“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

 

You may be in daily interaction with negative people, be they friends, family members, a romantic partner or colleague. You love them, you care about them, you can’t just cut them out of your life, but they are negative and their negativity is eating away at you. What can you do?
The best way of dealing with life’s challenges is to take a good look at ourselves and take responsibility for what we think, feel and do.
Never give your power away by blaming others for what you have or don’t have, what you feel or don’t feel. Once you do so, you’ll become a victim of circumstance, and instead of using your time and energy to beat life’s challenges, you’ll sink to a dark and miserable place.
Here are 10 smart, positive and effective ways of dealing with the negativity of the people close to you:
 
1. Give up the need to complain
Make sure you are taking responsibility for your feelings and mood. Don’t go complaining that other people’s negativity is affecting you, because it will only create more negativity. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings and see what you can do to make yourself feel better and change the existing situation.
Whoever has limited knowledge of human nature and seeks happiness by changing everything but his own attitude, will waste his life in futile efforts.”
Samuel Johnson. 
2. Similarity Attracts
Good brings about good, bad brings about bad, and if we want to or not, we pull into our lives events, situations and people that reflect our internal state. Ask yourself: “How am I feeling? Am I happy, excited, thankful and calm? Or am I anxious, frustrated and judgmental?”
You may find that you radiate misery to the environment and that part of the negative energy surrounding you is in fact a reflection of yourself.
3. Don’t believe everything you think
This is definitely one of the hardest things to learn. Look closely at the negative people in your life. What is it about them that gets you going? What affects you so much? Is what they are doing really that bad or is your brain playing games with you?
Remember, the brain is configured to look for trouble, and it focuses on other’s negative qualities. It’ll be very hard to get it to see the positive side of things, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
4. Focus
Ask yourself: “Am I ready to find the good in these people? Am I able to see their good qualities?” Let the answers come naturally, make sure you are being honest with yourself.
If you feel like you’re insistent and won’t change the way you are looking at people and situations, don’t give yoursef a hard time. This takes time and patience, and when you are ready, you’ll make this step. Remember, we all have good in us.
It’s so hard when I NEED to do it and so easy when I WANT to do it.
Annie Gottlier.
5. Don’t make their problems YOUR problems
For their sake and yours, make sure you are not adopting their problems and becoming negative about them yourself. If you want to cure negativity, sliding down right along with the negative person won’t help, it will just make it worse by validating their thought and behavioral patterns. Rather, focus on solutions, not problems. Offer that and nothing else.
6. Taking ownership
Instead of being a victim and judge, blame and pass criticism, you need to take full responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, and take a different approach.
Everything that annoys us in others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.
Carl Jung.
Don’t waste your time obsessing and thinking: “They are ruining my energy, making me miserable, their negative energy is infecting my own…” Instead, say to yourselves: “How can I use this for my advantage? Is there something I’m doing wrong? How can I improve the situation and increase my positive energy to be stronger than their negative energy? What do I learn from all of this?”
7. Come with your own positive energy
Focusing on negative energy cannot create positive energy, and the other way around is also true. Focus on making yourself happy enough that you have great positive energy, and you will see the negativity cringing away from it.
Remember, energy is contagious!
How to put up positive energy? Focus on the things you like about the negative people, focus on things you love about yourselves, life and the world around you. Think of loved ones, of things that make you happy. That way, you will increase the positive energy exponentially.
If you incur negative energy by thinking about bad things, the opposite is also true, and you’ll be able to hopefully ‘wake up’ your fellow workers. You can’t focus on them both at the same time, so choose – happiness or misery.
8. Be part of the change you’d like to see
The world is no more than a reflection of who we are, deep inside. Try to go for a feeling of well-being, to live a positive life, a merry life, that has love, trust, and the pursuit of happiness. We cannot change others, but only ourselves. This is the only way to change the world.
Think of it this way: When you are happy, the world seems happy, and the sky is open and blue. When you are sad, the world seems sad as well, and the sky is grey and uncaring, leaving you alone to deal with your pain.
Flow with life events, don’t resist them, live in harmony and be the change you wish to see in the world.
Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others.
Wayne W. Dyer.
9. Awareness and acceptance
Work on understanding life’s inevitable duality – accept the negative with the good. Don’t harp on people’s negativity, don’t judge or fight them. Let them be, look and accept. Remember, your world is no more real than a reflection of who you are, deep inside. Don’t try to bring everyone into your own world, accept theirs as no less real than yours, and their point of view as no less valid.
The hardest part of acceptance is accepting that, sometimes, some people cannot be changed. Their negativity is something they will defend to the last drop. Not because it gives them pleasure, but because they think it is a natural part of themselves. Even though it’s never too late to try and change that point of view, some never will. It is up to you to either accept their negativity and react accordingly, or take your distance from them. This is especially hard when it is someone we love.
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of others.” |
Carl Jung.
10. Move forward
Dealing with negativity and trying your best to disspell it can be exhusting, and at some point you have to move on with your life in a positive way. Find a path that allows you to go on with your life without the negativity of others, but also without the regret that leaving a loved one or friend behind may cause you.
Make your feelings known to them, make them understand they are hard to be around, and slowly decrease your contact. If they want you to stay in their lives, they will be forced to at least pretend to be less negative, and pretending is the first step to actually becoming less negative. The more we act a certain way, the more we believe in it.

