Joke of the Day…’ Bet for Biting Eye…”

Two men are drinking in a bar. One turns to the other and says, “I bet you $100 that I can bite my eye.”

The second fellow thinks to himself, I guess he’s had about enough, so he replies, “OK, you’re on.”

The first man takes out his glass eye and bites it. So the second man has to pay.

Awhile later the first man says, “I bet you $100 I can bite my other eye.”

The second man thinks, well, he can’t have TWO glass eyes; he obviously can see. So he says, “All right, you’re on.”

The second man promptly takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye.

SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day.com

Natarajan

” இப்போ போட்டோ எடுத்துக்கோ…” !!!

புகைப்படம் எடுப்பது எனக்குப் பிடித்தமான பொழுதுபோக்கு.

பெரியவாள் முன்னிலையில், slide viewer –ல் ஸ்லைடுகளைப் போட்டுக் காண்பித்துக் கொண்டிருந்தேன். அது, ஸ்லைடில் உள்ள படங்களை நான்கு மடங்கு பெரிதாகக் காட்டும். படங்களைப் பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருந்த பெரியவாள், “இதில் ஸ்லைடு வைக்குமிடத்தில் நெகடிவ் பிலிமைப் போட்டால், நன்றாகத் தெரியுமா?” என்று கேட்டார்.

(பெரியவாளுக்குப் புகைப்படக் கலையின் ஒவ்வொரு நுட்பமும் தெரியும். ஆனால், தனக்குத் தெரிந்ததாகக் காட்டிக் கொள்ள மாட்டார்கள் என்பதும் எனக்குத் தெரியும்! ஆனால், என்னுடைய அக்ஞானம் என்னை விட்டுப் போய்விடுமா என்ன?)

”நெகடிவ் போட்டால், திரைப்படத்தில், கறுப்பு வெள்ளையாகவும், வெள்ளை கறுப்பாகவும் தெரியும்..”

பெரியவாள் உடனே, “அதுதான் எனக்கு வேணும்.. நரைத்துப் போன என் தலைமுடி, கறுப்பாகத் தெரியும்! நான் இன்னும் இளைமையாக இருப்பேனோல்லியோ…”

அருகிலிருந்து கேட்டுக் கொண்டிருந்தவர்கள் அட்டகாசமாகச் சிரித்து மகிழ்ந்தார்கள்.

பெரியவாளுடைய நகைச்சுவை உணர்வு, எவரெஸ்டுக்கு மேலே பத்து அங்குலம்!

ஜெய ஜெய சங்கர! ஹர ஹர சங்கர!!

***********

வானகரத்தில் ஒரு சவுக்குத் தோப்பில் உட்கார்ந்திருந்தார் பெரியவா. முன்னர் எடுத்திருந்த புகைப்பட ஆல்பத்தைக் கொடுத்தேன். அப்போது, பல்வேறு காரணங்களால் புகைப்படங்களில் குறைகள் ஏற்பட்டிருந்தன.

இந்தத் தோப்பில் எவ்விதக் குறைகளுமில்லாமல் புகைப்படம் எடுக்க முடியும் என்பது என்னுடைய துணிபு.

பெரியவா, ஒரு சிஷ்யரைக் கூப்பிட்டு, ஒரு தாழங்குடை கொண்டுவரச் சொல்லி, அதைத் தன் தலைக்கு மேல் பிடிக்கச் சொன்னார்.

“இப்போ போட்டோ எடுத்துக்கோ…”

அப்போது நான் எடுத்த புகைப்படம் மிக அருமையாக வந்திருந்தது. (பின்னால் கல்கி தீபாவளி மலர் ஒன்றில் ஸ்ரீருத்ர வாக்கியமான, ‘நமோ வன்யாய ச கக்ஷ்யாய ச’ என்ற விளக்கத்துடன் முகப்புப் படமாக வெளியாயிற்று).

பெரியவாள் தாழங்குடையைப் பிடிக்கச் சொன்னதற்கும் காரணம் இருந்தது. மரங்கள் வழியே வந்த ஒளி, அவர்கள் மேல் திட்டுத் திட்டாக விழுந்து கொண்டிருந்தது. அந்த நிலையில் படம் எடுத்தால் நன்றாக வராது என்பதால், அந்த ஷாட் நன்றாக அமைய வேண்டும் என்பதற்கான சூழ்நிலையை உண்டாக்கிக் கொடுத்தார்கள்.

