The teacher said; “Take a pencil and paper, and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire.'”
Everyone but Joe, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write feverishly.
“What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?”
“I’m waiting for my secretary,” Joe replied.
SOURCE::::www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
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1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Just couldn’t concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, But just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,
but wasn’t suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
 4. Next, I tried working in Starbucks,
But I had to quit because it was the same old grind.
5. Then, I tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it…. I couldn’t cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician,
but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but didn’t have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
Tried hard but just didn’t fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman,
but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.
11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance company ,
but the work was just too draining.
12.. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre,
but they said I wasn’t fit for the job…
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it..
14. My last job was when I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that was too exhausting.
SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT
AND I FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
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SOURCE:::: http://www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan
(Photo: Greenpoint)TSA guards with cold hands who insist on patting you down. Babies who spend the entire flight screaming in a piercing five-octave range. Flight delays so long you actually could have saved time walking.
All of those indignities we would happily bear, if only we could take all of our flights on this plane.
A ridiculously tricked-out Boeing 747-8, whose interior was refurbished by Washington-based Greenpoint Technologies, has just been delivered to an unidentified private owner. According to the Robb Report, it’s the first Boeing 747-8 (which is Boeing’s largest passenger jet) to receive Greenpoint’s VIP treatment. And it is stunningly luxurious.
While Greenpoint hasn’t released many details about what Luxury Launches calls a “flying mega-yacht,” its website is full of digital art that give a hint as to what you’ll find aboard. It includes:
A conference room from which you and your enforcers can plot world domination:
(Photo: Greenpoint)A luxurious office from which you can call everyone you’ve ever known and brag about your new plane:
(Photo: Greenpoint)A master bedroom so large that allows you to scoff at the lie-flat first class seats in which “the paupers” are forced to recline:
(Photo: Greenpoint)A pair of airy and spacious lounge areas in which to sit down with a drink and contemplate how awesome your life is that you can fly on a plane like this:
(Photo: Greenpoint)How much does a flying palace like this cost? No one’s saying. But the Boeing 747-8, the world’s largest passenger jet, goes for about $350 million and the price tag for this VIP customization has been ball-parked at an additional $250 million
But if you have the means, this is just the plane to make you love flying again — where the worst part of the flight would be having to land.
SOURCE::::: www.in.news.yahoo.com
Natarajan
An old man decides to go into town one day to run some errands. On the way back, his wife calls his cell phone.
“Look out honey, I just saw on the news that there’s a car driving the wrong way on the interstate.”
“Not just one car, they all are!”
………………………………………
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After a hard day of drilling, the drill sergeant let the troops go. “All right, you idiots, report to the mess hall.” Everybody walked away, sweating and their heads down, thankful for the end of the hard day. Only one private remained. He looked at the officer and sincerely said, “Boy, there sure were a lot of them, huh, sarge.” SOURCE::::: http://www.joke a day.com Natarajan |
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My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey.
So I took a photo of her hair!
…………………….
While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old farmer, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.
Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.
The old farmer said, “Well, as I see it, most politicians are ‘Post Tortoises’.”
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post tortoise’ was.
The old farmer said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that’s a post tortoise.”
The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain.
“You know he didn’t get up there by himself,
he doesn’t belong up there,
he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there,
he’s elevated beyond his ability to function,
and you just wonder what kind of idiot put him up there to begin with.”
SOURCE::::: http://www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
My grandparents were taking me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.
“Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?”
“You are in seat 2-B, so it’s the Shakespeare seat.”
“Don’t be silly Grandma. All the seats on an airplane are Shakespeare seats.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Well, it’s either seat 2-B or not 2-B.” !!!
SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day.com
Natarajan
The planets Venus and Mars are about to be amazing in the western sky after sunset. Watch for them. Cool selfie from Jean-Baptiste Feldmann in France!
Isn’t this a cool image of the planets Venus (brighter) and Mars (above) in the western twilight sky? French photographer Jean-Baptiste Feldmann posted it at EarthSky Facebookover this past weekend (February 14-15, 2015).
It’s a beauty in and of itself and also because Venus and Mars are about to be amazing in the western sky after sunset. By this coming weekend, these two worlds will be at their closest since 2008. They won’t be this close again until 2017. What’s more, the moon is now coming back to the evening sky, and Venus and Mars and the waxing crescent moon will create some amazing sky scenes in the west after sunset, especially on February 20. Watch for them!
SOURCE:::: http://www.earhskynews.org
Natarajan
A brand-new hotel located in Canberra, Australia’s National Zoo and Aquarium offers an experience unlike another.
The list of strangest hotels in the world has just got a new entrant.
Australia’s Jamala Wildlife Lodge offers you the opportunity to share a room with its four-legged inhabitants.
Situated on the banks of the Molonglo River inside the National Zoo and Aquarium, home to animals, fish and reptiles, the Jamala Wildlife Lodge has some 18 rooms that offer guests a one-of-its-kind experience.
The zoo is home to Bengal tigers, lions, cheetahs, giraffes, Malayan sun bears, black and white colobus monkeys, European brown bears, ring-tailed lemurs, hyenas, and snow leopards.
There are three types of residences all of which are located adjacent to an animal enclosure.
Giraffe Treehouses are exactly what their name suggests, and offer you the opportunity to feed their resident giraffe from the comfort of your balcony.
uShaka Lodge that has seven suites featuring, wait for it, shark tank in your lounge room.
But it’s the jungle bungalows that are for the bravehearts.
With just a glass screen standing between you and a pride of lions or bears, do expect a few peeping toms, you know the usual suspects… 🙂
The hotel opened its doors mid-December and the room tariff is pretty steep starting at $400 per person, per night with the profits going back to the zoo for animal welfare and reproduction programmes.
So, will you book?
SOURCE:::: http://www.rediff.com
Natarajan
The Red Planet’s surface. File photo.
Three Indians, two women and one man, have made it to the list of 100 applicants who will move on to the next round of an ambitious private mission that aims to send four people on a one-way trip to Mars in 2024.
From the initial 202,586 applicants, only 100 hopefuls have been selected to proceed to the next round of the Mars One Astronaut Selection Process, The Netherlands-based non-profit organisation Mars One has announced.
The project aims to set up a human colony on Mars and eventually around 40 people will be sent to the red planet on a permanent basis. The finalists will train for seven years and Mars One will begin sending out four at a time from 2024.
The Mars 100 Round Three candidates include 50 men and 50 women with 39 from the Americas, 31 from Europe, 16 from Asia, 7 from Africa, and 7 from Oceania.
The Indian candidates include 29-year-old Taranjeet Singh Bhatia, who is studying Doctorate in Computer Science at the University of Central Florida.
The other two are Ritika Singh, 29, who lives in Dubai, and Shradha Prasad, 19, from Kerala.
The second round of the application process last year had shortlisted 44 Indians, of whom 27 were men and 17 were women.
The third round has selected 100 candidates from a pool of 660 after they participated in personal online interviews with Norbert Kraft, Chief Medical Officer.
During the interviews the candidates had a chance to show their understanding of the risks involved, team spirit and their motivation to be part of the life changing expedition.
“We were impressed with how many strong candidates participated in the interview round, which made it a very difficult selection,” said Norbert Kraft.
The next selection rounds will focus on composing teams that can endure all the hardships of a permanent settlement on Mars.
The candidates will receive their first shot at training in the copy of the Mars Outpost on Earth and will demonstrate their suitability to perform well in a team.
Take off with Natarajan 