Image courtesy of: Michal Marcol / freedigitalphotos.net

Source….www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan

Message for the Day…” Once You Conquer External Tendency, Control of Internal Conflicts become Easy…”

External control helps internal control in many ways. To succeed in external controls is more difficult than to achieve success in controlling the internal! A turn of the steering wheel in one’s hand in any direction makes the wheels of the car, which are not in one’s hand, move in the same direction. The wheels won’t turn in one direction when the steering is turned in another; this is the natural. But sometimes, when the steering is turned one way, the wheels may drag another way, but this is due to the giving up of the natural characteristic. The internal wheels, if they have no air, which is the true essence, may behave as if there is no relationship with the steering. But they can’t go beyond the bounds of steering; the steering in the hand is related to the wheels below. If there is no such relation, the journey becomes impossible. Therefore for the one who has struggled with and conquered the external tendencies, the internal tendencies become easily controllable.

Sathya Sai Baba

Image of the Day…Sunset…

Sunset over Greece

A beautiful sunset on one of the long days of summer.

View larger. | Nikolaos Pantazis wrote:

Nikolaos Pantazis posted this photo to EarthSky Facebook a few days before the summer solstice. He wrote:

Every year, on the days around summer solstice, the setting sun aligns with that rock, near the village of Platanos, Peloponnese, Greece.

 

Source….www.earthsky.org

Natarajan

Pepper….A Perfect Medicine at our Kitchen !!!

