cheerful attitude

Jokes for the Day…

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Walking down the street one day, a woman heard a voice yell, ‘stop! If you take one more step, you will be killed. The woman stopped and seconds later a brick fell and landed in her path.
A minute later or two, she was ready to cross the street when the same voice bellowed ‘halt! Don’t cross the street now’. An out-of-control beer truck soon screeched around the corner and didn’t even slowdown as it ran the red light. Shaken, the woman asked out loud, “who are you?”
‘I am your guardian angel’ replied the voice. ‘And I imagine you have some questions for me”
‘You bet I do’, the woman said. ‘Where were you on my wedding day?’

……………………..

 

A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks – like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was released. He took his ant with him in a matchbox. The first place he went was to a bar. He sat down, took out the matchbox and emptied out the ant. He then said to the guy beside him, “you are not gonna believe what this ant can do”. He showed him all the tricks and the guy was impressed. He told him that he could make a fortune with the ant. The guy with the ant was excited and called the bartender over and said “you see that ant?” The bartender put his finger on the ant, twisted it and said “sorry sir it won’t happen again.”
………………………………
A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.

Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offered. ” On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. “So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.” I yelled, “Now, back off!! Or you’ll answer to me!”
St. Peter was impressed: “When did this happen?”
“Just a couple of minutes ago”

………………………………

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
“Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain.
“I’ve no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts.”

……………………

A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, “Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright.”
“Yes,” replied the man. “My card was stolen over a month ago.” “Why didn’t you report your card as stolen?” asked the card company representative. The man replied, “Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!”
……………………
source:::::joke a day .com
natarajan

Jokes for the Weekend…..

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“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another.
“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”
…………..
A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”
“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking ….

.………………………..

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant,
His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?”
The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
……………………..
This little computer,” said the a sales clerk, “will do half your job for you.”
The senior manager studying the machine made his decision; “Fine, I’ take two.  
………………………
The VP hobbled in to his house and was greeted by his wife.
“Dear,” she said, startled, “what are you doing home so early?”
“The boss and I had a fight,” he grumbled. “He would not take back what he said.”
Glowing with pride, his wife asked, “what did he say?
The VP shrugged. “You’re fired.”

………………………….

As a member of an Internet awareness survey team, we had visited a home. The unruly owner asked, “Tell me the difference between washing machine & Internet?” When I was cursing my luck, my colleague answered, “The former washes your cloth and the later washes your brain.”

……………………..

Bill attended a party where he met an old acquaintance, “Hello, Sam,” he said. “How’s your clothing business? I heard you lost a lot on that fall shipment of dresses.”
“That’s right,” Sam responded.
“And you almost went bankrupt.”
“That’s true too.”
“But I understand you made a big profit on another shipment and wound up having a pretty good season after all.”
“That’s correct. Then I guess you heard all about it, Bill.”
“Yeah,” Bill answered, “but this is the first time I’m hearing all the details.”
……………………………………
A man went to a bank and gave them 60 000$ worth of bonds to hold for him and he asked to take out a loan of 1$. The next year he came back to the bank to get his bonds and the accountant asked him “If you have all that money in bonds, why did you need to borrow 1$.” The man replied, “Do you know any other way I can use a safety deposit box for only 7 cents a year?”

…………………………..

SOURCE:::::joke  a day .com
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Message For the Day…”Have Pure Thoughts…Get Your Body &Senses Purified…”

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If you throw a pebble in a pond, a small ripple originates and spreads until the end of the river. You may or may not be able to see, but the ripple starts right at the point where the stone meets the water. Similarly, in the lake of your mind, when you throw a stone of thought, ripples of thought waves start spreading throughout your body. The same ripple reflects in your eyes, brain, ears, heart and also in your hands and legs. Hence you must be very careful with the kind of thoughts that you permit to pervade your personality. When you get pure thoughts, all your senses will be purified by it. However, if you get bad thoughts, your senses will be perverted and this will quickly spread to your eyes, heart, hand and brain. Always have pure thoughts. If you do so, your body, senses and actions will be purified.

