Ad. In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight….
One Lung At A Time! On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative.
The more The Success,
The more The Relatives.
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking…
I Gave Up Reading.My Grandfather Is Eighty
And Still Doesn’t Need Glasses…
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.Please do Pay In Advance.’Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don’t Stand In Her Way.Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions.Getting Caught
Is The Mother Of Invention.Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.The Surest Sign
That Intelligent Life Exists
Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.Sign At A Barber’s Shop:
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.source::::input from a friend of minenatarajan
Author: Natarajan
Jokes for the Day….”$chool is i$ Really Great …” !!!
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
……………………
A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. “I’m going on a sabbatical to Rome,” he replied, “and while I’m there, I’ll light a candle for you.”
When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple’s house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.
“He’s gone to Rome, to blow that candle out” came the harried reply.
When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple’s house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.
“He’s gone to Rome, to blow that candle out” came the harried reply.
………………………………..
A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; “Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?”
The mother paused and looked at her daughter. “Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey.”
The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. “Mother?” She sweetly asked again.
“Yes?” Her Mother replied. “Why is Grandma’s hair all grey ?
The mother paused and looked at her daughter. “Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey.”
The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. “Mother?” She sweetly asked again.
“Yes?” Her Mother replied. “Why is Grandma’s hair all grey ?
.……………………….
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over…
………………………….
A small boy came running downstairs, shouting, “Mom! Mom! I cleaned my room without being told!”
“Well,” said the mother, “that’s wonderful! Thank you very much. It will save a lot of trouble, and it shows you are growing up.”
“Yeah, but, Mom,” said the boy, “don’t jump to conclusions.”
I don’t understand, dear,” said his mother. “Conclusions?”
“Yeah, Mom” said the boy. “This isn’t going to become a habit.”
“Well,” said the mother, “that’s wonderful! Thank you very much. It will save a lot of trouble, and it shows you are growing up.”
“Yeah, but, Mom,” said the boy, “don’t jump to conclusions.”
I don’t understand, dear,” said his mother. “Conclusions?”
“Yeah, Mom” said the boy. “This isn’t going to become a habit.”
…………………………..
After spending all day putting in a new cement walk, Mr. Sullivan was horrified to see his kids using sticks to write their names in it. After screaming viciously at the kids, he came back inside, only to find his wife scowling. “How could you do that?” she asked.
“It’s just a walkway, and – don’t you love your kids?” Her husband said, “In the abstract, yes. But not in the concrete.”
“It’s just a walkway, and – don’t you love your kids?” Her husband said, “In the abstract, yes. But not in the concrete.”
source:::: joke a day .com
natarajan
What an Exam Looked Like in 1895 – Wow!
What an Exam Looked Like in 1895 – Wow!.
An “eye opener ” for all of us !!!…. when our grandfather used to tell that he was 8th Pass , we were not able to appreciate what it it was worth !!!
Now you see for yourself …
natarajan
Message For The Day…”Speak only The Truth and Follow Righteousness…”
When the Goddess of Wisdom, Mother Saraswathi enters our hearts, our faces glow. She is full of Divinity, radiance and knowledge. Hence every educated person who has received Her blessings should always be cheerful. Never put on a ‘castor-oil-face’. Be full of joy. You must also be an embodiment of obedience and humility, with no trace of anger, ego or jealousy. Speak only the Truth and follow righteousness. The castle of righteousness is built upon truth. We often get into trouble only due to our attachments to the body. Your body at some point of time degenerates into a house full of dirt, a basket full of diseases. The body and mind are impermanent. Until you live, firmly believe that body is the temple of God and keep it as clean and pure as possible. When you spend your life with such noble ideas, you will not have any bad thoughts, words or actions.
Cartoon of the Day !!!
source:::::glasbergen.com
natarajan
Jokes For the Day…” We Just Got off Route 119 … ” !!!
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back — wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem? “Ma’am,” the officer replies, you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-two miles an hour! “The old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time, “the officer asks. Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119…
.…………………….
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will five times!”