20 Great Uses for Black Pepper

There’s good reason why black pepper is considered the ‘king of spices’. With its aromatic appeal, a culinary selection and a large variety of medicinal advantages, black pepper has gained a place of honor in any kitchen or spice rack, and even in the medicine cabinet.grandmotherSince ancient times, pepper appeared in many medicinal arts, for its ability to calm stomach ache, reduce liver problems, lung diseases and digestion problems, as well as improve blood flow, acting as an anti-depressant and reduce the risk of Colorectal Cancer.My granny taught me a few great uses for this spice, and now I’ll share a few with you. 
1. To keep your cholesterol low – Add a 1/4 spoon of black pepper to a glass of buttermilk. Mix in some finely cut onion and drink.
2. Dealing with cold feet – Put black pepper grains, a few pieces of garlic and mustard grains in a cloth bag and hang around your neck.
3. To lose weight – Add a 1/4 spoon of ground black pepper to a glass of water and add 2 spoons of lemon juice and a spoon of honey. Mix well and drink daily.
4. To reduce fever – Take 7-8 leaves of basil and 3-4 grains of black pepper and chew them together.
pepper
5. To treat a cold – Make some tea and add 2-3 grains of ground black pepper, a piece of ginger and basil leaves.
6. To relieve a dry cough – Grind 5-6 seeds of black pepper and mix with natural honey. Swallow a spoon of this mix daily until relief is achieved.
7. To relieve asthma attacks – Boil 8-10 grains of pepper, add 2 clove buds and 10-15 basil leaves to the water. Let the brew sit for about 15 minutes, strain it and add 2 spoons of honey. Tip: Drink with milk!
8. Treating a sore throat – Squeeze some lemon juice, add a bit of salt and ground black pepper – and gurgle.
9. To treat a chronic cold – Consume ground black pepper with some dates.
10. To open a blocked up nose – Mix equal amounts of black pepper, cinnamon, Cumin and cardamom seeds. Grind to a thin powder and smell or inhale the mixture. This will cause healthy sneezing and will open the nose ducts.
11. To relieve any kind of cough – Grind some black pepper and add sugar. Consume the mix with clarified butter.
12. To ease a heavy cough – add 2-3 grains of black pepper to a glass of boiling hot milk, wait for it to cool a bit and then drink.
13. Treating toothache – Mix ground black pepper with clove oil. Smear the ointment on the afflicted area.
14. To treat indigestion – Mix some black pepper with ginger juice and sip after every meal.
15. Relieve nausea – Mix black pepper and water in a glass, add some fresh lemon juice, mix and drink slowly.
16. Treating skin conditions – Prepare an ointment from ground black pepper and refined butter. Apply to skin conditions such as allergy rash, Eczema and scabies.
17. To fight baldness – Make a thick mix from black pepper and lemon seeds. Apply it daily to the balding areas about 10 minutes before showering. The solution should help revitalize hair growth.
18. To deal with hemorrhoids – Grind and mix 20 grams of black pepper, 10 grams of cumin and 15 grams of sugar. Mix in water and drink morning and evening, each day.
19. To stop bleeding – Cover the bleeding wound with
 ground black pepper. Bandage with a paper towel and tighten with cello-tape. Wait 10 minutes and the bleeding will stop.
20. To stop hiccups – Hold a small plate with black pepper to your nose, exhale strongly a few times and the hiccups will cease.

Source…www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Natural Solutions for White Teeth…

Natural Ways to Whiten Your Teeth

We all love seeing white, pearly smiles, and would love for our teeth to shine. However, our coffee, nicotine and other habits make this extremely difficult, and we end up with either stained or yellow teeth, that make us feel we are not getting our money’s worth out of our smile! Although there are many whitening products, they don’t all work and some have nasty side-effects.

Here are 10 natural solutions that will whiten your teeth without subjecting you to other problems.
1. Hydrogen Peroxide 