மெய்ப் படங்களைக் கற்றுத் தேர்ந்தவர்கள் அவர்கள். நிழற் படங்களின் நுட்பங்களை எந்தக் குருகுலத்தில் கற்றுத் தெளிந்தார்கள்?
ஆயிரம் படம் படைத்த ஆதிசேஷ்னே அறிவார்!

ஜெய ஜெய சங்கர! ஹர ஹர சங்கர!!

மூலம் : மஹா பெரியவா தரிசன அனுபவங்கள் – ஐந்தாம் பாகம்
நினைவு கூர்ந்தவர் : எஸ். சீதாராமன், சென்னை – 28.
SOURCE:::: http://www.proboards.com

Natarajan

Read more: http://periva.proboards.com/thread/4494/maha-periyavaa-photographer#ixzz3T79zOjwl

” In our days, Hardware was Found in Hardware Shop and name of Software was Never Heard … ” !!!!

The Best Answer an Older Person Can Give

Some time ago, a loving gradnson was talking to his grandmother about modern life. He asked for her opinion on everything that has been going on in the last few years. His grandmother gave him a long look and said: “Well, let me see…
I was born before:
* penicillin
* television

old lady

* frozen foods
* Xerox
* contact lenses
* Frisbees and
* the pill
There were no:
* credit cards
* laser beams or
* ball-point pens
Man had not yet invented:
* pantyhose
* dishwashers
* clothes dryers
* and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
Nor has man walked on the moon yet.
Your Grandfather didn*t live together until we got married. There were very few single mothers.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, “Sir.”
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, “Sir.”
We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.
We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.
We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends, not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD*s, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President*s speeches on our radios.
If you saw anything with *Made in Japan * on it, it was junk.
The term *making out* referred to how you did on your school exam.
Pizza Hut, McDonald*s, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 & 10-cent (5 and dime) stores
where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.
And if you didn*t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Ford Coupe for $600, but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day:
* “grass” was mowed,
* “coke” was a cold drink,
* “pot” was something your mother cooked in and
* “rock music” was your grandmother*s lullaby.
* “Aids” were helpers in the Principal*s office,
* “chip” meant a piece of wood,
* “hardware” was found in a hardware store and.
* “software” wasn*t even a word.
We volunteered to protect our precious country.
No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is a generation gap.
How old do you think I am?
Read on to see… Are you ready??
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This woman would be only 65 years old.

old lady

She would have been born in late 1950.
Gives you something to think about, doesn’t it?
So much has changed in one lifetime. !!!
Natarajan

Joke of the Day… ” I am fine … ” !!!

Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?” said the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, “Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the….” “I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question.”

“Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’!”

Farmer Joe said, “Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road….”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie.”

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.

I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, “Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”

SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day… ” Sand Bags…” !!!

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”

“Sand,” answered Juan.

The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What’s in the bags?”

“Sand,” says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every week for three years.

Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

“Hey Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about…Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”

Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.” !!!

SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” Gentlemen .. I am Dying ….” !!!

A priest, a lawyer, and an accountant were all at the bedside of a very ill man. The man said to them,

“Gentlemen, I’m dying. Before I go, however, I want to ask you one final favor: My family is rotten and I don’t want to give any of them an inheritance. I would like to be buried with the remainder of my money.” He then hands the priest, the lawyer, and the accountant three envelopes that contain $100,000 each.

“While my coffin is being lowered into the earth, please throw each of the envelopes in. Don’t tell anyone what’s inside the envelopes.”

So the three men leave. Sure enough, one week later, the man dies. During the funeral, the three men toss the envelopes into the grave whilst the coffin was being lowered. After the funeral, the three men go to a cafe to discuss the life of the old man. The priest says,

“I have a confession: I took $10,000 from my envelope. But I used it to fix up the children’s home. The old man was always very generous and loved the children. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind seeing where his money went.”

The lawyer pipes in,

“Well, I also have a confession: I took $30,000 as payment of a personal loan he borrowed from me years ago.”

The accountant, looking rather shocked, says,

“I cannot believe you two! I wrote a personal check that covered the whole thing!”
SOURCE:::: http://www.joke a day.com

Natarajan