 

Sathya Sai Baba

” வாடிய பயிரை பார்க்கும் போது வாடும் ஒரு மனிதர் …”

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ஜோலார்பேட்டை ரயில் நிலையம் அருகில் வாணியம்பாடி செல்லும் சாலையோரத்தில் இருக்கிறது ஏலகிரி ஓட்டல். அங்குச் சாப்பிட்டுவிட்டுச் சிலர் பணம் கொடுக்காமல் வணக்கம் மட்டும் தெரிவித்து விட்டுச் செல்கின்றனர். கல்லாவில் இருந்தவரும் காசு கேட்பதில்லை. பணத்துக்குப் பதில் வணக்கம் செலுத்தினால் போதுமா? விசாரித்தபோதுதான் மேலே தொங்கிக்கொண்டிருந்த சிலேட்டுப் பலகைகளைக் காட்டினார். விஷயம் புரிந்தது.

‘முதியோர், ஊனமுற்றோர்களுக்கு காலை 8 முதல் 11 மணி வரை இலவச உணவு’ (100 பேர் வரை), ‘பால் வாங்கப் பணமில்லையென்றால் குழந்தைகளுக்கு இலவசமாகப் பால்’, ‘வாரம் 100 மாணவர்களுக்கு இலவசமாக பேனா அல்லது பென்சில்’, ‘1 முதல் 8ம் வகுப்பு வரையிலான மாணவர்களுக்கு காலை முதல் மாலை வரை பாதி விலையில் உணவு’ இந்த அறிவுப்புகள் சிலேட்டுப் பலகைகளில் சாக்பீஸால் எழுதப்பட்டிருந்தன.

ஆச்சரியத்துடன் கேட்டால், “பணத்துக்காக வாழ்றதில்லிங்க; வாழ்றதுக்குதாங்க பணம்” பெரிய தத்துவத்தை எளிதாகச் சொல்கிறார் இந்த ஓட்டலின் உரிமையாளர் நாகராஜ். அவர் இந்தச் சேவையை 25 ஆண்டுக்கும் மேலாகச் செய்துவருகிறார். ஒரு நாளைக்கு ஏறக்குறைய 100 பேர் வரை இந்த ஓட்டலை நம்பியே காலம் தள்ளுகின்றனர்.

ஜோலார்பேட்டை ரயில் நிலையம் வட மற்றும் தென் தமிழகம், கர்நாடகம் மற்றும் ஆந்திரத்தை இணைக்கும் முக்கியச் சந்திப்பு. இந்த நிலையத்தைக் கடந்ததுதான் அனைத்து ரயில்களும் பயணிக்கின்றன.

பயணத்தின்போது காலி தண்ணீர் பாட்டிலை ஜன்னல் வழியே வீசுவதைப்போல குடும்பத்தில் பாரமென கருதப்படும் மனிதர்களை ரயிலில் அழைத்து வந்து இங்கே இறக்கிவிட்டுச் சென்று விடுகின்றனர். அவர்கள் பெரும்பாலும் முதியவர்கள் மற்றும் மனநிலை பாதிக்கப்பட்டவர்கள். மாதந்தோறும் குறைந்தபட்சம் 15 பேராவது இப்படி அனாதைகளாகத் தனித்து விடப்படுகின்றனர்.

திக்குத் தெரியாமல் தவிக்கும் அவர்கள் ஜோலார்பேட்டையிலேயே சுற்றித்திரிகின்றனர். இவர்களுக்கு இந்த ஓட்டல் ஒரு அன்னச் சத்திரமாக இருக்கிறது. “பசி என்ற உணர்வு மட்டும்தான் சுயநினைவு இல்லாத வருக்குக்கூட உணவு நமக்கு தேவை என்பதை உணர்த்து கிறது” என்கிறார் நாகராஜ்.

இவர்கள் தவிர சுற்றுவட்டாரங்களில் வீடுகளில் கவனிக்க முடியாத நிலையில் இருக்கும் முதியவர்களுக்குத் தேவையான உணவை அவர்களது குடும்பத்தினர் வந்து இலவசமாக பார்சல் வாங்கிச் செல்லலாம். நாகராஜின் மனைவி சுஜாதாவும் தன் கணவரின் இந்தத் தொண்டுக்குப் பக்கபலமாக இருக்கிறார்.

