Joke of the Day…” I thought you said there were no Police …” !!!

A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his address, to report the prowlers and possible burglary. The operator at the other end said “Are they in your house?” He said they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. He thanked the operator, hung up the phone and counted to 30 and called again. “I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well you do not have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!” Within seconds there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fire engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, “I thought you said you had shot them all!” The man answered, “I thought you said there were no police available   

source::::joke a day.com

natarajan

Walk the Work !!!

Desk jobs are slowly killing us. Perhaps even worse than dying early, our office-potato lives are making us moresusceptible to joint painfatigue, and illness. To fight off these modern diseases, Iuse a treadmill desk, which keeps me in motion all day long. Unfortunately, treadmill desks are pretty pricey, going for around $1,400 on Amazon.

 

Posted by Gregory Ferenstein  in techcrunch.com ..7 march 2014

 

 

Now, a new study has quantified the impacts of treadmill desks on workplace productivity and the results convincingly show why it’s worth it to a company’s bottom dollar to buy walking stations for the entire office.

The researchers conducted a year-long controlled experiment with employees in a financial firm. On average they found that supervisor ratings of employee productivity increased 10% (on a 1-10 scale) and energy expenditure per day shot up 70 calories. This generally confirms other evidence on walking desks, including one that found that doctors are 10% more accurate at diagnosing patients while on a walking workstation (actually, their diagnosis rate went from 88% to near perfect, 99%, while walking).

“The results suggest that the introduction of treadmill workstations, as hypothesized, has a significantly favorable impact on both physical activity and work performance,” the team concludes. “It seems that companies ought to consider making treadmill workstations available to their sedentary employees.”

With any rudimentary back-of-the napkin calculations, outfitting the entire office with walking stations is a penny saver. As long as the new equipment satisfies this the simpleProductivity Increase + Healthcare Savings > Cost of Treadmill Per Employee equation, it makes perfect sense.

A 10% bumb in satisfaction is huge. If the average employee is worth $50K/year, treadmill desks add an extra $5K worth of productivity. Indeed, if the actual productivity spike is anywhere near what other studies have found, it’s likely worth more than the $1,400 price tag. And, it’s not hard to see why treadmill desks are so beneficial: being tired at work causes a massive drain on resources. Being upright helps curb this — and even a slightly perkier workplace is worth a lot of money.

Then, you have to factor in healthcare. Many workplaces offer hundreds of dollars in savings for employee wellness programs, which can save the business itself in insurance costs, sick days, and worker comp. Sick days alone are worth a few hundred dollars per day per employee.

To be sure, office plans that only incentive gym memberships may be insufficient to optimize their employees health: sitting all day long can offset some of the beneficial effects of occasional exercise, which is probably why desk jobs are associated with cardiovascular disease.

I love my treadmill desk, and I walk around five hours a day (and that’s probably more than most will use it). One unit can easily be split by two or more employees. So, the actual cost of a treadmill desk is a maximum of $700 per employee.

In short, so long as the profitable increase in productivity and healthcare savings is more than $700, it’s worth employers to outfit the entire office with treadmill desks.

source:::: techcrunch.com

natarajan

Joke of the Day…. ” Yes …that is it … ” !!!

Two elderly couples were enjoying a friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?”

“Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great.”

“That’s great! And what was the name of the clinic?”

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?”

“You mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s it!”

He turned to his wife, “Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?”    

source:::::joke a day.com

natarajan

Message for the Day…Swami”s Advice to Students who Write Exams Now ….

At times, you may feel dissatisfied with the answers you wrote, even though you have spent a lot of time reading. Why? Because when you are preparing for examinations, mere reading is not sufficient. You may read at home and feel confident of writing well in the exam hall, but that doesn’t work. You must necessarily practice at home what you do in the examination hall. That is why you should often practice writing the answers. Many things which you do not understand clearly while reading, becomes easier to comprehend when you write. The more you write and practice at home, the better you will do in the examination hall. I will also share another secret for your success: In the examination hall, before receiving the question paper, you should first pray. Receive the question paper after your prayer. Then slowly read the question paper and start answering the easy questions first and the difficult ones towards the end.