……………………..
source:::: joke a day .com
natarajan
Message For the Day…” Do Not Compromise Virtues Under any Circumstances…”
Every one of you must ask yourself, ‘What is the purpose I have come for?’ If it is to study, are you following the path and learning sincerely and thoroughly? Never forget the purpose of your existence. Humility is the very core of education, and its the most important aspect. Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar, a renowned educationist in India grew up amidst many challenges. He lost his father, and his mother raised him with a lot of difficulties. She taught very important lessons to her son. She used to say, “Child, education is not as important as virtues. For the sake of education, do not make the mistake of giving up virtues. In a difficult situation, it is even okay to give up education if it entails compromising on virtues. Good qualities are the most important for any person. Humility is the true ornament of an educated person.”
Incredible Images of Airlines in Storm Clouds …
Nervous flyers may want to look away now.
These stunning (or horrifying, depending on your view of air travel) images show planes approaching huge, angry storm clouds that completely dwarf them.
The incredible snaps, which look like a scene from an apocalyptic horror movie, were taken by photographer Ramon Stalenhoef, 39, not from a plane or helicopter, but from the balcony of his apartment in Amsterdam.
Brooding: Photographer Ramon Stalenhoef has taken a stunning set of pictures of planes above Amsterdam flying into huge storm clouds
Room with a view: Mr Stalenhoeff took the pictures from his apartment near Schiphol Airport
+5Plane crazy: The pictures capture that moment of dread just before your flight enters a storm
He said: ‘Some people think I shot it from another plane. Or that I went up in a balloon or climbed the highest building in town
‘But the truth is even more surprising. I just shot it from my balcony. From the second floor of my apartment.
‘I live in Amsterdam and my balcony offers a great view of the flight paths of different aircraft that are on their way to Schiphol Airport.
Ready for its close up: Zooming in reveals that this is a KLM flight
Up, up and away: This 747 is about to fly into jumbo storm clouds
‘Thanks to the dramatic low hanging clouds and my large telephoto lens I was able to take pictures of which you think they are shot high in the sky.’
Ramon, who works as the Creative Director for an advertising agency, is inspired by photography that show a different picture than is possible with your eyes:
‘This is also an interesting aspect of photography. Photos always show a different picture than your eyes would see. Therefore photos work on peoples imagination.
‘In this case I wanted to tell the story of small and fragile looking planes high in the mighty sky.’
Ramon started taking photos in 2008 after buying his first DSLR:
‘I bought my first DSLR in 2008 and what drives me is the ‘instant satisfaction’ of taking pictures.
‘Within a fraction of a second you can amaze yourself and others. Think about it, it’s amazing to freeze time and to awe!
‘When I look through the camera I’m really aware of everything around me. I look for small details, great moments, amazing light, everything.’
To capture his images, he used a Canon 5D Mark II camera, a Canon 200mm f/2.8 L lens and a Canon 2x teleconverter.
source:::::mailonline.com UK
NATARAJAN
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2548628/Incredible-snaps-airliners-approaching-storm-clouds-Amsterdam.html#ixzz2rtOlAfIo
Image of the Day…
Old Moon…Red in The Morning…. From HongKong
source::::earth sky news
natarajan
Jokes For the Day…” Where is My Rolex !!!…”
A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I’m going into retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the NC three-Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The Yankee attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old southerner. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the Yankee lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The Yankee lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old redneck southerner, now it’s my turn.”
The old North Carolina farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the NC three-Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The Yankee attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old southerner. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the Yankee lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The Yankee lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old redneck southerner, now it’s my turn.”
The old North Carolina farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”
…………………………….
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?” Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.” God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.” Satan says, “No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.” God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.” Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?
…………………………
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” he whined.
“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” retorted the officer, “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”
“Oh my god”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, “Where’s my Rolex!”
“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” he whined.
“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” retorted the officer, “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”
“Oh my god”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, “Where’s my Rolex!”
………………………….
source:::::joke a day .com
natarajan
Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=43#ixzz2rqPrsZQp
