Ad. In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight….
One Lung At A Time! On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative.
The more The Success,
The more The Relatives.
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking…
I Gave Up Reading.My Grandfather Is Eighty
And Still Doesn’t Need Glasses…
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.Please do Pay In Advance.’Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don’t Stand In Her Way.Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions.Getting Caught
Is The Mother Of Invention.Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.The Surest Sign
That Intelligent Life Exists
Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.Sign At A Barber’s Shop:
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.source::::input from a friend of minenatarajan
Art
Jokes for the Day….”$chool is i$ Really Great …” !!!
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
……………………
A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. “I’m going on a sabbatical to Rome,” he replied, “and while I’m there, I’ll light a candle for you.”
When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple’s house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.
“He’s gone to Rome, to blow that candle out” came the harried reply.
When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple’s house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.
“He’s gone to Rome, to blow that candle out” came the harried reply.
………………………………..
A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; “Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?”
The mother paused and looked at her daughter. “Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey.”
The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. “Mother?” She sweetly asked again.
“Yes?” Her Mother replied. “Why is Grandma’s hair all grey ?
The mother paused and looked at her daughter. “Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey.”
The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. “Mother?” She sweetly asked again.
“Yes?” Her Mother replied. “Why is Grandma’s hair all grey ?
.……………………….
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over…
………………………….
A small boy came running downstairs, shouting, “Mom! Mom! I cleaned my room without being told!”
“Well,” said the mother, “that’s wonderful! Thank you very much. It will save a lot of trouble, and it shows you are growing up.”
“Yeah, but, Mom,” said the boy, “don’t jump to conclusions.”
I don’t understand, dear,” said his mother. “Conclusions?”
“Yeah, Mom” said the boy. “This isn’t going to become a habit.”
“Well,” said the mother, “that’s wonderful! Thank you very much. It will save a lot of trouble, and it shows you are growing up.”
“Yeah, but, Mom,” said the boy, “don’t jump to conclusions.”
I don’t understand, dear,” said his mother. “Conclusions?”
“Yeah, Mom” said the boy. “This isn’t going to become a habit.”
…………………………..
After spending all day putting in a new cement walk, Mr. Sullivan was horrified to see his kids using sticks to write their names in it. After screaming viciously at the kids, he came back inside, only to find his wife scowling. “How could you do that?” she asked.
“It’s just a walkway, and – don’t you love your kids?” Her husband said, “In the abstract, yes. But not in the concrete.”
“It’s just a walkway, and – don’t you love your kids?” Her husband said, “In the abstract, yes. But not in the concrete.”
source:::: joke a day .com
natarajan
Message For The Day…”Speak only The Truth and Follow Righteousness…”
When the Goddess of Wisdom, Mother Saraswathi enters our hearts, our faces glow. She is full of Divinity, radiance and knowledge. Hence every educated person who has received Her blessings should always be cheerful. Never put on a ‘castor-oil-face’. Be full of joy. You must also be an embodiment of obedience and humility, with no trace of anger, ego or jealousy. Speak only the Truth and follow righteousness. The castle of righteousness is built upon truth. We often get into trouble only due to our attachments to the body. Your body at some point of time degenerates into a house full of dirt, a basket full of diseases. The body and mind are impermanent. Until you live, firmly believe that body is the temple of God and keep it as clean and pure as possible. When you spend your life with such noble ideas, you will not have any bad thoughts, words or actions.
Cartoon of the Day !!!
source:::::glasbergen.com
natarajan
Jokes For the Day…” We Just Got off Route 119 … ” !!!
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back — wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem? “Ma’am,” the officer replies, you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-two miles an hour! “The old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time, “the officer asks. Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119…
.…………………….
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will five times!”
……………………..
source:::: joke a day .com
natarajan
Incredible Images of Airlines in Storm Clouds …
Nervous flyers may want to look away now.
These stunning (or horrifying, depending on your view of air travel) images show planes approaching huge, angry storm clouds that completely dwarf them.
The incredible snaps, which look like a scene from an apocalyptic horror movie, were taken by photographer Ramon Stalenhoef, 39, not from a plane or helicopter, but from the balcony of his apartment in Amsterdam.
Brooding: Photographer Ramon Stalenhoef has taken a stunning set of pictures of planes above Amsterdam flying into huge storm clouds
Room with a view: Mr Stalenhoeff took the pictures from his apartment near Schiphol Airport
+5Plane crazy: The pictures capture that moment of dread just before your flight enters a storm
He said: ‘Some people think I shot it from another plane. Or that I went up in a balloon or climbed the highest building in town
‘But the truth is even more surprising. I just shot it from my balcony. From the second floor of my apartment.
‘I live in Amsterdam and my balcony offers a great view of the flight paths of different aircraft that are on their way to Schiphol Airport.