Sathya Sai Baba

Just For Laugh …” What Feed you Give to your Pigs ….” !!!

The farmer

 

There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the farmer: “What do you use to feed your pigs?”

 

“Well, I give them acorn, corn, and things like that. Why?”

 

“Because I am from the Animals Protection Association and I think you don’t feed them like you should, they shouldn’t eat wastes.”

 

Then he fined the farmer.

 

Some days later, another person arrived and asked the same question. The farmer answered: “Well, I feed them very well. I give them salmon, caviar, shrimp, steak…why?”

 

“Because I am from the United Nations Organization and I think it’s unfair that you feed your pigs like that when there are people dying with nothing to eat.”

 

And he fined the farmer.

Finally, another man came in and asked just the same question. The hesitant farmer answered after a few minutes: “Well, I give five dollars to each pig so they can buy whatever they want.”

source::::input from a friend of mine

natarajan

Pax Pens Shocking Note To Pilot …

Carey Smith Steacy pictured in a Westjet plane. Picture: Carey Smith Steacy/Facebook

Carey Smith Steacy pictured in a Westjet plane. Picture: Carey Smith Steacy/Facebook Source: Facebook

IT WAS the last thing pilot Carey Smith Steacy expected to find at the end of her flight.

Instead of a message of thanks for a good trip, Steacy was shocked when she was handed an infuriating note left behind by a passenger.

The note, written on a serviette by ‘David’ who was in seat 12E on the Calgary-bound flight on the weekend, complained that the cockpit of a plane “is no place for a woman”.

He asked the airline to alert him the next time “a fair lady is at the helm, so I can book another flight!”

Pilot’s revenge on complaining passenger

Airport worker’s touching note to passenger

Secret airline talk decoded

The offensive note.

The offensive note. Source: Facebook

 

 

Passenger pens shocking note to pilot

It shocked the female pilot. Source: Supplied

 

Steacy, who lives in Surrey, Canada, posted the photos on her Facebook page along this response: “To @David in 12E on my flight #463 from Calgary to Victoria today. It was my pleasure flying you safely to your destination.

“Thank you for the note you discreetly left me on your seat. You made sure to ask the flight attendants before we left if I had enough hours to be the Captain so safety is important to you, too.

“I have heard many comments from people throughout my 17-year career as a pilot. Most of them positive. Your note is, without a doubt, the funniest. It was a joke, right? RIGHT?? I thought, not. You were more than welcome to deplane when you heard I was a ‘fair lady’.

“You have that right. Funny, we all, us humans, have the same rights in this great free country of ours. Now, back to my most important role, being a mother.”

The response earned her a lot of praise on Twitter. 

source::::news.com.au 

natarajan

Joke of the Day….

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing? “The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize. “How?” asks the man, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field.”   

…………….

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of an enormous forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.
“It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!” The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.
“Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.
After a long pause the pilot said, “You mean you’re not the instructor?”

source::::joke a day .com

natarajan

 

Message for the Day…” You Must always Talk to others in a Pleasing Manner…”

In a story, Birbal tells Akbar, “Sweet talk is the sweetest thing in the world; nothing else, not milk, honey or jaggery comes close to it. A sweet word is the most valuable thing; through it one we can win a person over, give great joy and even attain a higher status. When crows caw at us, we throw stones at them. Whereas, when cuckoos sing, we respect them. Neither is the cuckoo going to give us a crown, nor will the crow punish us. When one’s speech is good, one earns a good name. Hence, a sweet word is indeed the sweetest thing in the world.” You must always talk to others in a manner which would give them contentment and joy. This is the essence of all scriptures. It is not enough to listen to, learn or chant Vedas, scriptures and Puranas (ancient spiritual texts), you must give joy and satisfaction to others.

Sathya Sai Baba