Hydrogen peroxide can be used as its own whitening agent if used as a mouth wash. use a mix of 1:1 water and hydrogen peroxide and gargle for about a minute. This will have the added benefit of neutralizing bad odors and cleansing the mouth from bacteria.
2. Aloe
The aloe plant has a long history as a healing agent, and although it is most known as skin medicine, recent research indicates it might be great for our teeth and gums. In 2009, the Academy for general dentistry in the US, found that smearing some aloe gel on the teeth may purify and calm down inflammation, as well as fight bacteria.
In addition, it was found that it can be used as a natural tooth whitener, and its popularity as a tooth whitener has risen in recent years. The best way to use it for teeth whitening is to use an extract of the center of the leaf.
Please Note: Do not swallow the aloe gel as it may cause stomach cramps. Also, it is not recommend for use by pregnant women.
3. Banana
Another natural solution to whitening our teeth is found in the form of the banana peel. Research has found that the minerals inside the peel, such as potassium and bromine, help whiten the teeth naturally without causing any damage.
Cut the peel to little pieces, then rub the internal side of the banana on your teeth and do not wash for 15 minutes. Then rinse your mouth well. Some say the same can be achieved with an orange peel, and the same procedure applies.
4. Drinking Soda
One of the most common natural whitening solutions is drinking soda. Some mix it with regular toothpaste until a lumpy texture is achieved while some mix it with 3% Hydrogen peroxide, which serve as an anti-bacterial agent and keep the teeth and gum safe from bacteria.
5. Carbon powder 
Carbon is an absorbing material, capable of absorbing toxins, chemicals and acidic stains, leading them out of the body through the excretion system. Since it doesn’t get absorbed into the body but only passes the digestion system, it is considered an effective solution to clean toxins. The same effect applies to the mouth cavity. Not only does the carbon help prevent gum disease and kills bacteria in the mouth, it can also whiten our teeth by absorbing the stains that accumulate on the teeth.
Dip a clean wet tooth brush in carbon powder and clean your teeth using little circular motions for 2 minutes. Then carefully and thoroughly rinse your mouth until all the powder is gone. Don’t worry, it comes right off!
6. Strawberries
One of the most popular solutions is the strawberry. The secret to this method is the malic acid found in the strawberry, which removes stains from the tooth’s coating, even hard stains made by wine, cigarettes and coffee. The method is to crush the strawberries to a pulp and then mix with drinking soda to get a thick and homogenous mixture.
Use a soft toothbrush to spread the mixture on the teeth. Leave for 5 minutes and then brush thoroughly with regular toothpaste to remove the rest of the mixture. If needed, use dental floss to get rid of any strawberry seeds.
However, don’t over-use this method, as over time it can damage your tooth coating.
7. Fibers
Many believe that eating foods rich in fiber, like: Apples, pears, carrots, celery, broccoli and lettuce – can be used as a peeling technique for the teeth. The vitamins and minerals in these foods clean the tooth without damaging its coating.
8. Dairy Products
Recent research supports the recommendation to eat a small amount of cheese after a meal, as the calcium and phosphorus increase the tooth mineral coating, creating more white teeth. Milk and yogurt help keep the mouth cavity clean and shiny, and they also strengthen the teeth.
9. Olive Oil
Many will testify to the usefulness of olive oil in whitening teeth. There are 2 ways to use it before brushing our teeth.
One: Add a few drops to your tooth brush.
Two: Drip a few drops of olive oil on a clean hand towel and smear on the teeth. Leave for 10 minutes and then rinse thoroughly.
10. Apple Vinegar
Apple vinegar can get insistent stains out and is especially effective against coffee and nicotine stains. The result is not immediate, but with time (and after thoroughly rinsing to make sure the acidity doesn’t damage the teeth), you will see some nice results.

Images courtesy of: stockimages, adamr, Pixomar, m_bartosch / freedigitalphotos.net

Source….www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan

The Game of Numbers …!!!

Why Are Numbers the Shape They Are?

We use numbers all day, every day. We write them, we click them, we calculate with them and we use them to think and count. But how much do you know about the actual numbers you use? Most of us know that they were invented way back, by the Arab empire, adapted by the whole world. Before that, the popular numbers were the Roman numbers (I for 1, X for 10 and so forth). But do you know WHY the numbers look the way they do? If not, then here’s why:

why numbers are the shape they are

 

why numbers are the shape they are

 

why numbers are the shape they are

 

why numbers are the shape they are

why numbers are the shape they are

why numbers are the shape they are

 

why numbers are the shape they are

why numbers are the shape they are

why numbers are the shape they are

 

why numbers are the shape they are

 

why numbers are the shape they are

 

why numbers are the shape they are

Source….www.ba-bamail.com

Natarajan

Joke of the Day…” Not Always…” !!!

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out.

John said, “I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.”

Just then Jessica said, “I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed.
So the officer asked for John’s license and after looking at it said, “Sir your license has expired.
And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn’t realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said, “I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired.
Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, “Jessica, shut your mouth!!”
The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. “Does your husband always talk to you like that?
Not always,” answers Jessica, “only when he’s drunk.
Source….www.ba-bamail.com
Natarajan

” English Language Skill…” Meet Santosh, Founder and Director of Mera English.com …

From Dindigul to Google and Chennai, this entrepreneur has travelled a full circle riding on English

Remember the Rapidex English Speaking Course? It was probably the only thick book in most households around the early 80s. We had one too. With three children studying in an English medium school and a husband who fussed about these things, my mother took refuge in the Rapidex to reach out to her family. Nearly all households have gone through this ‘English Vinglish’ moment sometime or the other.

