Many people say that men and women are opposites. Others hold the notion that they complement each other, while others believe them to be both. Despite it all, we cannot help but be a little comical about the differences between the two sexes, so if you agree with us on this, the following short jokes will surely have you bursting into laughter!
Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in…
While those inside are desperate to come out.
Wife: “Why are you home so early?”
Husband: “My boss said go to hell!”
Doctor: “How’s your headache?”
Patient: “She’s out of town.”
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she loves the most. But when a man does that – the slide show begins….
Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.
Wives are magicians…
They can change anything into an argument.
There are 3 kinds of men in this world: Some remain single and make wonders happen, some have girlfriends and see wonders happen…the rest get married and wonder what happened!
Q- Why can’t women drive well? A-Because there are too many mirrors in a car that distract them.
Q- Why can’t women stand a day in a Jungle? A- There are no shopping centers.
Q: How can you save a dying woman? A: Tell her about a 90% sale going on somewhere. Q: If a Woman is quiet, which day is it? A:Who cares, just enjoy that day!
Women live a better, longer and more peaceful Life, compared to men. Do you want to know why?
A very smart man replied:Women don’t have a wife!
A typist is required to be fast and accurate, and while he proved to be precisely that, Bhide was much more too. Throw in artistic to those set of skills, and you have Chandrakant Bhide.
“Sachin Tendulkar’s curls gave me the most trouble!”
Chandrakant Bhide is a typist by profession. In 1967 he joined the Union Bank of India and worked there for 3 decades.
A rather implausible scenario for Tendulkar’s curls to give him grief, right?
A typist is required to be fast and accurate, and Bhinde proved he was precisely that but more too.
Throw in artistic to those set of skills, and you have Chandrakant Bhide.
Chandrakant Bhide and a typed out sketch of RK Laxman’s the Common Man
“Art helped me meet important people. How else does a modest typist like me get to meet and be appreciated by people like R. K. Laxman and Mario Miranda,” questions Mr Chandrakant Bhide?
Mr Bhide is anything but ‘just a typist’. His art is indicative of his sheer talent and why the likes of the above-mentioned greats were his fans.
Growing up, he always wanted to join an art school – specifically the Sir J.J. School of Art in Mumbai.
But financial constraints forced him to take a more secure job.
“One day I was asked to type out a list of phone numbers, instead of typing a regular list, I made one in the shape of a telephone instrument,” he remembers. That was the beginning of many more artistic endeavours to come.
“I typed out Lord Ganesha using the ‘x’ key and it was published in the Maharashtra Times newspaper in 1975. I slowly started improvising and started using other keys like ‘_’, ‘=’, ‘@’, ‘-’, ‘,’ in my sketches,” recalls Bhide.
His father’s words inspired him to be better and do better. Each sketch takes him about 5-6 hours to complete.
Bhide’s sketches of Bal Gangadhar Tilak and Sardar Patel done on the typewriter
“I hold the paper with my left hand and use the fingers on my right hand to type out the symbols. The different shades in a sketch are added by using a light or a hard touch on the keys. My hands start aching after 10-15 minutes, and so I need constant breaks,” he adds.
One day, Mr Bhide sketched RK Laxman’s, Common Man. It was a time when Xerox machines had just made their appearance. His friend helped him get copies and requested to keep the original.
A huge fan of RK Laxman’s work, Bhide has made several sketches of Laxman’s iconic “Common Man”, winning him the famous illustrator’s admiration
“I wanted to show the sketch to R.K. Laxman sir. I went to his office without an appointment and showed it to the cartoonist. Laxman sir was so thrilled with it that he said the result could not have been better with a pen and brush. We spent 1.30 hours talking, and I even mentioned my lost dream of studying in Sir J.J. School of Art, and he said, you can be an artist anyway!” he recalls.
Bhide continued to keep in touch with the famed cartoonist and takes great pride in having several original ‘Common Man’ sketches.
Over the years, Mr Bhide has created almost 150 sketches including several of people he admires including Amitabh Bachchan, Dilip Kumar, Sunil Gavaskar, Dr Ambedkar, Lata Mangeshkar and more.
But it was Sachin Tendulkar’s curls that frustrated the master typer! “I finally used the ‘@’ symbol to get it right,” he recalls.
One of his fondest memories was meeting up with renowned cartoonist and illustrator Mario De Miranda via a common friend, the famous Behram Contractor also known as the Busy Bee. “I was nervous when I rang the bell to Mario’s home, but he soon put me to ease. Once he saw some of my sketches based on his famous characters (Ms Fonseca, Godbole and Boss), he autographed one of my sketches with the words – ‘I wish I could draw like you type.’ That was my biggest compliment,” says Mr Bhide.
Mario De Miranda encouraged and inaugurated Mr Bhide’s first exhibition. He went on to hold several more, including ones in festivals like IIT Mumbai’s Mood Indigo and IIT-Kanpur’s Antaragini.
Mr Chandrakant Bhide retired from the Union Bank of India in 1996. He approached the administration department with a request to buy his beloved companion, his typewriter but was denied it as it was against policy. But on the day of his farewell, the chairman of the Bank allowed him to buy it for just Rs. 1.
Today, the typewriter still holds a place of pride in his household. “It has been with me for fifty years now, I understand it, it understands me,” he chuckles.
