
SOURCE:::: http://www.glasbergen.com
Natarajan
Jan 20 2015
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You know you’re a senior citizen when every time you leave your house; you have to go back because of something you forget.
SOURCE::: http://www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
Jan 16 2015
Clue no: 1 – In a Historic match between India and England , he served as the captain of the team…..
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Clue no: 2 – He was the Opening bowler in that match……
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Clue no: 3 – He was also the Opening batsman in that match….
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Clue no: 4 – He is the one who bowled the last ball of the innings….
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Clue no: 5 – He was the one, who faced the last ball of the innings….
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.Still u didn’t get it…… ooops…..
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Clue no: 6 – He took the last wicket of the innings……
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Clue no: 7 – He was named the man of the match in that particular game….
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Okay atleast after this easy one…………………….
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Clue no: 8 – He won the match for his team by hitting a sixer off the
last ball…….. Who is HE???
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Clue no: 9 – He was the captain in his debut match
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Not yet??!!!
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Okay Let us see the answer….
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It is……….
Aamir Khan in “Lagaan”
I am still searching for the guy who sent me this…!!!!
An English friend of mine says that he nearly had a heart attack on a flight in the United States when the American pilot announced that the plane would be airborne “momentarily.’ ‘In British English, the language my friend speaks, “momentarily” means “for a moment,” and he thought the pilot was suggesting an imminent crash soon after takeoff. In American English, however, “momentarily” means “in a moment,” and the pilot was merely appeasing the impatient passengers.
The plane took off, stayed aloft, my friend’s heart stopped thudding, and he lived to tell the tale. But he understood better than ever before the old adage that Britain and the United States are two countries divided by a common language.
Anecdotes abound about the misunderstandings that arise when foreigners come to the United States thinking that they know the language.
In one anecdote, a young man, in the course of a passionate courtship, tells his American girlfriend, “I’ll give you a ring tomorrow.” All he meant was that he would call her by telephone. But she understood him to have offered betrothal, and the relationship didn’t survive the misunderstanding.
Then there’s the hotel that failed to understand an English guest who called to say he had left his “trousers in the wardrobe.” Translators had to be summoned before the hotel staff finally cottoned on: “Oh, you’ve left your pants in the closet. Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”
Sometimes you can get the right word but the wrong concept. India’s former foreign minister, M. C. Chagla, once ruefully recounted the time he wanted to order a modest bite from room service in a New York hotel and requested sandwiches.
“How many do you want?” Chagla was asked. Imagining delicate little triangles of thinly-sliced bread, he replied: “Oh, half-a-dozen should be enough.” Six sandwiches duly arrived, each about a foot long (30 centimeters) and four inches high.
In my first week on a U.S. university campus, I asked an American where I could post a letter to my parents. “There’s a bulletin board at the Student Center,” he replied, “but are you sure you want to post something so personal?” I soon learned that I needed to “mail” letters, not “post” them (even though in the United States you mail them at the “post office”).
In Britain, one concludes a restaurant meal by asking for the bill, and conceivably paying by cheque; in America, one asks for the check and pays with bills.
The language of politics is also not exempt from the politics of language. When a member of Parliament in Britain “tables” a resolution, he puts it forward for debate and passage; when an American Congressman tables a resolution, he kills it off. A “moot” point is one the Englishman wants to argue; but if it’s moot, the American considers it null and void.
Such differences of usage reveal something of the nature of American society.
It is no wonder, after all, that while the British “stand” for election, Americans “run” for office.
A British linguist once told a New York audience that whereas a double negative could make a positive, there was no language in the world in which a double positive made a negative. A heckler put paid to his thesis in forthright American: “Yeah, right.”
Yeah, right, indeed. With the universality of English largely a result of U.S. global dominance, it’s time for other English speakers to stop quibbling about whether the American usage is right or wrong. It simply is.
And as the Americans have taught the rest of us to say: that’s O.K. Though not even they can tell us what those two initials are meant to represent.
The writer grapples regularly with the differences between British English and American English, both as a novelist and as undersecretary-general for communications and public information at the United Nations. This is a personal comment.
SOURCE:::: Sashi Tharoor in http://www.nytimes.com
Natarajan
Jan 13 2015
On a fine day, she was walking along a lake shore with the first son-in-law.
The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out onto the shore.
Another day she went out with her second son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in
The second son-in-law too jumped into the water and dragged her out onto the shore.
The third time she was walking with the third son-in-law and she repeated the same.
The next day the third son-in-law was surprised to see a brand new Rolls-Royce
“Thank you very much! Your Father-in-Law.” !!!!
Jim, a collections specialist, was on his first day of work for his new employer and was assigned to collect a past due balance from a company that was a customer of his employer. He had been provided with a standard script that he was to use where he was to ask for “Accounts Payable” when calling the customer so that he could talk with someone about the payment of the past due bill.He made the call, asked the receptionist for “Accounts Payable”, and waited for what seemed to be forever on hold. Finally, after a very long time, the receptionist, who was also on her first day on the job and new to the world of business, came back on the phone and stated, “I am sorry, but I have looked down our list of employees and I do not find anyone named Accounts Payable.”
SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day.com
Natarajan