The book, with editions in Hindi, Urdu, Bangla, Tamil, Gujarati and several other vernacular tongues, guided people to master the Queen’s language in 30 days. Kept in the privacy of the bedroom, away from visitors’ prying eyes, the Rapidex gained public acceptance only after cricketer Kapil Dev endorsed it.

The tryst with English language remains. According to unconfirmed estimates, the number of English-speaking people in India is expected to be somewhere around 10 per cent of its population, which is 125 million people. Thus, it is no surprise that Pustak Mahal, which publishes Rapidex, continues to make money on this bestseller even today.

“Whatever you say, the fact is that the primary reason people aren’t able to convert their education into employability is because their English language skill is very poor. In fact, I would say this skill is more important than a degree. Coming from a small town myself, I can relate to their aspirations when they tell me they want to learn to speak English fluently,” says Santhosh Karnananda, Founder and Director of MeraEnglish.com.

Walk the talk

While growing up in Dindigul, a small town near Madurai in Tamil Nadu, Santhosh would walk four kilometers every day to buy The Hindu with his pocket money because his parents would not indulge him, saying it was a waste of time and money to read English newspapers. “I am the first generation English speaker in my family. Though my parents are educated, they studied in Tamil medium. While I was studying in Dindigul, there was hardly anyone who read English beyond their course books.”

Twenty-seven-year-old Santhosh, who taught himself communicative English primarily through newspapers, has today established himself as a professional trainer and entrepreneur through his website MeraEnglish. The website does not ‘teach’ you English; rather its focus is on providing the correct usage of words. For instance, you may either decide to ‘denounce’ the trend of English craze in India or you could ‘renounce’ your desire to learn the language. The website helps to identify the difference between such similar words and helps visitors grasp their nuances.

Santhosh has trained 40,000 people over 44 institutions primarily in Tamil Nadu. Through his MeraEnglish, a free to read website, MyGRE, and MyGMAT, he trains students and corporates in English usage, building English vocabulary, and communicative English. He has even authored a book, ‘Learn 1000 words in 6 hours’.

 

Speak up

But the irony is while he was growing up in Dindigul he did not have anyone to converse with in English. “I don’t know why, but I always held a fascination towards the English language. When I would attempt to talk to classmates and acquaintances in English, I would be laughed at,” recalls Santhosh. If you are familiar with the small town milieu of Tamil Nadu, it will not come as a surprise that Santhosh was often referred to as ‘Peter’. “This was the name given to anyone who tried to speak in English. People thought I was showing off.”

What kept Santhosh going were the quiz competitions that he had begun to win for his school. “There was always the next competition to look forward to so I did not have much time to brood over the slights and comments made by people.” In the ninth standard, he went on to lead the school and state in an inter-state quiz competition. “The more I won, the more I gained confidence. But having said that, spoken English was still a big problem,” he says.

In Dindigul, those who studied in English medium school appeared for the CBSE examination in the 10th standard. After that, they would move over to the state board because, as Santhosh says, “It is easy to score. For those appearing for engineering or medicine, it was an unspoken rule to follow this trend. And it so happened that all my classmates went to the state board in a different school and I was the only one left behind in class XI in my school.”

This turned out to be the most difficult part of Santhosh’s life. “I still get nightmares recalling those days. But looking back, I feel I could do what I am doing today only because of those two years in my life. I was completely alone. There was no one with whom I could share the lesson plans or clear my doubts besides of course the teachers.” This phase taught him self-reliance which came in handy when he decided to quit Google, and go solo.

Search leads to Google

Yes, Santhosh did achieve the feat of travelling from a lonely existence to the most connected place in the world, Google, riding merely on self-reliance and the burning passion to do something meaningful in his life.

But before Santhosh reached where he is today, he had to walk many a torturous paths. There was pressure from home to conform. To join the state board and try his luck to become an engineer or a doctor. “That is the period that strengthened my resolve to study English on my own. That’s how when I decided to launch MeraEnglish, I did everything for my website, writing content, hiring people, and it was easy because of those two years that I spent on my own.”