Worry and grief of one sort or another will always be there, in the past, present, and future, while walking, dreaming, and sleeping. But place faith in the Lord and do your tasks as dedication to Him and they will definitely vanish! Remember the Lord with thankfulness at least thrice or even twice a day; that will give you great peace. Do not give up your worldly duties, but do them with the name of God on your lips. Do not involve yourselves in the affairs of others to the extent that you get so entangled that you cannot extricate yourselves. Spend your time in the contemplation of the beauties of nature, which are spread out before you in earth and sky – lovely green expanses, soothing and joyful cool breezes, the panorama of coloured clouds and the music of the birds. Sing the glories of God as you walk along. Do not talk hatefully, do not get angry, do not disturb the sky with your shouts and curses, and do not pollute the air with vengeful boasts.
Eight years ago, Guna Suresh was travelling to Chennai with his family, when the bus got stuck at Koyambedu bus terminal at noon. His brother had a baby with him, who was crying for milk. They managed to find a milk shop but later found out that the milk they bought was spoilt.
After this incident, Guna realised how important access to milk for babies was, especially in situations like this. He decided he wanted to provide free milk to infants across the country. At his shop in Maatuthavani bus stand in Tamil Nadu, hundreds of women can be seen walking with their infants in their arms.
This is where Guna provides free milk to them whenever they visit his shop.
“The milk is pure and never spoilt,” he told Edex Live, adding, “On a regular day, at least 20 infants are given milk. The number goes up when the crowd gets bigger during festivities. We offer milk to underprivileged mothers as well,” he adds.
Guna’s shop is easy to spot at the bus stand, with a board that mentions his service of providing free milk. Women read the board and happily avail his service.
Profits mean nothing Guna. It is the satisfaction he gets when he helps these women and their babies which matters to him the most. He has been urging other shopkeepers near other bus stands in Tamil Nadu to provide similar services to women. He also says that as his financial status improves, he will do more to help them.
Source….Deepika Bharadwaj in http://www.the betterindia.com
Atma-Rama, the Rama who confers eternal joy, is present in your heart. So repeat His name, it is the Sun that can make the lotus in your heart bloom. Rama is not the son of Emperor Dasaratha but of the ruler of your ten senses (dasendriyas). The recital of Rama’s name must become as automatic, frequent and essential as breathing. The seed letters of Rama are from the Shiva and Narayana mantra, for it is composed of the second letters of both: Na-ra-yana and Na-mah-sivaya. The name Rama endows you with power and all the spiritual capital you need. It has a form too, and you should picture the form when you repeat the name; then the name becomes concrete and its remembrance is easier. Live always in the presence of that form-filled name. Then life becomes one continuous worship of the Lord.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man answers it, engaging the loudspeaker function as he does so. Everyone in the room stops to listen to the conversation.
“Hey babe, I’m at the city center mall now and I found this gorgeous coat. It’s only $1,000. Can I buy it?” asks the woman at the other end.
“Sure, if you like it then go ahead!” replies the man.
“I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2016 models. There’s one I LOVE and it’s $98,000,” the woman continues.
“Okay, go ahead and buy it. Just make sure it comes with all the options for that price though,” the man says.
Pushing her luck even further, the woman asks: “Do you remember that house I wanted last year? Well, it’s back on the market for $980,000…”
“Make an offer of $900,000 – they’ll probably accept it. Go to $950,000 if you think it’s a really good price for the house,” the man replies.
“Okay honey, see you later! I love you so much – you’re so good to me,” the woman says.
“You’re worth it. Goodbye dear,” replies the man, and hangs up the call.
By this point, the men in the room are aghast, mouths wide open.
The man says: “Hey guys, does anyone know whose phone this is?”
As part of the custom, the idols along with temple elephants are taken to Shangumugam beach for the ritualistic bath.
For two days in a year, the Thiruvananthapuram International Airport halts its flight operations for five hours on the basis of a ‘Notice to Airmen’ (NOTAM).
Respecting a centuries old temple tradition, the airport runway makes way for a grand procession.
Saturday is one of the two days in a year that sees members of the Travancore royal family, temple priests, police, and even elephants walk down the runway, as part of the temple procession. Hundreds of people also escorted the idols past the 3400-metre runway.
Flights have been halted between 4pm and 9pm at Thiruvananthapuram on Saturday.
The ‘Arat’ procession marks the conclusion of the Painkuni festival and the Alpassi festival. Painkuni and Alpassi are references to Tamil months. While Painkuni is in April, Alpassi is in October.
Arat is the ritualistic bath procession of temple idols at Sree Padmanabha Swami temple in Thiruvananthapuram. The procession, which began at 5pm, crossed the runway at 6.30 pm.
As part of the custom, the idols along with temple elephants are taken to Shangumugam beach for the ritualistic bath. The procession sees royal family members wearing traditional attire and carrying swords. All priests along with royal family members take a dip into the sea three times. The idols are also given a ritualistic bath.
The procession returns to the temple on the same route, accompanied by people carrying traditional fire lamps.
They have to, however, ensure that they clear the runway by 8.45pm.
“The ritual was started centuries ago when the Travancore royal family ruled here. Even after the airport was established, the procession continued to pass through the runway. When the airport was established in 1932, it was under the Royal Flying Club. Since then, the runway was open for these processions. Even after it was converted into an international airport in 1991, the practice continued as the tradition is very important to this place,” an airport official told TNM.
Since the runway is part of traditional arat procession route, the Airport Authority of India issues passes to those who participate in it. Only those who have a pass can enter the route and cross the runway to head to the beach.
“There are strict restrictions inside the airport area. CISF officials guarding the area allow only people with passes. We issue the pass only to people in the list given by temple authorities,” he added.
NOTAM is issued a week before these two dates in the year, so that all the international flights can change their schedule. NOTAM is a notice issued to pilots or airline operators before flights, alerting them of the circumstances or changes in aeronautical facilities or about local procedures that affect safety.
Take off with Natarajan 