Ready for its close up: Zooming in reveals that this is a KLM flight
Up, up and away: This 747 is about to fly into jumbo storm clouds
‘Thanks to the dramatic low hanging clouds and my large telephoto lens I was able to take pictures of which you think they are shot high in the sky.’
Ramon, who works as the Creative Director for an advertising agency, is inspired by photography that show a different picture than is possible with your eyes:
‘This is also an interesting aspect of photography. Photos always show a different picture than your eyes would see. Therefore photos work on peoples imagination.
‘In this case I wanted to tell the story of small and fragile looking planes high in the mighty sky.’
Ramon started taking photos in 2008 after buying his first DSLR:
‘I bought my first DSLR in 2008 and what drives me is the ‘instant satisfaction’ of taking pictures.
‘Within a fraction of a second you can amaze yourself and others. Think about it, it’s amazing to freeze time and to awe!
‘When I look through the camera I’m really aware of everything around me. I look for small details, great moments, amazing light, everything.’
To capture his images, he used a Canon 5D Mark II camera, a Canon 200mm f/2.8 L lens and a Canon 2x teleconverter.
source:::::mailonline.com UK
NATARAJAN
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2548628/Incredible-snaps-airliners-approaching-storm-clouds-Amsterdam.html#ixzz2rtOlAfIo
Jokes For the Day…” Where is My Rolex !!!…”
A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I’m going into retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the NC three-Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The Yankee attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old southerner. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the Yankee lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The Yankee lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old redneck southerner, now it’s my turn.”
The old North Carolina farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the NC three-Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The Yankee attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old southerner. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the Yankee lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The Yankee lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old redneck southerner, now it’s my turn.”
The old North Carolina farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”
…………………………….
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?” Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.” God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.” Satan says, “No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.” God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.” Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?
…………………………
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” he whined.
“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” retorted the officer, “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”
“Oh my god”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, “Where’s my Rolex!”
“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” he whined.
“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” retorted the officer, “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”
“Oh my god”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, “Where’s my Rolex!”
………………………….
source:::::joke a day .com
natarajan
Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=43#ixzz2rqPrsZQp
Art Works at Sandy Beach !!!
If you live in San Francisco, California, then you may be lucky enough to come across the art of Andres Amador. He doesn’t paint or sculpt. He prefers a medium that is temporary but absolutely beautiful: a sandy beach at low tide. He uses a rake to create works of art that can be bigger than 100,000 sq. ft.
He spends hours creating these intricate masterpieces, knowing that the tide will soon come in and wash away his work forever.
While making his beach mural explorations, he uses a rope as a guide so that he can make the geometric patterns.
Consider yourself lucky if you happen to stumble across one of his playa paintings, because it won’t be there long.
Or even teaching others to create these beachscapes as part of a team building exercise.
According to Andres, it only takes a couple of hours once the tide is low enough to create the designs.
Andres’ creations are simply stunning and knowing that these delicate creations are temporary somehow makes them even more beautiful.
You should definitely Like Andres On Facebook and Visit His Web Site where you can buy prints of his designs if you want.
source::::viral nova site
natarajan
Jokes For The Day…” I Believe You are in My Chair ….” !!!
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.”
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: “Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?”
Not only that, but….
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought “Car95” or “CarNT”. But, then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say “are you sure?” before going off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: “Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?”
Not only that, but….
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought “Car95” or “CarNT”. But, then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say “are you sure?” before going off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
……………………………
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They’re up in heaven, and God’s sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. “Al, what do you believe in?”
Al replies, “Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more Freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we’ll all die.” God thinks for a second and says, “Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left.”
God then addresses Bill Clinton: “Bill, what do you believe in?”
Bill Clinton replies, “Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people’s pain.”
God thinks for a second and says, “Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right.”
God then addresses Bill Gates: “Bill Gates, what do you believe in?”
Bill Gates says, “I believe you’re in my chair.”
source:::::joke a day.com
natarajan
Message for the Day…” Fruit of Action depends upon the Action itself …”
Jealousy will make a person see bad, even in the good! It will bring about your destruction in many ways. Root it out of you at the earliest. If not, the next one to come is ego. Ego destroys discrimination, drives out human qualities, and turns you into a demon. Doubt, jealousy, ego and lack of faith are four very strong evil qualities. Even if any one of those four are present in anyone, without doubt, they will be ruined over time. Develop good conduct and earnestly practice good behavior as much as possible, then you will attain the status of a noble person over time. Never do any work with the desire for money or any other benefit. Expecting the result of work is greediness. The fruit of the action depends upon the action itself. Can you expect 100/100 even before you start studying? Instead of studying keeping marks in view, you must study because it is your duty, and do it with total dedication.
Take off with Natarajan 