In 2002-2003, Internet had not reached places like Dindigul, and the only pastime for students was either play or read. Santhosh did both. He played hard and read voraciously. “I came across the mention of Loyola College in Chennai in ‘India Today’ magazine. I had always dreamt of going there. The only advice I got on how I could get an admission there was, ‘study hard.'” Santhosh scored 85 per cent and secured a seat in Loyola College in Chennai.

From frying pan into fire

If you’ve ever experienced being out of the frying pan and into the fire, you’ll know what Santhosh went through when he entered the portals of this famous college in a big city. “I thought I was alone in Dindigul, coming to Chennai made me feel even more isolated. Making friends became difficult. You had to be good in English to be accepted here. I started hanging around people I thought I could learn from. Because of my knowledge in current affairs, I was able to present a point of view which slowly made me gain acceptance. I started losing my inhibitions, and as people got to know me, I could express myself more. If one does anything repeatedly one improves. And that is what helped me when Google came to the campus,” he says.

Santhosh joined Google as an Account Associate in 2007.

It was the biggest thing to happen to me. The mere fact that I was going to work at Google was enough for me. I did not contemplate much about my role.

Thus towards the end of the second year, Santhosh pondered on the most existential question that all of us confront sometime or the other — what do I want from life? “I wanted to explore my potential.”

One day while returning home from his morning gym session, Santhosh walked into a training class on a whim. It was a campus recruitment training class to coach students how to face interviews and appear for aptitude tests. “I had appeared for GMAT and GRE, and could relate to the students,” he says. The institute offered him an opportunity to take a few classes. After quitting Google, Santhosh freelanced as a trainer for a year and a half. “Though I train people to think rationally, most of my decisions have been irrational.”

Time, a good teacher

Santhosh found his calling in helping people like him achieve professional success. “I travelled extensively across Tamil Nadu and met thousands of young boys and girls like me who were struggling to come out of conformity.” With his savings from Google, Santhosh was able to set up MeraEnglish website in 2012.

“When I started out I did not know how to make money. I only knew how to write content. It was only in 2013, that I started making money.” Today, the MeraEnglish team has 11 trainers and writers with an office and classroom in Chennai.

Despite pressure from family, Santhosh has decided not to marry till he has established his business. “I took my first three-day break after three years when I went to Dindigul to visit my grandparents. My brain constantly thinks how to get the next client. Entrepreneurship is a full-time occupation. You cannot switch off. In 2013, I put on a lot of weight because I was not paying attention to my health or diet. It is relatively easy now, and I have started going to the gym.”

Nonetheless, his entrepreneurial life has taught Santhosh to conquer his short temper. “I used to get angry very easily. I am much calmer now. This has been a huge learning. Despite all the uncertainties, I can handle so much and still have a good night’s sleep and walk into the office the next morning with a smile on my face. Decision making has certainly become better. Initially, I would get fatigued. For some reason, decision making saps a lot of energy,” he says.

In his training sessions, Santhosh guides students to follow their passion and make money too.

 

“I tell them to make irrational decisions. Sometimes the irrational part knows more than the rational part of the brain. But you should not leave it there. Perseverance is very important. I did not know it would take me this long to build. You should hang in there, because people trust you only after some time. As all entrepreneurs know, it gets easier with time.”

Dipti Nair

Source….www.rediff.com

Natarajan

 

Message for the Day…” Difference between Ordinary Person and Spiritual Seeker…”

Aspirants are engaged in contemplation of the Lord (Sarveswara-chinthana) as ceaselessly as the waves of the sea; they accumulate the wealth of equality and equal love to all, and are content in the thought that all is the Lord’s and nothing is theirs. Unlike the regular person, the spiritual seeker won’t easily bend before grief or loss, anger or hatred or selfishness, hunger, thirst or fickleness. One should master all the above good things as much as possible and journey through life in fortitude, courage, joy, peace, charity, and humility. Realising that tending the body is not all-important, one has to bear even hunger and thirst patiently and be engaged uninterruptedly in contemplation of the Lord. Quarreling at every tiny little thing, losing one’s temper, becoming sad at the slightest provocation, getting angry at the smallest insult, worried at thirst, hunger, and loss of sleep — these can never be the characteristics of an aspirant.

Sathya Sai Baba