மிகச் சின்ன வருமானத்தில் இதையெல்லா எப்படிச் சமாளிக்கிறீர்கள் என்ற கேள்விக்கு, “இவர்களுக் கென்று தனியாக உலை வைக்கப்போதில்லை. வழக்க மாக சமைக்கும் அளவோடு கொஞ்சம் கூடுதலாக சமைக்கிறேன். 5 கிலோ மாவு புரோட்டோ போட்டாலும் 10 கிலோ மாவு போட்டாலும் மாஸ்டருக்கு ஒரே கூலிதான். எரிபொருளும் ஏறக்குறைய ஒரே அளவில்தான் செலவா கிறது.

சில ஆயிரம் ரூபாய் வருவாய் இழப்புதான் என்றாலும் எனக்கு குடும்பம் நடத்தத் தேவையான லாபம் கிடைக்கிறது. மனதுக்கும் சந்தோஷமாக இருக்கிறது” என்கிறார் வாடிய பயிரைக் கண்டபோதெல்லாம் ‘வாடி நிற்கும்’ நாகராஜ்.

source:::::The Hindu….Tamil
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” Phones Become Smart and People are Running Mad After Phones ” !!!

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Mobiles

Interesting and Very True!!!

Mobile Aya
Camera Khatam

Mobile Aya
Wrist Watch Khatam

Mobile Aya
Torch Khatam

Mobile Aya
Radio Khatam

Mobile Aya
MP3 Khatam

Mobile Aya
Letters Khatam

Mobile Aya
Calculator Khatam

Mobile Aya
Computer Khatam

Mobile Aya
Sakoon Khatam

Aur agar apka
“Mobile” ap ki”Girlfriend/wife/husband” ke haath aya toh
Maa Kasam aap “Khatam.”

Ek dum latest …
Badalti Duniya Ka aisa Asar Hone Laga,
Aadmi pagal Aur Phone Smart Hone Laga

source::::input from a friend of mine

natarajan

Message for the Day…” How to do Meditation …” ?

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During meditation, care must be taken to keep the back straight and steady without bending forward or backward or sideward. If you bend or move, misdirection of highly potent energy (Kundalini) can occur resulting in mental derangement. Also wear loose clothes. Your eyes must concentrate on the tip of the nose. They must be half-open, so you are neither distracted nor falling asleep. Free your mind from bad thoughts and fill it with sacred ones. To achieve this, you must control your senses. Your ears must be trained to listen only to noble and elevating ideas, and to eschew evil speech and gossip. Your eyes must be tuned to see the Divine. The restless mind must be restrained by making it concentrate on inhalation and exhalation while incessantly repeating the Mantra, ‘So-Ham’ (I am He). Through these postures and activities, your life-breath is controlled and this will ensure that the great power of Yoga is revealed unto you.   

Sathya Sai Baba

Jokes for the Day !!!

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A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The storeowner replies “I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale.

The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you twenty dollars for that cat.”

And the owner says “Sold,” and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, “Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me from having to get a dish.”

And the owner says, “Sorry buddy, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats.”   

…………………………

 

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?”
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. and I’ve never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay here, too.”
Two monkeys were sitting in a tree and two lions were sleeping below them. One monkey said to the other monkey “I dare you to go down there and kick one of those lions in the rear end.” The other monkey said o.k. I’ll go down there and kick him in the rear end as hard as I can. So he goes down the tree and kicks the lion as hard as he can and takes off swinging through the trees. The lion starts to chase him. He keeps getting closer, and closer until the monkeys thinks “Man I better do something quick or that lion is going to eat me for lunch. So he keeps swinging until the lion is pretty far behind him and he sees a newspaper lying on the ground. So he picks it up and starts to read it. All of a sudden the lion catches up to him and says, “Did you see a monkey run by here?” The monkey goes, “You mean the one that kicked that lion in the rear end?” And the lion says,”Dang it was in the paper already?”

source::::::joke a day.com

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