பாருங்கள்’ என்றாள் மன்னரிடம்.
அவன் நிதானமாக திரும்பிச் சொன்னான்…
‘நான் பேராசையில் அதை எடுக்கவில்லை மகாராணி! அந்த நாணயத்தில் மன்னரின் உருவம் இருக்கிறது. யாராவது தெரியாமல் அதை மிதித்தால் கூட என்னால் தாங்கிக்கொள்ளவே முடியாது’.
இதனால் இன்னும் நெகிழ்ந்த மன்னர் மேலும் ஐந்தாயிரம் பொற்காசுகளை கொடுத்தார். இப்பொழுது மகாராணி தனது வாயை மூடிக் கொண்டாள்.
நீதி:
யாரிடம் எப்போது எப்படிப் பேச வேண்டும் என்று தெரிந்திருப்பவர்களே….
முன்னேறுகிறார்கள்….
( கிட்டத்தட்ட ஜால்ரா )

Source…….facebook …

சொர்க்கமே என்றாலும் அது நம் ஊரைப் போல வருமா?    page    

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Joke of the Day…” Can you give me a push ….” ?

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A husband and wife are in bed when there is a knock at the door. The husband rolls over and looks at his clock – it’s 3:30 a.m. He drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.

When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. “Hi ya,” slurs the stranger. “Can you give me a push?”

“Get lost,” says the man. “It’s half-past three.”

He slams the door and goes back up to bed. He tells his wife about the drunk.

She says, “Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain and you had to knock on that man’s door? What would’ve happened if he’d told us to get lost?”

Shamefaced, the husband gets fully dressed, puts on his shoes and picks up all his tools then goes to his own car and takes out some cables.

Finally having all he needs to assist any problem the man may have, he opens the door and calls out, “Hey, do you still want a push?”

A voice answers, “Yes, please.”

“Where are you?” calls the man.

“I’m over here…” replies the stranger,

“…on your swing set.”

Source……..www.ba-bamail.com

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Jokes for the Day….!!! One liners !!!

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. I recently got crushed by a pile of books, but I suppose I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
. A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation for a local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
. I went to a really emotional wedding the other day. Even the cake was in tiers.

 I had to quit my job at the shoe recycling factory. It was just sole destroying.
. I was getting in to my car the other day and a man said ‘can you give me a lift?’ I said ‘sure, you look great, chase your dreams, go for it!’
  I’ve decided to sell my vacuum. Well, it was just gathering dust!
 What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie!
Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

 My wife and I have been happy for 20 years. But then we met.
 Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out, man.

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!
. I was overcharged for velcro last week. What a rip off!
 I’ve been reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
. A train stops at a train station. A bus stops at a bus station. Now why is my desk called a ‘work station’?

 How do prisoners call each other? On their cell phones!
 The thing about dwarfs and midgets is that they have very little in common.
. Have you heard about the magic tractor? It turned into a field!
 To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for nothing!
. I hate Russian Dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
 I used to be a banker, but over time I lost interest.
 I was thinking about getting a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

 I can’t understand why people are so bothered about me not knowing what the word ‘apocalypse’ means. It’s not like it’s the end of the world!
 Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two-tired!

 Did you hear about the man who lost his entire left side in an accident? He’s all right now.
. If I could only take one thing to a desert island, I probably wouldn’t bother going.
. I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seat belt for ages. But then one day, it just clicked.
. My first job was at a calendar factory. I can’t believe they sacked me, all I did was take a day off!
 I was going to tell my pizza joke but I think it’s a bit too cheesy.

 

Source……www.ba-bamail.com

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Joke for the Day… ” Today you voted for us ….” !!!

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While walking down the street one day, a high ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the politician .

“Well, I’d like to but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the politician.

“I’m sorry but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts the politician to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress.

They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and has a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit Heaven.” So 24 hours pass with the politician head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: “Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the politician and lays an arm on his neck.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the politician. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Of course! Yesterday we were campaigning.  Today you voted for us!”

Source….www.ba-bamail.com

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Joke of the Day….” A wife is a Wife …” !!!

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A newly married couple was walking through a garden, suddenly a dog ran towards them.

They both knew it will bite them..

The husband lifted his wife and let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart

The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little while and ran away.

The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.

But his wife shouted
“I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs, this is the first time I am seeing

someone trying to throw his wife at a dog”!!

Husband…   “😱😱😱😱”

Moral : A Wife is a Wife

No One ELSE Can MISUNDERSTAND a Husband Better, than a Wife.

Swami Unknownananda 😀

source….input from a friend of mine.
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